


Who is Quarantined?!

by CharissaD



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Friendship, thirteenth doctor - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:33:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 57,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23328559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharissaD/pseuds/CharissaD
Summary: I was sitting locked away like the rest of the world when I thought, what it would be like if the Doctor had to be quarantined?
Comments: 18
Kudos: 69
Collections: Doctor Who Fanfics, Thirteenth Doctor Fics





	1. Chapter 1

The days passed by slowly when she was alone. When she had an errand or something to accomplish she didn’t mind. The TARDIS was infinite, and although the maintenance required to upkeep an infinite machine was relatively low, it needed fixing now and then. This was not one of those days.

This day, there was no maintenance required. This day there were no errands to run. And so started a typical routine the Doctor had of letting her friends go back to their lives-- their lives without her. 

Give them a few weeks to rest. Recuperate. Catch up with family and friends. Get back to jobs, their homes-- their routine. And then, she hoped, get bored. Become restless and wish for a magical adventure-- just in time for her TARDIS to appear. She looked forward to their faces-- anxiously anticipating the experience that awaited them. The look that said “I WANT to be here. I look forward to this part of my life.” And, of course, the look that said, “I missed you.” 

She fed off their excitement, and she needed to be around the only people who cared about HER-- who thought about what she was up to when they weren’t around. Having lost so many others, and having no family of her own, she knew the value of surrounding herself with people who really cared.

Which is why typically as she waved her friends off with a forced smile, she knew what would happen. 

“I’ll pick you up in… 3 weeks?” she’d ask.

“Sounds good,” one would say.

“Are you going to be okay on your own?” another would ask. 

“Oh, yes,” she’d lie. “Loads to do… Always something to see…A TARDIS to maintain. Maybe I’ll invent a new way to arrange the periodic table of elements! That could be fun.” 

Satisfied that she had plans enough to keep herself busy, her friends would walk out of the TARDIS doors and back into their daily lives. But instead of all the things she told them she would do, the Doctor would head straight toward the console, type in the date for 3 weeks’ time, and head back to her friends. She couldn’t help it-- she was a people person. She genuinely liked being around others, but it was also more than that. They were what made her life worth it. They were her family now. 

She KNEW this routine. “How did it go?” She would ask a minute later, as she opened the doors for her fam.

“Great, but such and such became dull” one would say, or “So and so was starting to get on my nerves…” 

“Oh, that’s too bad,” she would fib. “I’m sure when you give it another go in a few weeks’ time it will better.” 

“And you?” someone else would say. “How did you spend your time?”

“Oh, this and that,” she would lie again as she shut the TARDIS doors, waiting for her chance to change the subject. “How about a trip to the oldest museum in the universe?! It’s built at the very top of the moon of Shinar. I’ve always wanted to go there.” 

Her friends would look at each other for approval and smile. “Let’s be off!” someone would finally say. And they would be. 

So a minute ago when she dropped her fam off to live out another 3 weeks of their lives without her, she fully anticipated the same routine to happen. With a grinding noise so familiar to her and a thud, she landed. This was her favorite part. When she dropped them off they were almost tired of their life of adventure- their life with HER. When she picked them up, they were eager. They were ready. And she was wanted. She opened the doors to find her three friends standing nearby. Ryan and Graham were grinning. Yaz was not, she noticed, but the Doctor would change that soon. 

“How did it go?” she asked, as she always did. 

“Great!” Ryan said enthusiastically as he walked inside. “You are looking at the world champion of Mario Cart.” Graham also stepped inside.

“The world champion?!” The Doctor said lively, knowing he was exaggerating but not minding anyway. “That’s a pretty big feat! Did I ever tell you about the time I was trapped inside of Mario Cart?” She asked as she moved toward the console, delighted at the inquisitive faces her friends were making. “Now THAT was night to remember…”

Small talk and chatter commenced as she caught up on the 504 hours of their lives she had missed, and she loved every moment of it. Suddenly, though, the console room didn’t feel right… something-- or rather, someONE-- was missing. The Doctor made her way to the still-open doors of the TARDIS. “Yaz?” she asked.

Yaz, who was leaning against a tree nearby, looked up nervously, as if she didn’t quite know what to say.

No, the Doctor thought. This can’t be it. I’m not ready for it… “You coming?” she asked, forcing her voice to become light and hoping her facial expressions matched it.

Yaz paused. “I can’t this time, Doctor.” Yaz looked down at her feet.

“No. Not now…” The Doctor thought, feeling the rate her hearts rising fast. “It’s alright, Doctor…” she told herself, trying to abate the panic. “You can talk her out of this.”

“What do you mean?” the Doctor asked Yaz. Her eyes furrowed in worry. “Are you all right?”

Yaz suddenly looked up from the ground. “Yes, I’m fine,” she said quickly, not wanting to worry her best friend and mentor. “Sorry. It’s just… I don’t think I can leave right now.”

A flood of relief filled the Doctor. It’s situational. I can do situational. I was MADE for situational. “What’s going on?”

Graham and Ryan now joined the Doctor at the TARDIS doors. 

“It’s just… with the quarantine…”

“Quarantine?” the Doctor interrupted, more worried this time. “Wait…” she said, her mind visually skimming through all her knowledge of Earth history. Her face became more hardened. “2020… this is COVID-19.” Graham and Ryan looked at each other questioningly. The Doctor quickly hurried out of the doors. Grabbing Yaz’s hand, she yanked her back inside the safety net of the TARDIS, closing the doors behind her. The Doctor took out her sonic screwdriver and started scanning Yaz.

“How come you didn’t warn us against this, Doc?” Graham asked.

“Negative. Thank goodness!” The doctor said, reading the results of Yaz’s bioscan. She started on Ryan. “I’m over 2000 years old, Graham. I can’t remember every pandemic that falls upon every world in the universe now, can I?” she defended. The Doctor looked at her sonic. “Negative again,” she sighed in relief. Then she scanned Graham.

Graham eyed the sonic wearily, but decided banter was the best way to ease the tension the Doctor was feeling. “Well maybe not EVERY pandemic, but come on, it’s us-- can’t you remember the ones that affect your favorites?”

The doctor looked at the sonic, holding her breath. “Negative.” she said.

“We’re not your favorites?” Graham asked, pretending to be hurt.

“You’re negative for the disease,” the Doctor chided as she walked toward the console. She started to pull levers. “All right, 4 months time,” she started punching coordinates into the tardis as she spoke. 

“Doctor!” Yaz said urgently.

The Doctor continued. “That should give the powers that be time enough to come up with a treatment and get this outbreak somewhat under control.” She was finished computing. All that was left was to pull the lever. She reached for it, but Yaz’s hand got in the way.

“Doctor!” this time she shouted.

The Doctor, keeping her own feelings in check, responded calmly. “Once you three are in the clear, I can pop back in time and give a reason for your disappearance. I can send your jobs documentation stating that you were needed elsewhere.” She forced herself to become even more animated. “I could even have MI6 state that your presence was vital for national security! That’s impressive! With documentation like that, no one will question anything!”

“I’m pretty sure EVERYONE at my work would question why a kid from assembly was recruited by MI6…” Ryan countered.

“Well fine, I can come up with something else,” the Doctor responded, not missing a beat. “Just let me remove you from this contagion and give me some time. Get it?! Because it’s a TIME machine?!”

Graham and Ryan rolled their eyes at her joke.

The Doctor’s face fell. “I thought that was quite funny,” she defended.

“I can’t let my family deal with this on their own,” Yaz stated, turning the Doctor’s attention back to her. “What if I were to come back in 4 months to find my grandmother didn’t make it? Or that my parents were infected? What kind of sister would I be if I left Sonja to deal with taking care of them by herself?” 

The Doctor’s determination started to fade. “Of course Yaz couldn’t…” she thought. 

“What kind of police officer would I be to leave my fellow officers to fight this pandemic on their own?” Yaz asked again.

“THAT’S the point, Yaz,” The Doctor jumped back with newfound determination. “Your chances of being exposed simply because of your job puts you at risk. You can’t possibly believe I’m okay with that.”

“Doctor,” Yaz looked at her incredulously. “We’ve fought Daleks… and Cybermen…” 

“Exactly! You survived those-- why press your luck?!” she asked, hoping to gain some ground. She had to gain some type of control-- some type of authority-- to keep her friends safe. 

Yaz was not deterred. “What’s the difference? The moment you pull that lever you know that danger will find us.”

“The difference is out there you have ME,” the Doctor shouted. 

The room was quiet. Only for a few seconds, but the quiet could be felt.

“You have to admit, that’s a pretty big difference…” Ryan stated, breaking the silence.

They all looked at each other, shifting uncomfortably. Resignation was starting to appear on both Yaz and the Doctor’s faces. Yaz spoke first. “I know you’re worried. And I appreciate that. I’ll look after myself. I’ll be careful” She turned toward the other two. “Take Graham. HE is at risk.”

“Excuse me?” Graham stated. “I may be no spring chicken, but…”

“With your health history, it’d be wiser to have you skip these next few months.” Yaz interrupted. “Ryan can keep you company.” 

“By MYSELF?!” Ryan started to protest.

“Oi, I’m here!” the Doctor stated, pretending to be offended.

“Or you could just pop forward 4 months from now and pick me up.” Yaz offered. “It would be minutes for you, and just 4 months for me.”

“Hey, hold on!” Graham protested. “I have people I love out there, too, you know.” The Doctor’s gaze shifted toward Graham. She didn’t like where this was going. She was losing control of the situation fast. “And as Yaz has so straightforwardly stated, many of my people are at risk. I’m not going to let them go through this alone, and I can’t let Yaz show me up now, can I?”

“Graham, I really don’t think that’s a good idea.” the doctor fought. “For you especially. I can’t guarantee your safety in this.”

Graham considered that. “Well, that’s all right. I have to be there for my mates during their struggles, don’t I? Even if it’s just cheering them up with a phone call while being quarantined…”

“Does anyone want to know what I want to do?” Ryan asked. 

The Doctor turned around and put both hands on the console, her back to her three friends. She could take off now. She could ask for forgiveness later. Every instinct inside of her said to protect her friends, consequences be what they may. They’d be angry, but surely they’d understand eventually. They may be upset now… they may even want to stop traveling for a while, but they’d come around. She COULDN’T lose them. Not them…

Resignation fell upon her face again. The whole ‘forced alien abduction’ thing had never been her style. She had to respect her friends’ decisions, right? Or did she, if it meant risking the lives of the ones she loved? She clenched her fists, debating in her own mind. 

“Fine,” she finally stated, turning towards her fam.

Ryan started, “Okay, I want to…”

“Under one condition…” the doctor interrupted. 

“You weren’t talking to me then…” Ryan stated. 

“I’m staying, too.” The Doctor stated decisively. 

The room went quiet. The Doctor FELT the quiet. It was more quiet than when her friends weren’t on the TARDIS. They looked at each other uncomfortably. “What?” she asked.

“You’re going to stay here?” Ryan said in disbelief.

“Yeah.” the Doctor responded.

“HERE…” Ryan tried again, as if the Doctor hadn’t heard him the first time.

“Yes, here…” she said. 

This time Graham spoke up. “YOU are going to be in one place… for four months?”

“And when we say one place,” Yaz added, “we mean quarantined… literally ONE place…”

The doctor looked offended. “I can stay in one place! I’d be good at staying in one place. Brilliant at it, actually. I’m so old that four months to me would be like blinking. I actually stayed on earth for a whole year once, just waiting for a bunch of tiny boxes to move. This will be nothing compared to that…” The fam looked at each other, a little unsure. “Besides,” the Doctor continued, “I won’t be ‘literally’ in one place. I’ll be with you!” she said energetically towards Yaz.

“Me?” Yaz asked in surprise.

“Yeah! I’m a DOCTOR. Where else would I be during a worldwide plague, except with my bestie, PC Khan, on the front lines?”

“Why didn’t you stop the black death, then?” Ryan asked. “Or the Flu of 1918?”

“It’s because they didn’t have her favorite people in them,” Graham said, trying once again to lighten the mood.

“She still hasn’t said we’re her favorites…” Ryan responded.

“I can’t just go changing history, now, can I?” the Doctor defended. Then, suddenly more serious and firm, she said, “But I CAN make sure the three of you get through this unharmed. And I will.” 

It was quiet again, but the three humans smiled slightly at her, feeling her care. I will, the Doctor thought. I HAVE to. She looked up at Graham, especially worried now that she made the wrong decision. I can’t lose these three. Not these three…

“Well then,” she said, forcing her tone to be happy and energetic again. She slid her right arm over Ryan’s shoulder and her left arm over Graham’s. “Looks like I’ll be staying with you boys!”

“You’re staying with us?” Ryan asked, a little surprised.

“Well yeah, Yaz’s flat already has 4 people,” the Doctor explained.

“And a family who is way too curious about what we do already,” Yaz added.

“I can’t be seen roaming the street to get back and forth to the TARDIS. There’s a quarantine, after all!” the Doctor finished.

“You can have Ryan’s room,” Graham stated. Ryan looked at Graham in offence. “Ryan will take the couch.” He eyed Ryan like a parent would. 

Ryan backed down. This is the Doctor. She had done so much for them-- for everyone. The least he could do is give up his room for a few months. “Yeah, of course you can.”

“Thanks, boys, but if you remember I don’t actually need to sleep.” The Doctor started punching in new coordinates. “I can just move the TARDIS into your living room.” She stopped and looked up at Graham. “You don’t still have furniture in there, do you?” 

“What, furniture In my living room? Yeah! Yeah, I still do!”

The Doctor frowned. “I’ll try to navigate around it… Hopefully you haven’t rearranged anytime recently, I’m doing this from memory. Anyway-- this way Ryan can still have his privacy. Privacy’s important to young humans, I’m told.” She looked up at her friends and beamed. “But love the offer, thanks!” Her hand reached toward the final lever.

“Doctor…” Yaz said, nervously. 

The doctor held out a hand, stopping her. “Not a trick, I promise. I’m just popping her up to the boys’ flat.” She pulled the lever and smiled. “This will be fun!” she said, energetically. And this time, she meant it.

Ryan leaned over to Graham. “She still never said we were her favorites…”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quarantine Day 1, Friday

Chapter 2

Quarantined Day 1-- Friday

The TARDIS landed effortlessly in the flat, and Graham was relieved to see that this time his furniture was still intact. The TARDIS made their home a little less roomy than one would have liked during a time when you were forced to stay inside, but Graham had to admit; with the doctor there, he felt better.

Yaz said her goodbyes quickly, eager to get back to her family. “I told them I needed some exercise. There’ll be questions if I’m gone too much longer.”

The Doctor punched in some numbers at the console and pulled a lever Yaz didn’t recognize. A box popped out below the navigation deck. “Before you go,” the Doctor started, “put these on your forehead.” The Doctor handed out what looked like long black nasal strips. 

“What’s this for?” Ryan asked.

“This will link you directly to my sonic, so if you begin exhibiting symptoms I’ll know,” the Doctor explained.

Ryan held the strip up to the light, observing it. “How does it work?” he asked. “Are there some kind of nanobots that absorb into the skin?”

“Something like that,” the Doctor answered. She took the strip from Ryan’s hands. “This side goes on your forehead. Then you peel off the back and let it soak in. Do NOT wash your face for half an hour.” Graham, Ryan, and Yaz did as they were told. “Oh, and since trace amounts will be on your fingers, try not to eat banana pudding without a spoon for the next 3 days. You do NOT want to know why....” she added hastily.

Graham’s face wrinkled. “Doctor, this feels a little funny…”

“It almost burns,” Yaz agreed. 

“That’s the nanobots linking to your immune system,” the Doctor explained. “Means it’s working. That’s good news, right?!” she said happily.

The three friends half smiled at her, trying to convince themselves that “good” was the word they would choose.. 

Yaz went home as soon as they left the TARDIS, leaving Ryan, Graham, and the Doctor on their own. 

Graham turned to Ryan. “Pop upstairs and clean the loo real quick, will you?” he whispered. 

Ryan’s eyes grew big in recognition. . “Good plan,” he whispered back. The Doctor watched Ryan disappear up the stairs.

“He’ll be down in a minute-- just… make yourself at home!” Graham said, trying to sound less nervous than he really was. Either the TARDIS cleaned itself or the Doctor kept it immaculate. They weren’t expecting to have guests, let alone HER. She had seen wonders across time and space-- he could only guess what his home looked like to someone like the Doctor.

The Doctor started looking at the pictures on Graham’s wall. If she found things cluttered, she didn’t mention it. “Last time I was here, we were in a bit of a hurry-- I didn’t get a chance to really look around,” she said. She looked back at Graham and beamed. “Now I have all the time in the world! Or, you know, four months… figure of speech.”

Graham smiled, still a little stiff from the abnormality of it all. “Yeah, my home is your home and all that,” Graham responded.

“So,” the Doctor said as she sat on the sofa. “What do you do when you’re in your flat?”

Graham sat down next to the Doctor. “Oh, you know, watch the tele. Read a book. Work on a hobby of some sort.”

The Doctor’s eyes grew big. “I could have a hobby! I’d be great at a hobby.” she said.

Graham chuckled. “I don’t know if my flat could withstand your hobbies, Doc. They tend to be… well let’s just say, intense.” 

The Doctor opened her mouth to protest, but then stopped. “That’s fair,” she told Graham with a half smile. She did have hobbies-- most of which consisted of saving worlds or inventing high tech machinery. Not many alien incursions at Graham’s flat these days, and she doubted Graham had the tools she needed to keep her inventor’s mind busy. She could always go back and build something on the TARDIS, but that would defeat the purpose of being there. She needed to be WITH them, no matter how bored she was already beginning to feel. That’s the only way she could ensure they were safe. They sat in silence for a moment. “Tele! It’s been a while since I’ve watched the tele. Tele sounds brilliant right now!”

“Oh all right,” Graham grabbed the remote control, happy to have something to do. “Anything in particular strike your fancy?” he asked.

The Doctor shook her head. “Whatever you typically watch is fine.”

“You sure? Because we have hundreds of channels. Can’t promise anything good, but…”

“I’m sure,” the Doctor interrupted enthusiastically. She didn’t get a chance like this very often-- a chance to see what her friends’ lives were like without her. What they watched-- what they ate-- what they talked about-- it all showed insight into their minds and personalities. It might not be the type of life that she as a Time Lord was accustomed to, but she was really looking forward to finding out more about her friends. 

Graham turned the television on. “Oh, my favorite!” he exclaimed. The Doctor looked anticipatingly at the tele. A man was holding a fish. It appeared dead. A monotone voice narrated. “What you’re seeing appears to be a sockeye salmon…”

“No way!” Graham said in amazement. “In March?! That’s nearly two months early for those parts!”

The man continued. “And weighing at nearly 6 kilos, any fisherman would be proud of this catch.” 

Graham whistled, clearly impressed. “That’s a whopper!”

The Doctor looked at Graham and then back at the tele. Surely there was something she was missing, and the look on her face betrayed such. 

“Graham!” Ryan shouted as he came down the stairs, turning Graham and the Doctor’s attention to him. “I’ve told you-- no one wants to watch this with you. The Doctor’s been here five minutes and you’re already boring her to death.” The Doctor smiled at his attempt to rescue her.

“I’ll have you know, this show is an inspiration, as well as a play on words!” Graham turned to the doctor to explain. “It’s called ‘Go Fish-ing.’ Get it?! Like the game?!”

The Doctor nodded her head in an attempt to be supportive, but failed at being able to feign any sort of enthusiasm.

Graham once again turned toward Ryan. “It inspires people to go enjoy the great outdoors. Not like your generation, fidgeting with those electronic games all day,” he chided.

“It’s not an inspiration-- it’s a sleep inducing coma.” Ryan countered.

“Well it’s a good thing the Doc doesn’t sleep then, isn’t it?” Graham defended.

“This will make her start,” Ryan finished pointedly. 

The Doctor jumped up vigorously, willing to change the subject. “Graham, thank you for showing me… the dead fish,” she said, with a fabricated polite smile. “It was lovely…” She forced her tone to become more urgent. “I just remembered, though, that this is an epidemic. There is a biological microscopic agent out there targeting humans and trying to break into the home of my fam. I can’t let it get past these doors.” 

She paused. Graham and Ryan looked at her and each other. “What?” Graham finally asked in confusion.

“I need to sanitize your flat,” she explained. “Do you have cleaning supplies?” 

Ryan and Graham nodded in understanding. “I’ll get them,” Ryan said, disappearing into the kitchen. 

“Here, we’ll help you,” Graham said, getting up from the sofa. 

“No need!” the doctor responded quickly. “It’ll give me a chance to have a look see at your gaff!” she said lively. The Doctor turned toward the kitchen. “Also, if I do it alone, it’ll take up more time…” she said quietly to herself. 

“You sure?” Graham asked, still standing.

Ryan appeared from the kitchen with three sponges and some cleaning spray. The Doctor took all of it from his hands. Ryan stared at her in confusion. 

“Oh yes-- continue your life as normal. Well, as normal as you can under the circumstances. Watch...” The Doctor attempted to point to the television while balancing the cleaning supplies in her arms. She paused, trying to find the right words. “... This….” she finally settled. “Besides, we’re family,” she explained light-heartedly. “You don’t have to entertain me. I’ll be fine on my own,” 

“Well, all right,” Graham said, uncertain, but sitting back down on the sofa nonetheless. He didn’t like the idea of not pitching in, especially when it was his own home; but he knew the Doctor’s personality. She needed to keep herself busy.

Ryan was still facing the doctor. “I’ll just be up in my room then,” he told her, almost feeling like he was asking permission. 

The Doctor nodded approvingly. “Don’t mind me-- I’ll just be here and there-- saving the world, from a kitchen-- one invisible microbe at a time,” she smiled and made her way to the kitchen. She put the supplies on the counter top. Finding herself alone, she started to monologue. 

“All right, pep talk time,” she told herself. “Doctor-- you can do this. Your boys are safe at home. Huh, I’ve got boys! Always wanted to be able to say ‘my boys’, and now I have!” She refocused. “You’ve got cleaning spray that kills…” she picked up the container and read its contents. “99% of all bacteria. Nice!” she put it down and frowned. “Too bad this disease is viral. Why can’t there ever just be a tub of what I need?” she asked herself. “Just once it would be nice if I had a tub of dalek dematerializer when I’m in the heat of battle…” she leaned over the counter and played with the spray bottle again. “Or, in this case, the anti-viral version of that.” She popped up enthusiastically. “I could invent it!” She said, turning around as if talking to an unseen audience. “The anti-viral thing, not a dalek dematerializer. If the daleks were capable of being dematerialized, I would have invented that spray a long time ago… And fine, maybe ‘invent’ isn’t the right word-- I know humans have anti-viral spray already, but I could tweak this solution!” She turned back toward the counter, proud of her revelation. “Yes, I think I might!” She started rummaging through the cabinets, looking for ingredients.   
___________________________________________________________________________

Twenty minutes after Graham last saw the Doctor, he heard a miniature explosion coming from the kitchen. 

“Doc, you all right in there?” he shouted worriedly.

Ryan came running down the stairs. The Doctor opened the door to the kitchen. Ryan’s nose wrinkled at the smell.

The Doctor coughed slightly. “Nothing to see in there!” she said happily-- too happily-- as if she were a child trying to cover up something she had done. Then she frowned. “Literally. You can’t actually see anything in there right now until the smoke clears. And I wouldn’t breathe too heavily if you try-- humans don’t have the best respiratory response to this chemical reaction.” She smiled again, trying to be reassuring. “But on the bright side-- no virus from earth is going to survive that either!” she said triumphantly.

Ryan and Graham looked at each other in fear. “Did she just tell us not to breathe or we’ll die?” Ryan asked. 

“Give it about half an hour and all should be clear and safe again!” she said.

“Safe to BREATHE?” Graham asked incredulously.

“I can’t hold my breath for half an hour…” Ryan added.

The Doctor’s smile faded. “Maybe go upstairs… the both of you…” She started back towards the kitchen, then turned around. “And open a window.” 

Graham nodded slightly, still nervous about the insinuation of death. He swore he was starting to feel fire in his lungs. 

The Doctor entered the kitchen, and popped back out almost immediately. “And maybe turn on a fan, just to be on the safe side...” Graham nodded again. The Doctor gave him a fabricated smile. “I’m going to close this door now,” she said, disappearing behind it. 

___________________________________________________________________________

Graham was still watching Ryan play his video games an hour later when the Doctor appeared. “Good news!” she said. “It’s safe to come out!”

“Oh THANK YOU, I’m starving!” Ryan said as he started to stand. Graham put a hand on his shoulder, stopping him.

“You sure it’s safe?” he asked the Doctor.

“Of course I’m sure! I wouldn’t put you in danger,” she answered. “Intentionally,” she clarified.

“What does the sonic say, Doc? Because I still feel a slight tingling in my chest…” Graham revealed.

The Doctor took out her sonic screwdriver and scanned Graham. After looking at the results, she handed it to him. “See?” she asked.

Graham looked down at the sonic in her hand and saw a bunch of symbols. “I have no idea what any of that means,” he said, not taking it from her hands.

The Doctor sighed and put it back in her pocket. “It says you’re fine. No lasting damage.”

“Yeah, if there WERE damage, Graham, it would have shown up on the Doctor’s sonic. She linked us to it, remember?”

“Then how come it didn’t go off when my lungs started filling up with fire?” he asked Ryan defiantly. 

“I scanned the kitchen’s air levels-- everything is back to normal,” she said.. “Well, more or less…”

That caught both Ryan and Graham’s attention. “More or less?” Ryan asked. 

“You trust me, don’t you?” the Doctor challenged.

Before Graham could answer, Ryan interrupted. “Is the food safe to eat?”

“Yes,” the Doctor answered.

“How is the food safe, but if we were to enter the kitchen, it would mean sudden death?” Graham asked, genuinely curious.

The Doctor ignored the question. “Anyway, the entire bottom level of the flat is sterilized. No chance of any pathogen surviving. In fact, I think it’ll be a good long while before any virus is even capable of attaching itself on those surfaces.” she said victoriously.

“You’re not helping my confidence in the whole ‘it’s safe to breathe’ thing,” Graham retorted.

“And I found this!” the Doctor smiled as she took a glass cup out of her pocket. Inside the cup was a spider. Graham and Ryan peered at it closely, trying to figure out what they were supposed to be impressed by. They looked at each other inquisitively.

“Is that a spider?” Ryan finally asked. 

“I found her!” the Doctor said proudly. “Don’t worry-- I already checked. Doesn’t have any trace of mutation like the last spider Graham found here, unfortunately.”

“Unfortunately?” Ryan asked. He knew she was itching for some sort of an adventure-- with her life, how could she not? But the idea of facing another spider the size of a St. Bernard made his skin crawl.

“I couldn’t just let her die in the explosion. I thought I’d keep her as a pet on the TARDIS. Imagine me-- with a pet!” she peered back at the glass she was holding, lovingly. “My own pet spider… Poor lass. Can you imagine? The majority of the world’s spiders are born and live outside. It’s what their biological instincts tell them to do. It’s all they know. Plenty of fresh food sources outside. And water.” The Doctor shrugged her shoulders, the enormity of the thought running over her. “It probably takes a lot of courage to set up shop in man-made quarters. So artificial. No plants to hide in. No familiar surroundings. This is a brave spider. I named her Bill.” 

“Why?” asked Ryan.

“No reason,” the Doctor lied. “I just always liked that name,” she said, watching the spider intently.

Graham whispered to Ryan. “I think being quarantined is going to be too much for her.”

“Oh!” she shouted, her enthusiasm back. “I started sanitizing the upstairs! The bathroom was surprisingly clean already. Kudos to you. Two boys, living on their own-- I was actually nervous to walk in there, but I must say, I’m impressed.” She looked back at the spider.

Ryan smiled and laughed nervously. “Yeah, well, we try to keep it clean…”

Graham chimed in. “Very important, a sanitized bathroom…” he fibbed.

The Doctor smiled back at them and then led the way out the door with her new pet. 

Before following the Doctor, Graham leaned over to Ryan. “Nice job,” he whispered as they fist-bumped. 

“Yeah, we got lucky with that…” Ryan agreed. Then they headed downstairs.

____________________________________________________________________________

Ryan opened the kitchen cabinet, eyes skimming over the food. 

“If you say there’s nothing to eat for the thousandth time, I will feed you to that spider,” Graham scolded as he sat at the kitchen table. The Doctor leaned against the cabinets, still watching her new pet. 

Ryan closed the cabinet doors. “We WERE supposed to go get some groceries,” he reminded Graham. “We said so, on our way to the TARDIS this morning.”

“Oh you’re right,” Graham conceded. “We weren’t planning on being back for a few days. We did let our cupboards get a little bare I suppose.” 

“I saw you were low on food,” The Doctor added, still not taking her eyes off the spider. “Thought perhaps humans just stopped eating as much. Didn’t really make any sense to me, but I was distracted…”

“By the explosion you caused in my kitchen!” Graham reprimanded.

“Are you STILL going on about that?!” the Doctor asked, finally breaking her attention away from the creature in the glass.

Ryan already had his keys in his hand. “Where’s the list, Graham?”

“It’s by the sofa-- hold on, I’ll get it,” Graham answered, standing up from the kitchen chair.

“What are you doing?” the Doctor asked worriedly, standing upright. 

“I’m just going to pop to the grocery’s real quick. Get a few things.” Ryan answered.

Graham emerged back from the living room. “Remember,” he told Ryan, “stay…”

“6 feet apart. I know…” he answered his grandfather, almost mockingly. “I’ll be so anti-social, you’ll be proud.”

Graham smiled. “That’s what I like to hear.”

Ryan attempted to leave the kitchen, but was stopped by the Doctor moving into his path. 

“You can’t leave. There’s a quarantine,” she said protectively.

“It’s all right, Doc--” Graham explained. “You can still do essential travel. To and from the grocery. Medical appointments. Even to get out and stretch a little-- that’s how come we were able to walk to the TARDIS this morning without getting a fine.”

“This virus doesn’t care WHY you’re out,” the Doctor started. “This virus doesn’t care about anything at all. It’s only instinct is to replicate, and it needs you-- your body-- in order to do that,” the Doctor explained with emphasis. “Think of it as a tiny cyberman whose only job is to get inside of you and replace your DNA with its own.”

Ryan scrunched his face in disgust. 

“We got to eat, though, right?” Graham countered. “Be smart-- practice social distancing-- in and out if you have to make a dash to the store. He won’t touch his face. I’ll make sure Ryan carries sanitizer with him and washes his hands when he gets home. We’ll even burn his clothes if it makes you happy.”

“Hey! I can’t take two fires in my home the same day,” Ryan protested. “Besides, I like this shirt.”

“It wasn’t a fire!” the Doctor defended.

“Then why was there smoke?” Ryan asked, genuinely. 

“I’ll go,” the Doctor said as she snatched the grocery list from Ryan’s hands.

Ryan and Graham looked at each other hesitantly. “You’re going to leave?” Ryan asked.

The Doctor shrugged. “It’s the logical solution. You need to eat and I’m not human. I can’t catch this virus, nor can I transmit it.”

“You don’t know where the grocery store is,” Graham reminded her.

“I have GPS!” she bantered back. 

“Yeah but, Doc-- have you ever been to a grocery before?” Graham asked.

“Yes!” She defended. “A while ago…” she said with less vigor.

“By YOURSELF?” he asked again.

The Doctor shifted uncomfortably. “... A few times…” she finally answered.

“In THIS century?” Graham replied.

“I am THOUSANDS of years old, Graham. I don’t need a babysitter,” she countered.

“Really? Because I left you in the kitchen for 20 minutes, and we almost didn’t have a flat…”

“Ryan,” she turned to the young man and spoke with authority. “You’re in charge of Bill. Make sure nothing happens to her while I’m gone.” She pivoted so she could have both Graham and Ryan in her view. “You boys-- stay inside. Do NOT come after me. I will call you if I have any questions, but this is the point of me being here.” She eyed them wearily and her voice softened. “To keep you safe.”

Ryan and Graham looked down and nodded. They knew she had their best interest at heart. Graham was still worried, though-- having her out there all on her own. It’s funny-- he knew she was older than he could imagine, and he had seen her save more worlds than he could count. But still, at times HE felt protective of HER. He almost felt like a father watching his little girl go off to school for the first time. 

“Just… don’t catch the grocery on fire,” he added as the Doctor was heading out the door. 

“It wasn’t a fire!” she chided.

“Then why was there smoke?!” Ryan reiterated his earlier comment. 

The Doctor once again refused to answer his question and gave him a sarcastic look before leaving.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3-- Still Friday

Chapter 3-- still Friday

The Doctor walked slowly up the hill from Graham and Ryan’s home toward where she typically landed the TARDIS, fidgeting with her phone as she strolled.

“Where IS the nearest grocery…” she asked herself out loud. Her eyes became wide as the possibilities showed up on her GPS. “18 results?! How is one to choose?” She scrunched up her face, perplexed. Surely there was one within walking distance. She could have taken the TARDIS and shopped anywhere, but with her luck she feared the TARDIS wouldn’t be cooperative. It had a tendency to show up in the wrong day, place, or even time period. It’s not that she couldn’t control the TARDIS, she told herself-- but the TARDIS had a mind of its own, and this time she couldn’t risk it. 

Her gaze shifted to Yaz’s apartment complex as she passed it by. She stopped, taking in the view. “I wonder how Yaz is holding up,” she wondered audibly. Her eyes became wide again. “I could check!” she exclaimed. “Quick stop between friends. In and out. Nothing wrong with that! Probably...” She frowned. “Might need a cover story for the others… but I can solve that problem on the way.” She shrugged aside her concerns and ascended the stairs. 

After three knocks Yaz’s sister opened the door. The Doctor smiled. “Hello! I’m the Doctor. I’m a friend of Yaz’s.”

Sonja looked at her hesitantly. “I know. We’ve met. Giant spiders... My sister almost got eaten...”

“So you remember then?!” she smiled brighter, amping up her charm. “You have a good memory, like Yaz. Is she in by chance?” she asked.

Yaz’s father, Hakim, peered out over the corner. “It’s the Doctor!” he exclaimed, happily. 

The Doctor smiled warmly. “Hello, Yaz’s dad!”

“I love the Doctor! Welcome!” Hakim beckoned her inside with a wave.

“Dad,” Sonja chided, “there’s a quarantine!” 

“Not for the Doctor, surely!” he countered graciously. 

Yaz appeared in the doorway as well. She was out of breath, as if she had come out in a hurry. “Doctor!” she shouted as she approached the threshold. Reaching the Doctor, she lowered her voice. “What are you doing here?”

“Was in the area-- thought I’d stop by, seeing as how I’m a doctor and all,” she said loudly enough for everyone to hear. She smiled proudly at her cover story. “Check in on you and your fam!”

“Well that was very nice,” Hakim stated sincerely.

“We’re fine.” Yaz said quickly. “Thanks for checking in! I know you’re really busy…”

“Who’s that at the door?” Yaz’s mother, Najia, asked, curious as to why her entire family was gathered. 

“It’s the Doctor,” Sonja said pointedly, unimpressed. 

Yaz’s eyes closed in defeat. The Doctor pretended not to notice. “Hello, Najia!” she stated cheerfully. “You may not remember me…”

“I remember you,” Najia interrupted coldly. The abrupt comment caused a palpable quiet. The Doctor’s smile started to fade.

“Well, don’t just stand there,” Hakim broke the silence. “Come in!” he said warmly.

“Dad!” Sonja protested. “You don’t know what type of germs she’s carrying!” 

“Don’t be rude to our guest! The Doctor came all this way to check on our health-- how many people can say they have a home visit from a doctor these days?! Besides, being a doctor, I’m sure she’s taken all of the necessary precautions.” he scolded. He turned back to the Doctor and smiled. “Please,” he said with a friendly grin and a welcoming wave to beckon her inside.   
Yaz stepped aside in consignment. The Doctor’s smile returned as she walked into the flat.

“Are you staying for dinner?” he asked as Sonja closed the door behind her. 

She started to say “Dinner would be lovely,” but was cut off by Yaz’s simultaneous response.

“She can’t!” Yaz said, a little too hastily. Everyone turned to face her. Yaz tried to cover up her nervousness and remain composed. “It’s just… the Doctor’s really busy. Her time is very valuable.”

The Doctor shrugged. “Actually, I don’t have much to do at the moment.” She turned to Hakim. “And I am starved. The flat I’m staying at right now doesn’t have much in the way of consumables.”

“Why can’t she just say food like everybody else,” Sonja asked her mom harshly.

“Sonja!” Yaz scolded her sister firmly, both embarrassed and confused by how rude she was being to her friend.

“What? People barely have enough for themselves these days at is it. And a quarantine means no visitors-- Mum, are you really going to let her stay?” Sonja looked at her mother for validation. 

Silence once again fell upon the household. Najia hadn’t taken her eyes off the Doctor since she stepped inside, and the Doctor was aware. Not much unnerved the Doctor, but she could feel Najia’s stare upon her. She fought the urge to look away. 

“She can stay,” Najia finally stated. Sonja groaned in protest. Yaz sighed, but even she didn’t know if it was a sigh of relief or stress. Najia forced a smile of her own. “It’ll give us a chance to get to know the Doctor a little better.”

Definitely stress, Yaz thought to herself.

“There we go!” Hakim declared delightfully. “I’ll start making the food!” 

“Isn’t today bad enough?!” Sonja grumbled in response to her father.

The Doctor took a moment to recover herself. She forced a broad smile on her face again. “A little more intense than I anticipated, but nothing I haven’t dealt with before”, she thought. “ I WILL win over this family,” she told herself.. Now she had a mission. Missions were good-- she was EXCELLENT with missions.

Yaz pulled the Doctor into the living room, trying to get her out of earshot. Her mother watched them from a distance. “Sorry about that, Doctor.” Yaz folded her arms and tried to explain. “It’s just… Mum and Sonja… well, they’re…”

“No need to explain,” the Doctor smiled and squeezed her elbow supportively. “Besides-- I’m brilliant with parents! By the end of tonight, they’ll want to adopt ME, putting aside the fact that I’m older than their earliest known ancestor,” she said, her enthusiasm peaking once more. She tried to boost her own confidence in that statement by thinking of a time when one of her campanion’s parents did approve of her immediately, but she couldn’t recall. Must have a lapse in my memory, she willed herself to believe. 

“It’s not that,” Yaz confided. “The reason my mom wants you here is to interrogate you. About us. About our life.”

“Oh, I’m not worried,” the Doctor countered, actually confident this time. “I’m even more brilliant at dodging questions.”

“THAT I know…” Yaz said quietly as she looked down in thought. 

The Doctor paused, realizing Yaz struggled. The Doctor knew her secrets were a sore subject with Yaz, and she felt guilty over it. She wanted to say something comforting to her young friend-- something to reassure her. Instead she just watched. “When it comes to emotions,” she thought, “I still don’t have the right words…”  
____________________________________________________________________________  
*************************************************************************************************************

The Doctor passed the time making small talk with Hakim in the kitchen while Yaz’s mom stood in the living room watching nearby. Yaz tried to distract her mom from the Doctor by sharing stories about the precautions police officers had to take now that there was an actual pandemic.

“You’re awfully chatty tonight,” her mom commented, seeing through Yaz’s attempts to divert. 

Yaz smiled nervously. “I’m always chatty,” she answered.

“No you’re not. Not anymore. Not since…” Her gaze shifted back to the Doctor. 

Yaz had fought hard the last couple of years to not have this conversation, and she didn’t want to get into it now. She knew she had kept secrets from her family, and big ones-- but they weren’t her secrets to share. If they knew all the dangers she faced, they’d be even more worried than they were when she went off for her usual shift for work. She couldn’t do that to them. She couldn’t live with the guilt of their emotions like that. And that meant if they ever found out what her life was really like, she would have to think long and hard about her continuing to travel with the Doctor. Is this how the Doctor feels, she wondered. Is this why she doesn’t say anything real about her life to us?

“Food is ready!” Hakim announced, breaking Yaz out of her thoughts. The family sat down at their table, making room for the Doctor in between Yaz and Hakim.

“This smells delicious!” the Doctor said eagerly. She turned to her friend. “Yaz-- I made malai kofta! I learned how to SAY malai kofta! Lovely word- I think I’ll say it more often!” she stated proudly. Yaz smiled at her enthusiasm. 

“So Doctor,” Najia began, taking her spoon in her hand. “Where are you from?” Yaz could feel her chest begin to tighten. She had to remind herself to breathe.

The Doctor took the question in stride. “That’s a hard one to answer,” she said, dishing some malai kofta onto her plate. “I’ve spent a good chunk of my life traveling. Egypt. Greece. Italy. Tazmania. America, just to name a few. Basically, I just go wherever I’m needed.”

Hakim, as laid back as ever, tried to engage everyone in conversation. “Yaz, ready for your shift tomorrow?”

“I meant where did you grow up?” Najia interrupted, not willing to miss out on this opportunity. 

The Doctor shrugged. “In all honesty, I’m not sure I did,” she said jokingly. Sonja laughed, and the Doctor hoped that was a sign that she could eventually win her affections.

“You have a northern accent, though,” Najia continued. 

“Mum, this isn’t an interrogation…” Yaz pleaded. Hakim was also beginning to shift uncomfortably in his seat.

The Doctor tried to maintain her smile. “I have spent a fair amount of time in the north,” she explained.

Najia shook her head in disbelief. “Was that an answer?” she asked unimpressed. The Doctor’s smile started to fade as Najia continued. “How old are you?” she asked bluntly.

“Well that’s a little personal, don’t you think?” Hakim asked his wife, trying to broker the peace. 

“What are you a Doctor of exactly?” Najia continued, undeterred. 

“Mum...” Yaz plead quietly again. Sonja sat quietly, listening. 

“How did you meet my daughter?” 

“You know that’s confidential,” Yaz defended. “We met on the job, we can’t talk about the circumstances.” 

Najia didn’t care. “Why can’t you give me a straightforward answer?” she asked the Doctor. “Ever since that incident at the hotel, Yaz has been so secretive. Lying to her parents-- lying to her sister. Missing out on family gatherings. Being shipped off to who knows where on all these missions for ‘work’. Once even being classified as a terrorist!”

“You know I was undercover.” Yaz explained. “It’s not the Doctor’s fault.”

Emotion escaped from Najia’s voice. “All of it started the moment she met you. So tell me, Doctor-- and tell me honestly.” The Doctor braced herself for the question-- the question that all parents asked. It was inevitable. She held her breath. Najia paused, wondering if she actually wanted to know the answer. She finally spoke. “Is she safe?”

There was quiet in the home again. Hakim and Sonja’s gaze also slowly shifted toward the Doctor. 

Yaz felt helpless. The Doctor didn’t deserve this rudeness from anyone. If they only knew who she was and what she had done for the world! But her mother didn’t deserve the secrets she was keeping from her, either. There was no way to reconcile this situation, but she would try. “Mum, I’m a police officer. I’m never going to be completely safe, you know that,” Yaz commented.

“It’s all right, Yaz,” The Doctor stopped her calmly. “It’s a parent’s job to worry.” The Doctor looked down at her plate, trying to choose her words carefully. Finally she looked up to match Najia’s intense gaze. “When I’m out in the field, your daughter is my top priority,” she emphasized. “NOTHING is more important to me than her. I protect her first, always-- with my life. You have my word on that.”

“I believe you,” Najia said without hesitating, surprising even herself. She didn’t know why she trusted the Doctor on her word-- especially after all her daughter had kept from her-- but she did. She leaned in toward the Doctor once more. “But is she SAFE?”

The Doctor froze, unsure of what to say. This is why no parent ever truly accepted her, she thought. And they were right not to. The Doctor looked down again in defeat, unable to give the reassurance Yaz’s parents would need.

Yaz’s heart went out to her friend. There was, again, no good answer-- “Mum,” she finally said calmly. “With all the things I’ve seen out there, no one’s ever really safe.” she began. “But we’re SAFEST when the Doctor’s around. Trust me. I’m safer BECAUSE of her presence, not in spite of it. We’re lucky to have her. And I’m not talking about just my team-- all of us-- here-- in this room, right now.” She turned to the Doctor and smiled. “I’m really glad she stopped by to check in on our family,” she said. The guilt on the Doctor’s face began to diminish and she smiled gratefully. Yaz believed she even looked touched. She turned back to face her family. “If anyone’s going to get us through this crisis, it’s her.”

There was a quiet again. Najia’s gaze continued on the Doctor, considering. Finally, it softened. “Pass the malai kofta, will you?” she asked. The Doctor’s smile returned. And with it, her bubbly personality.

___________________________________________________________________________  
*************************************************************************************************************

20 minutes passed less intensely-- Hakim going on about some of his conspiracy theories, and Sonja trying to convince her mother to buy her cosmetics from some new beauty care line she couldn’t live without.

“Speaking of which!” the Doctor called out, charismatically. Yaz watched as she took out familiar looking black strips from her pocket. The Doctor stood up. “I picked these up the last time I was in Egypt,” she lied. “All the rage, as they say. Just place them on your forehead-- It’s supposed to unclog your pores. Also relieves the tension headache you may get from stress. These are stressful times.” The Doctor circled the table, passing one out to Najia, Hakim, and Sonja. 

“Mom’s really into homeo-pathic stress relief,” Sonja explained. “She’s always looking for ways to ease the stress that comes with having Yaz as a daughter,” she teased looking at her sister.  
Yaz stuck her tongue out in response. A bit childish, she thought, but happy that the mood was lighter. 

Hakim chuckled, holding the strip in his hand. “Beauty care AND stress relief-- you speak both Sonja and Najia’s language!” he announced. “You can come back anytime!” Yaz smiled at everyone’s ease. It was interesting that the Doctor chose both approaches to introduce the strips to her family, she thought. Sonja was obvious-- always talking about her beauty products, but her mom never mentioned her interests. She wondered briefly if the Doctor somehow knew.

“Yaz already tried it this morning,” the Doctor explained, bringing Yaz back out of her thoughts. The Doctor looked at her beseechingly. 

It took Yaz a moment to understand the hint. “Oh yeah, my pores never felt so… open!” she tried. Her family put the strips on their foreheads. 

“Kind of burns,” Sonja said. 

“It’s supposed to burn,” Yaz explained. “It’s activating the… pore muscles…” Yaz stated awkwardly. The Doctor gave her a look to stop trying.

“Pore muscles? Is that a thing?” Sonja asked curiously.

“Could be,” the Doctor assured, not missing a beat. “The tingling should stop in a minute, and you’ll feel loads better off for it.” She turned to Hakim. “You know what we should do after dinner?! Charades!” she smiled broadly. “Never played Charades before! I wonder if I’d be good at Charades?!” she asked herself out loud. 

Yaz knew the Doctor was trying to keep her family busy so they didn’t wash off the nanobot technology. “That would be fun!” she agreed. “And since we have a guest, we should all play together and wait until she leaves to clear off the table. Wouldn’t want to be rude, now, would we, Dad?” 

Hakim was in heaven. “I have been trying to get my girls to play a family game with me for YEARS!” he beamed happily. “Doctor, you’re a miracle worker.” 

The Doctor beamed back. She sat back down at her spot on the table. She took up her fork, about to finish her food when she stopped and frowned. “Anyone here have plans to eat banana pudding?” she asked shyly. Yaz’s family peered at her questioningly. The Doctor smiled nervously. “Never mind.” she said. She turned toward Yaz, about to mutter something to her, but she didn’t have to. 

“I’m on it…” Yaz whispered assuringly. Her family was just starting to warm up to the Doctor, and something told her there would definitely be questions if Yaz ignored the earlier “no fingers in banana pudding for 3 days” warning.

“Wait…” Sonja said, thinking. “This morning? You saw Yaz this morning?”

The Doctor and Yaz froze. While she never flat out said, Yaz insinuated she didn’t know the Doctor was in town. Now they were caught in their lie. 

“The Doctor is staying with Graham and Ryan,” she covered. “I passed by them on my walk briefly.”

“I knew it…” Sonja said with a knowing smile. “I KNEW you had a secret boyfriend.”

“You have a secret boyfriend?!” The Doctor asked, instantly intrigued.

“She means Ryan,” Yaz explained. The Doctor looked deflated, as if she were looking forward to the gossip.

Sonja continued. “All these ‘walks’ you were taking? I knew you were going over there. You don’t just grab a pore strip as you walk by a friend you haven’t seen in months. You went to their flat, didn’t you?” she teased.

“It’s none of your business!” Yaz retorted. “And he’s not my boyfriend.”

Sonja turned toward her parents. “Since Yaz broke the quarantine, can we have her arrested?” She turned back toward Yaz. “Bet that wouldn’t look good on your fancy CV, now would it?” 

Yaz threw her napkin at her sister in protest and the Doctor genuinely smiled. THIS is what it’s all about, she thought to herself. The every-day commonplace yet brilliant moments that created deep rooted, enduring memories. THIS is the life that matters. 

___________________________________________________________________________  
*************************************************************************************************************

The dinner conversation lasted longer than they had anticipated, so the Doctor left right after it was over. The Doctor didn’t protest-- she really only needed to keep them busy until the strips did their job-- although she was slightly disappointed she had yet to play this “Charades” game she was always hearing about.

“Next time,” Hakim promised. “You come over again, and you and I will wipe the floor off with these three!”

The Doctor smiled warmly and Yaz wondered exactly what it would be like to play Charades with a time traveler. If the word was “exercise”, would the Doctor mime a workout that hadn’t been invented yet?

Yaz took the Doctor aside as Hakim packed up some leftover food for her friend to take home. “Thank you, Doctor,” she said genuinely.

“For what?” the Doctor asked.

Yaz shrugged. “For coming by. For looking out for my family and linking them to your sonic. Are they all right?” she asked.

The Doctor took out her sonic quietly and scanned the three family members standing nearby. She looked at the results. “All negative for now,” she said. “And we will keep them that way,” she assured Yaz.

Yaz smiled gratefully. “I know I wasn’t the most gracious host tonight,” she started. 

“Oh, I don’t mind,” the Doctor tried to wave it off.

“You should mind.” Yaz stopped her. “I’m sorry. I was just… so scared.”

The Doctor smiled sympathetically. “These are scary times,” she said. “But fear cannot sustain itself. Not forever. Not even for long. When you face the problem, solutions appear.” She looked back at Yaz’s family. “Tonight was proof of that,” she said with a knowing smile. 

____________________________________________________________________________  
*************************************************************************************************************

The entire family gathered to bid her goodbye at the door. “Do come back, Doctor,” Hakim said warmly. “When you’re here, we see a different side of Yaz.”

“Yeah, she’s almost human,” Sonja teased. Yaz nudged her jokingly with her elbow. 

“There’s a lot of humanity inside that one,” the Doctor replied. “All the best parts of it. You should be proud, as am I.” Yaz’s face flushed at the praise.

“Next time you come, bring some more of those cosmetics from Egypt,” Sonja requested. She touched her forehead. “My pores really do feel cleansed.” Yaz smiled, knowing it was just the power of suggestion. The Doctor smiled, feeling that she was actually wanted. 

“Next time you come,” Najia spoke, “I promise to be nicer to you.”

“I hope you won’t,” the Doctor replied, understanding as one parent to another. “I understand the need to protect Yaz. I imagine she got a lot of her humanity from you,” she complimented Najia genuinely. “Besides-- someone has to keep me on my toes!” she finished light-heartedly.

“Wait!” Hakim shouted. “I almost forgot the leftovers!” He went back into the kitchen to grab the food he had set aside for her.

Something suddenly bothered the Doctor. What is it, she thought. Her eyes became wide. “FOOD!” she shouted. “I got distracted! Do grocery stores close at night in this century?” she asked urgently. Najia and Sonja looked at her perplexed. The Doctor smiled nervously. “That sounded a lot more normal in my head,” she explained. She turned and left toward the stairs before anyone could ask further questions.

“She’s so weird,” Sonja commented, watching her leave.

Hakim appeared with the leftovers. “Has she gone already?” he asked.

“Don’t worry,” Sonja said with a smile. “Yaz can always take it to her when she goes to visit her boyfriend.”

“Would you stop?!” Yaz bickered, as they walked in the flat and closed the door.

______________________________________________________________________  
*****************************************************************************************************

It was late before the Doctor returned. Ryan and Graham had already gone to sleep. It was a warm night, so the Doctor stood at the threshold to the patio with the door open. She could see other flats-- some with lights on, some dark. She could see decorations on some of the windows. She wondered about the people who lived there. Were they families? Friends who lived together? Were there single people, wondering how they were going to make ends meet during this trying time? Were there kids who had no idea of the mess that was going on around them? 

“I know it’s not the best view,” Graham apologized. “It’s no Buckingham Palace or whatnot.”

“It is to me,” the Doctor answered, still taking it all in before she looked back at Graham. “I thought you were in bed.” 

“Well I was, but I heard you come in. Seeing as how you were gone for a while....” he let his sentence hang.

“I didn’t set anything on fire,” the Doctor joked.

Graham smiled. “All kidding aside, Doc-- I just wanted to check in-- you know-- see how you’re doing. Can’t help from worrying about my friend, now, can I?”

“You don’t have to worry about me,” the Doctor said, once again turning to look at the vast number of homes. 

There was another silence. Graham looked down, flustered. “Look, I know this isn’t your cup of tea, and I can’t offer you anything like you have offered us these past couple of years. I mean, ALL of time and space, and adventure!” He wrinkled his hands in embarrassment. “All I can offer you is a common house spider to look at. But we appreciate you looking out for us, Doc. I know it’s not much, but-- know that you once again have our sincere gratitude.”

The Doctor furrowed her eyes. She turned toward Graham. “You think this is below me?” she asked. “I CHOSE to come here.”

“Yeah, but for us,” Graham responded.

The Doctor shook her head. “Not just here in your flat,” she emphasized. “I ran away from my own people and EACH TIME I ran to Earth. To you lot.” Graham looked at her, puzzled. The Doctor became animated. “I’ve met hundreds of species--most of them brilliant-- but most of them more or less the same. Some share a hive mind. Others have been bred over millennia to think or act a certain way. Each species-- each culture-- does that to an extent. Time Lords are no exception, and neither are humans. Yet at the same time-- humans?!” She turned back to the view of the flats. “Two people can grow up in the same house, share the same DNA, and have almost the same life. They can even live through the same trauma. Some will take that pain and want to burn the world. Others will hold onto that pain and only look after themselves-- deciding that not being hurt again is what matters. And many-- so many-- will have that pain soak into their very souls, and yet somehow it makes them kind.” She turned back toward Graham. “I have been studying your people for ages, and I still don’t understand what makes you tick. The fact that you can’t see what makes you special furthers the enigma. Over 2000 years and all of time and space-- you are unique in a way I have never experienced, and loved more than you can possibly imagine-- and, for that reason, under my favored protection. So you don’t have to worry about me, Graham. I’m not bored.” 

Graham let that sink in for a moment. “You are bored, though…” he said, half serious and half lightening the mood.

The Doctor looked down, smiling to herself. “Maybe a little,” she admitted. She looked back at Graham. “But I’m not hating it.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4, Saturday

Chapter 4-- Saturday

Something beckoned Graham and Ryan out of their rooms earlier than they were anticipating for a Saturday. They turned to each other in confusion.

“What’s that smell?” Ryan asked his grandfather as they met at the top of the stairs.

“That wonderful, wonderful smell!” Graham added. 

They followed their noses to the kitchen where they saw a meal spread across the entire table. Ryan marveled at the copious amount of food that laid before him-- sausage, bacon, fried eggs, hash browns, toast, scones, black pudding, grilled tomatoes, baked beans, and toasted teacakes. Leaning against the cabinets, waiting, was the Doctor. She smiled as they came into her field of vision. 

“Morning, boys!” she welcomed them enthusiastically. She gestured toward the table. “Sit!”

“YOU made THIS?” Ryan asked in disbelief. 

The Doctor frowned. “Are you insinuating I can’t cook?” she asked him.

Ryan struggled for words, trying not to be offensive. “I’m… just saying... “ He paused, still struggling. The Doctor raised her eyebrows in anticipation. 

“You have many talents, Doc-- we just haven’t seen you use this particular talent before now,” Graham helped as he sat down to eat.

“What he said,” Ryan answered, pointing to Graham. The Doctor nodded her head sarcastically as Ryan sat down. 

“Blimey, Doc-- how many people do you think live here? It’s just Ryan and me…” he noted, gesturing toward the obscene amount of food. 

The Doctor shrugged. “Ryan’s a growing boy. I heard growing boys eat a lot,” she said.

Ryan frowned. The Doctor had lived for so long that sometimes she thought of everyone else as a child. “I’m not growing. I’m 21…” he explained. 

The Doctor gave him a look of disbelief. “Every human is growing, one way or another. She turned around to face the counter again and grabbed the glass with her pet spider. “Some grow taller, some older. Some grow wiser. Some grow into writers, or astronauts, or even into cyborgs.” The Doctor made a disgusted face and turned to Ryan and Graham to explain. “Very few of you, the cyborgs-- let’s not get into those details. But you all grow, and you all need to eat in order to do so.”

Graham dug right in, but Ryan studied the Doctor and the spider. He turned to his grandfather. “Why do you suppose she keeps staring at that thing?” he whispered.

Graham looked up and watched the Doctor inspect her pet intensely. He turned back toward Ryan. “I think... she’s trying to learn how to speak spider…” 

Ryan let out a snort, yet he knew Graham was serious. The more he thought about it, knowing the Doctor, it would actually make sense. “I thought you said you were going to keep that thing on the TARDIS,” he called out to her, forcing her to break her gaze with the glass.

“She’d get lonely without us! And she’s not a ‘thing’, Ryan-- she's a living, breathing miracle with a name and a life story.” The Doctor preached. 

“She’s a spider who crawled inside my flat,” Graham stated.

The Doctor turned back to the spider. “Plus, I think we’re finally starting to bond. That’s good, isn’t it?! A good sign-- the first 72 hours are important for bonding with a pet, so I hear. I feel bad I spent so much of it away.” 

“About that, ‘away’ where exactly?” Graham asked.

Ignoring Graham, she turned to Ryan. “Did she give you any trouble while you were babysitting?” she asked.

“Oh yeah,” Ryan joked sarcastically. “So much mouth, that one…”

The Doctor frowned. “I wonder why she doesn’t talk back to me...” she asked out loud. “Maybe she isn’t quite as comfortable with me as I thought,” she added sadly.

Ryan gave Graham a look that meant “you were right”. He looked at the food on the table again, trying to make sense of it all. “Doctor, how did you carry all this food? Do you have a TARDIS bag or something?” Ryan asked.

“A what?” Graham winced at him in confusion.

“A TARDIS bag,” Ryan answered. “You know-- bigger on the inside?”

The Doctor put Bill’s glass back on the cabinet. “Juggling food as I walk for miles is another one of my talents,” she said nonchalantly. She opened the refrigerator and took out some orange juice. “Right up there with cooking, dematerializing massive amounts of gravitational matter, and playing the accordion.” She placed the orange juice on the table.

Something had been bothering Graham-- something in the back of his mind. A FAMILIAR something. Graham took a bite out of the sausage and stopped. “Hey Doc… this is from the 2nd floor TARDIS kitchen, isn’t it?” he asked.

“No!” The Doctor responded, seemingly offended. Graham gave her a look. She writhed under his glare. “Maybe…” she answered more quietly. 

“So what was all that-- the juggling and the accordion business?” Ryan teased.

“I got distracted!” the Doctor confessed. “By the time I got to the nearest grocery everything had closed. Not very convenient, going shopping during a quarantine at night,” she said in defense of herself. 

“You left when it was light,” Graham reminded her.

“I was DISTRACTED!! Weren’t you listening?!” she bantered.

Graham and Ryan turned back to their food and a few minutes passed by in silence, savoring the moment as well as the taste. The Doctor smiled. She was savoring the moment as well. Here she was with her friends, living an everyday human life, and excelling at it. Sure, it had been less than 24 hours and she had already caused a massive family argument and a miniature explosion, but now she felt she was getting the hang of things, and it thrilled her. Just the three of them together, eating breakfast, without incident-- with her pet spider. Not so bad, she thought. She broke the silence. “Look at the both of you-- my boys. Eating. Me feeding my boys.” She felt nostalgic. “Sort of reminds me of my parenting days,” she thought aloud, before she could stop herself. 

Ryan and Graham froze, wondering if they had heard correctly. 

“Your what?” Graham asked, suddenly very interested.

The Doctor turned toward the cabinets, slightly embarrassed by her slip of words and the emotional surge that came with it. She opened the cabinet and took out two glass cups. She forced her smile to return. “I guess I’ve always considered myself a parent of all humanity,” she said as she handed Ryan and Graham each a glass. Unconvinced, Graham accepted the glass from her hand. “Anyway,” she continued, “Just wanted to make sure you got a proper breakfast before I headed out.”

Ryan poured some orange juice into his glass. “You’re leaving again?!” he asked. “You know, the point of a quarantine is to stay put. You haven’t even made it a day.”

“Yaz has a shift.” the Doctor defended. “You two are safe here, I made sure of that. Don’t open the door to strangers-- or even people you do know, if they’re human. Yaz didn’t tell me what time her shift ended, or even began at that rate, so I don’t know what time I’ll return, BUT…” she stopped and looked at Ryan authoritatively. “If you leave this flat, I will know.” This really is like being a parent, she thought. 

Ryan squirmed under her glare. He had seen this side of the Doctor many times. He wondered how she could always make people feel obliged to follow her orders, no matter who they were or what species she was commanding. “Why are you just looking at me?” he asked, trying to take her attention off of himself. “Why don’t you lecture Graham?” 

The Doctor shrugged. “Graham’s much too lazy to leave the flat when he doesn’t have to,” she said bluntly.

“Oi, thanks!” Graham responded, almost choking on his bacon. “Laziness has got nothing to do with it-- I’ll have you know, the older you get the more you realize that there’s nothing out there that can give you more satisfaction than what’s in front of your own nose. It’s a sign of WISDOM-- not laziness.” 

The Doctor shrugged again. “I’m older than you. It’s never been that way for me.”

Graham leaned in toward the Doctor. “So you’re telling me you’re not itching to get back on that TARDIS?” he asked her in disbelief. Ryan’s gaze scrutinized her as well.

The Doctor thought about how to respond, and realized it was better not to. “Anyway,” she recovered. “I could be late. If not, I’ll try to make it to the grocery before they close.”

“I think we’re good on food, thanks,” Ryan replied. “Just make Graham watch the spider this time. She gives me the creeps.”

“You said SHE!” the Doctor smiled proudly. “Looks like you two started a bond as well!”

“I want to bond her with a brick or the bottom of my shoe,” Ryan whispered, shuddering. 

“I think I’ll actually be taking her with me this time,” The Doctor noted, once again studying the spider. “And not only because of the comment you just made, which yes, I could hear. I think we’re on the brink of a pivotal connection.” She grabbed Bill’s glass and placed it in her pocket.

“She thinks you’re too lazy to babysit,” Ryan told Graham jokingly. 

Graham ignored his grandson’s jab. “You look out for Yaz, Doc, but also--look after yourself. Be safe. You don’t know what kind of trouble will find you out there. People are desperate, and ‘desperate’ tends to bring out the worst in them.” 

The Doctor smiled appreciatively, feeling his care. “Curing desperation is my specialty,” she remarked.

“And don’t come back with a friend for Bill,” Ryan warned. “You get ONE pet.”

The Doctor grumbled like a teenager. “But I let Graham keep you!” she murmured jokingly.

“And one of him is all I could take,” Graham retorted in agreement with Ryan.

The Doctor wrinkled her nose in thought. “Good point,” she joked.

Ryan smiled. “It’s because-- how did you put it-- the wisdom from your many years has shown you how unique I am-- couldn’t find another one of me if you tried.”

The Doctor rolled her eyes, but was loving every moment of their conversation. Still, she had a job to do, she reminded herself. Two of the most important people in her life were safe; one to go. Unwilling to let Ryan have the last word, she announced “I’m leaving,” and she headed out the door.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5: Yaz

Disclaimer: Forgive me-- I know nothing about actual police work. Or living in Britain lol. I’m sure I have almost everything wrong. I just write for fun, to pass the time, and to distract myself from the absolute exhaustion and terror that comes with being in the 3rd trimester with your first child lol. 

Chapter 5

The Doctor wasn’t sure how much time had passed while she was waiting on Yaz. That was the thing about being a Time Lord: she had a special relationship with time, yet living it chronologically was a skill she had yet to master. She was leaning against the tree by where she typically parked the TARDIS, knowing that Yaz would have to pass it by on her way to work. Perhaps I should have asked what time she was leaving, the Doctor thought. Or where I should meet her. Or even told her that I was GOING to meet her… She was beginning to worry Yaz had left earlier than the Doctor anticipated. She stretched, trying to relieve her boredom. Too many things to keep track of when you try to do it chronologically, she thought to herself.

The sight of Yaz’s door opening brought her attention back to reality. She bolted upright. “Waiting isn't so bad,” she said out loud, instantly forgetting her previous thoughts of monotony. “In fact, I think I’m rather excellent at waiting!” Yaz walked down the stairs to her flat. Her steps slowed as she noticed the Doctor. Approaching her she asked, “What are you doing here?”

The Doctor smiled. “Didn’t want to be late for my first day!” she responded.

Yaz looked confused. “First day?”

“On the job! With my bestie!” she replied, nudging her elbow against Yaz’s.

Yaz’s eyes grew in recognition. “You’re coming with me?”

The Doctor furrowed her eyes. “I thought that’s what we had decided.”

“When?” Yaz asked.

“Yesterday, on the TARDIS.”

Yaz scanned through her memory. She did briefly remember the Doctor saying she would be on the front lines fighting the epidemic, but Yaz didn’t realize she meant it so literally.

Yaz chose her words carefully. “The thing is, Doctor-- at my work there’s protocols. Procedures. Rules you HAVE to follow. And well… following rules, and being under someone else’s authority….”

The Doctor knew where this conversation was headed. “I can follow the rules!” she defended. “If I tried. Which I haven’t before, but who knows-- change of pace might do me some good!” the Doctor said hopefully. She had to make this seem like it was Yaz’s decision. It wasn’t-- she would go regardless. She would do absolutely anything necessary to keep her friend safe, but it would be easier on everyone if Yaz consented. “Do you not want me to come?” she asked, trying to guilt her into conceding. The Doctor felt bad for doing so, but she was desperate. Graham was right, she thought. Desperation did bring out the worst in you. 

Yaz’s gaze softened. “Of course I do,” she said, and she meant it. How many times had she actually wished for this opportunity? To spend the day with the Doctor, just the two of them. It was difficult to put into words what the Doctor meant to her. She was Yaz’s friend, mentor, and family, but it went beyond that. Her journey with the Doctor began by accident, being drifted along unwittingly by malfunctioned technology. At first, Yaz wanted nothing more than to make it home, but then she saw the Doctor in action. She saw her kindness. She saw brilliance. She saw her amazing capacity to understand. She saw her courage, and how she took personal interest in everyone and everything. The Doctor was as genuine as they came, and that inspired her in a way she had never been inspired before. The term “role model” didn’t do it justice-- the Doctor was everything she wanted to be. Yaz hoped she had incorporated some part of that personality into herself over the years. Yet, at the same time this was still the Doctor-- could Yaz fit the Doctor into her every-day, human life? Could she take the Doctor to work? Would it end well if she tried?

“Well then, time we be off!” the Doctor stated enthusiastically. She started walking and Yaz followed her, wondering if the Doctor actually knew where to go.

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They did somehow make it to the station. Yaz was impressed the Doctor knew where the station was. It was only a mile or so from Yaz's home, but they had never talked about directions to her job before. She wondered what else the Doctor knew about her. 

As the Doctor and Yaz approached the parking lot, Yaz grew uneasy. She had told lies to her boss before, but how was she going to explain away a whole other person? She turned to the Doctor. “In order for this to work, we have to get my captain’s approval,” she explained. “He would notice if I brought a civilian for a ride-along during a national emergency.”

“Oh, I’m brilliant with bosses,” the Doctor stated, trying to sound convincing. 

Yaz stared at her for a moment. “You didn’t sound enthusiastic that time…” she mentioned.

“Yeah,” the Doctor confessed uneasily. “Sometimes I can’t even persuade myself…” 

They walked up the stairs and into the station. Yaz took a face mask out of her pocket and put it on. “We have to wear them any time we’re in public,” Yaz explained. “I wish I had another one for you.”

“I don’t need one,” the Doctor disclosed. “This virus only attacks humans, so I’m completely safe,” the Doctor said indiscreetly. 

Yaz looked around nervously. “You can’t say things like that here!” she scolded. “We’re trying to get my boss’ approval for you to stay, not to get you into a psych evaluation.”

The Doctor thought upon that. “You know, it might actually be nice to talk to someone…”

Yaz stopped walking and looked at her friend intently. “You know you can talk to me. Anytime.” Yaz knew she wasn’t a psychiatrist, but she did have crisis training, and she desperately wanted the Doctor to open up to her. 

“Thanks, but I meant for you,” the Doctor remarked.

“What?” Yaz questioned.

“You seem stressed!” 

Yaz gave her a sarcastic look and walked toward the captain’s office. All over the floor of the station were “x”s marked with duct tape exactly 6 feet apart from each other. “That’s where you’re supposed to stand,” Yaz explained to the Doctor, “in order to maintain social distancing while you’re at work.” 

The Doctor nodded in understanding. A sad thought struck her like lightning. “Do we have to stand 6 feet apart from each other?” she asked.

Yaz shrugged. “Probably should, to keep up with appearances.” The Doctor acknowledged the wisdom in that strategy, but it was disappointing, keeping so far away from her friend. To say the Doctor was an extrovert was to put it lightly-- she always had to be bouncing from place to place, experiencing the moment to the fullest-- touching everyone and everything. She hadn’t thought about being so constricted. It might prove to be the biggest challenge yet, she thought. Yaz walked into the captain’s office. The Doctor did as well, keeping a respectable 6 feet behind. 

Yaz’s captain, wearing a face mask himself, looked up from a mountain of papers. “Just like the government for you-- in moments of impending doom, fill out the paperwork first,” he joked. He glanced up at the Doctor. “Who’s this?”

Yaz was about to answer when the Doctor approached the desk, taking her psychic paper out of her pocket. She started to show the captain when she realized she was standing too close to Yaz again. She pivoted a few feet to the right, noticeably. Yaz closed her eyes. Please let him think she is normal… she pleaded silently. The Doctor had to lean across the desk in order to get the psychic paper close enough for the captain to read. “I’m…” she let her introduction hang. 

The captain read the psychic paper. “Public Health England?” he asked questioningly.

“Yes!” the Doctor answered with charm. “You must have gotten the notice that we would be partnering with the police force during this time of crisis,” she lied. The captain looked confused. “No?" She pointed to the stack of paperwork he was filling out. "I’m sure it’s in that pile somewhere. Just like administration, isn’t it? An important policy is always written in small print, hidden under more complex policies.” The Doctor realized she was becoming animated again and forced her hands back to her side. “Well, quick catch up-- it’s a pilot program, still in its early stages. Sheffield has been selected to participate due to its unique demographics.”

“What demographics?” the captain asked.

“You know…” the Doctor struggled for an answer. She lifted up the psychic paper again. “Official ones…” she stated, hoping that answer was enough. She put the psychic paper in her pocket and looked at her friend. “I met Officer Khan outside. Yaz, was it?” Yaz nodded, playing along. “Yaz volunteered to be our first guinea pig, so to speak. A real go-getter, that Yaz!” the Doctor exclaimed, hoping to earn her friend some points with her boss. 

“And what exactly would this program entail?” the captain inquired.

“One doctor being paired with one junior police officer,” the Doctor explained, inventing the cover story as she went along and hoping she sounded convincing. “Public Health England is very concerned with the safety of our country’s first responders. Unfortunately, there aren't enough resources to go around. Senior officers have enough experience to handle situations on their own-- it’s the young, inexperienced ones we wish to train how to handle health emergencies appropriately.”

Yaz tried to not take offense at the cover story. She reminded herself that the Doctor knew she wasn’t some young, inexperienced kid who needed to be watched in order to handle a crisis effectively. The Doctor was laying it on thick in order to convince her captain. Yet, the captain wasn’t exactly arguing over Yaz’s experience, and that was worrisome to her.

As if reading her mind, the captain spoke. “You know Yaz is one of our best recruits-- the best, if you ask me-- though I’ll deny it if word spreads to the others,” he smiled at her. “She’s smart. She does what she’s told. She has good instincts. Normally, I’d pair you with someone I don’t trust as much. But Yaz has taken a lot of time off in the past. She should have finished her probationary period by now.” A pit formed in Yaz’s stomach. She would have opened her mouth to defend herself, but she didn’t know what she would say. The Doctor looked at Yaz with guilt, knowing the cause of her absence. “So I’m going to grant your request,” the captain stated. “Maybe being a part of this program will keep Yaz here, and she can actually get her through her probation and become a formal police officer.” The captain looked at Yaz with a questioning glance. Yaz almost cried at the praise, the relief that came with it, and the desire her captain had to see her succeed. “Yes, sir,” was the only response she could muster. 

“That will be all, Officer Khan,” the captain announced. Yaz nodded and she and the Doctor headed out the door. “Oh, and Doctor?” the captain asked. The Doctor turned back around to face him. The captain opened a drawer to his right and took out a mask. “Wear this,” he stated. “It’s department policy. Also, it's just the wise thing to do.” He glanced at her, wondering how she as a doctor from Public Health wasn’t wearing one already.

The Doctor took the mask happily. “My first policy,” she announced, turning toward her friend. She placed the mask on her face. “Look at me, following the rules!” she boasted proudly. Yaz grabbed her by the arm--a bold move for pandemic times she knew, but a necessity for leading the Doctor out of the way before her captain changed his mind.

Yaz led the Doctor to her desk. The Doctor looked impressed. "They gave you your own work space?! They must trust you a lot!" 

Yaz smiled, knowing what the Doctor was trying to do. It was one of the Doctor's traits that she loved. The Doctor didn't flatter people to get something she wanted. She complimented them to build something THEY need-- faith in themselves. "It's more of a shared area," Yaz explained. "It's for all of the junior officers, but we each made a habit of where we sit, and this spot is mine." 

The Doctor beamed. Yaz couldn't see it because of the face mask, but she could hear it in the Doctor's voice. "Nice to learn some of your habits!" she said. 

"I just want to grab some report forms for the day and then we can go." Yaz reached toward a pile of paperwork of her own and started sorting through it. 

It had only been a few moments, but the Doctor found herself fidgeting. She realized she had to find something to occupy her brain, and fast. "So what does a typical day look like for a junior officer during a world health crisis?" she asked, looking around. 

Yaz chuckled. "I don't know that there is such a thing as a 'typical' day in a crisis, but mostly because I'm a junior officer, I do the jobs no one else wants. Basically, our job today is to patrol the streets and make sure people stay inside. Not a lot of excitement, sorry." She froze with a sudden worry. What if the Doctor found her life too boring, or too menial to want to stick around? What if the Doctor assumed Yaz had a more prominent role in fighting this crisis, and was disappointed with the reality? Yaz desperately wanted to show the Doctor that she made a difference on her own planet, but here she was searching through paperwork at a desk she couldn't even claim was really hers. 

"Wonderful!" the Doctor exclaimed genuinely. "You've been given the most important mission. It's the only way this virus is going to stop. Politicians and medical professionals can only go so far-- the fate of this virus is in the hands of the every-day people. And it's your job to let them know. Keep people educated and you keep them safe. Good thing they have their best officer on their most important assignment! Yasmin Khan, on the front lines-- saving the world." 

Yaz smiled at the praise, but even more importantly she felt the weight of those words. It might sound monotonous-- it might even be. But it really was those little things that would create the biggest impact. No, Yaz wouldn't get some sort of recognition for playing a grand role in ending COVID-19, but she knew she could make a real difference doing the monotonous-- the boring. She stopped sorting through paperwork and watched the Doctor look around the station. The Doctor was proof of that, she thought: the people who make the most impact on the world are the ones least recognized. But they're the ones who change history. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The Doctor gazed outside the window of the squad car as Yaz drove. There was something about being in a police vehicle that always invigorated her, whether she was traveling as a guest in the front, or as a “guest” in the back. Perhaps it reminded her of the TARDIS-- being inside something that was supposed to be a symbol of hope. Or maybe there was another subconscious reason-- she never could quite figure it out. 

The mask on The Doctor’s face disappeared the moment they drove away from the parking lot of the station. Yaz moved the mask from over her face to under her chin. “Don’t lose that, yeah?” she instructed the Doctor. “You’ll need it when we get a call.” She glanced at the clock on the dashboard. “You made it… seven minutes with that thing on,” she observed.

“I know! I think I did fairly well, it being my first procedure I followed and all!” the Doctor beamed proudly. Yaz laughed to herself and shook her head. “Following the rules isn’t as hard as I thought it would be,” the Doctor declared. 

“You do know that captain meant for you to wear that all day?” Yaz asked her friend.

The Doctor’s jaw dropped and she looked at Yaz incredulously. “All day?!” Yaz nodded. The Doctor thought about that for a moment before answering. “Well, no point keeping up pretenses when it’s just the two of us,” she justified. “I’m sure had the captain known, he would have suggested the same. Shouldn’t waste resources when there’s a global crisis going on.” The Doctor smiled giddily. “The Captain. Never had a captain before. Never had a BOSS before. Well, not one I actually listened to, I suppose.”

Yaz grinned again, enjoying the moment with just her and the Doctor. But then the moment spanned into many moments, all of them silent. Yaz glanced over to the Doctor, who was still looking out the window. Was she bored, Yaz wondered? What did one say by way of small talk to someone like the Doctor?! Yaz hoped that this would be a bonding moment for them, but now that she had the Doctor in the seat next to her without all the running and dodging life or death experiences, she didn’t know what to say. She chose the first thought that came to her mind. “I’m assigned a specific radius to patrol. Just keep our eyes open and if we see something that looks amiss, we’ll check it out.” It came out a little more awkward than Yaz was intending, she thought, but at least the silence was filled.

The Doctor nodded in understanding. “If we get a call, could we use the sirens?” she asked.

“Only if it’s urgent,” Yaz answered. The Doctor looked disappointed. 

Another thought struck the Doctor and her enthusiasm peaked. “Could we get donuts?!” she asked. “I hear police officers LOVE donuts.”

“That’s a stereotype!” Yaz explained. “And not always a nice one.” She watched the Doctor sink into her seat again. Yaz was about to give in when she heard a voice on the intercom.

“Unit 975-- there is a report of a 415 in progress. Do you copy?” 

“975-- that’s us,” Yaz explained. The Doctor’s eyes widened in excitement and she smiled even brighter. Yaz took hold of the intercom. “This is Unit 975. I copy, and am happy to assist.” The Doctor stared at the intercom in fascination and Yaz felt like she was on top of the world. Me, fascinating THE DOCTOR, she thought. Not bad for someone without an official desk... 

“What’s a 415?” the Doctor asked. 

“Noise complaint,” Yaz stated, then regretted it. It didn’t sound so intriguing out loud. “They’ll send the official report to my work cell so I can GPS the address.” She handed her phone to the Doctor. “Would you mind?” she asked. The Doctor took the phone happily and skimmed the report. Her excitement dimmed and this time it was Yaz’s heart that sank. So much for being impressive… she thought. 

“This says a group of people have gathered,” the Doctor stated sadly. 

Yaz glanced at the Doctor. She was relieved that the Doctor’s mood didn’t reflect her view of the job, but a bit surprised that she took the report so hard. “Could you input the address?” she asked, trying to bring the Doctor out of her thoughts. The Doctor did, but remained melancholy. “Chin up!” Yaz chided, attempting to lift her spirits once more. “We have our first assignment!”

“You forget, Yaz-- I have seen pandemics before, first hand. I was there in 1918. The Third Cholera Pandemic of 1852. The Black Death. The Antonine Plague. No one-- no civilization or person-- thinks it could happen to them, but then it does. And this is how it spreads, each time.” The Doctor looked mournfully out the window, as if she were reliving those moments now. Yaz wondered if she lost someone she loved to those plagues, or if she were remembering the dead she couldn’t save. “I just hope we aren’t too late,” the Doctor sorrowed. Yaz glanced at the Doctor empathetically, then turned on the sirens.  
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Yaz parked the squad car on the street and examined the address from afar. She counted the number of people who had gathered. The garage was open and the driveway and was full of chairs with people (mostly in their early 20’s) lounging. Loud music filled the air. Yaz could see others coming in and out of the garage and congregating in the yard. “Looks like it might be a graduation party of some sort,” Yaz surmised. 

“How do you figure?” the Doctor asked curiously.

“Partially from their age-- partially because of the colors they’re all wearing. And the music is actually an anthem for a local university. This time of year students would be graduating.” 

The Doctor looked at Yaz, impressed. “Yasmin Khan… Master of Deduction.” 

Yaz smiled nervously and blushed at the recognition. “I could be wrong,” she said. 

“The captain did note you had good instincts,” the Doctor reminded her.

Yaz put the mask back on her face and left the vehicle. The Doctor followed her, with a worried look on her face. “Shouldn’t we go over the plan first?” she asked as she caught up with Yaz, attempting to get ahead of her to block her path.

“We’re not facing the kasaavin, Doctor-- this doesn’t require a lot of strategy. We approach, break up their party, and they either go home or we give them a citation,” Yaz explained, stepping out of the Doctor’s way.

The Doctor grabbed Yaz’s arm, stopping her. “You’re right-- this IS different. You could see the kasaavin coming.”

“You can SEE humans coming at you as well,” Yaz countered. “I’m not going to touch anyone or any surface. I’m actually going to stand 10 feet away, just to be safe. I know you’re worried, Doctor, but I am trained to handle these situations.” The Doctor looked at Yaz with concern. “Trust me,” Yaz implored. She turned around and approached the garage. She would show the Doctor how capable she was, she told herself. She walked forward in confidence as the Doctor followed.

A sound of moaning let out as Yaz neared the driveway. A blonde man appearing to be in his early 20’s approached one of the people sitting in a lawn chair . “Mike, I told you that your neighbor was watching us. She called the police, didn’t she?” He turned to Yaz. “Hey, was it that lady in the window?” He pointed across the street. Yaz turned around and saw a middle-aged woman peering behind some curtains. She fled when Yaz made eye contact with her. Yaz turned back toward the two young men. Mike had to be the host of the party if he had neighbors on this block, she deduced. People didn’t typically throw parties for themselves, and the blonde man hadn’t run away when he saw the police approaching-- so perhaps he played a role in this gathering as well? Being sure to stay 10 feet away (as she promised the Doctor) and using her authoritative voice, she began. “Mike, was it? And you are?” she asked the blonde man.

“Luke,” he answered.

“Luke-- You’ve probably heard, but there’s a country-wide quarantine . No parties allowed.”

“Oh, we’ve heard, ma’dam officer,” Luke commented with a mocked respect, “but you see, we didn’t invite the virus.” They both laughed like it was the funniest joke they had ever heard. 

Yaz didn’t budge at their adolescent behavior. The Doctor watched the exchange nervously. 

Luke continued. “But if you or your lady friend over there would like an invitation, we promise not to tell anyone,” they mused.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that,” Yaz said dispassionately, trying to maintain control. “And I’m afraid your invitation has been withdrawn as well. Come on, pack it up boys-- before I have to give you a citation.”

Luke turned toward his friend. “Did you hear that, Mike-- she even brought a gift for your graduation-- a citation! Not quite the same as a gift card, but what a nice copper!” he joked.

Graduation party. I was right, Yaz thought. She hoped the Doctor had caught that as well. “Look, I understand. Graduation is a huge accomplishment. The ceremony itself had to be cancelled. I’m sure you were looking forward to it. Of course you would want to celebrate it in some way. But this-- what you’re doing-- it isn’t safe.”

“Safety monitor, eh?” Luke asked. "That explains the getup! I thought it was Halloween! That's the problem with quarantines-- you never quite know what day it is.” Yaz could feel herself becoming impatient, but she willed herself to remember her training and keep calm. “Tell me,” Luke continued, “would it be safe during a pandemic if I did THIS?” He took a step closer to Yaz.

Not good, she thought. She had to gain control. It was hard being so young in this field, and being a woman-- on top of being a ethnic minority. There were so many prejudices to overcome. Even with the police uniform, not everyone gave her respect or took her seriously. It was clear these young men didn’t. She had to get the upper hand, and fast. “I’m going to ask you one more time before it stops becoming a request,” she declared, standing her ground. 

“I’m sorry, what?” Luke asked insincerely, taking yet another step forward. “I couldn’t quite hear you from way over there, with your face mask and all...”

“Take one step closer to her and you’ll be under arrest,” the Doctor commanded authoritatively as she stood in between Yaz and the young men. The abruptness of her interjection caused Luke to take a step back. Mike stood out of his lawn chair and the Doctor turned to Yaz. “Can I say that? Do I have the authority to arrest people?” she whispered.

“No,” Yaz whispered back angrily, upset that the Doctor had interceded. She was supposed to be impressing the Doctor by what she could do, not having the Doctor feel like she had to come to her rescue. The Doctor seemed oblivious to Yaz’s annoyance. Looking disappointed by her lack of jurisdiction, she turned back toward the boys.

“Who are you, the rainbow police?” Mike asked, referring to her sweater. The two of them laughed again.

“Nice one,” Yaz yelled at them sarcastically, feeling defensive for her friend. “Real mature.” She wondered how old these men really were. 

The Doctor brushed off their criticism. “Yes, actually, I am.” She took out her psychic paper and showed it to them. Yaz could only assume it exhibited some actual rainbow policing credentials. The boys looked at each other confused as she placed the psychic paper back in her pocket. “But more importantly, I’m a doctor. THE Doctor. And I’m here to save you.”

“If you’re a doctor, why aren’t you wearing a mask?” Mike asked. 

Dang it, forgot already! the Doctor thought. Perhaps it’s not so easy, following the rules… She forced her focus back to the present. “Because I wanted to make sure you could hear ME loud and clear,” she countered. “How many people have been at this party?” Luke and Mike shrugged, unsure. “You didn’t count?” the Doctor asked, almost offended. 

“Can I help if I’m so loved, loads of people want to stop by to congratulate me?” Mike asked.

“Loads, you say?” the Doctor asked. “That’s not a number, so let’s enumerate it. 30? One out of ten people are born with an underlying medical condition. That’s three.”

“Three what?” Luke asked, trying to follow the Doctor’s racing mind.

“Three people you’re choosing to potentially condemn to death.” All hint of her buoyant personality fled; a resolutely somber tone taking its place. She took a step closer to Luke and looked at him like she could gaze into his very consciousness. Yaz wondered if perhaps she could. “No, chances are they won’t all die. But they could, and you can see them in your mind now, can’t you? Your three friends. Just at my mention of it.” Luke started to squirm under her scrutiny. “You’ve named those three. Let’s name another. 27 people left. One of those people, blessed enough to be born without an underlying condition catches it. The virus doesn’t care that they’re healthy. For no reason other than the luck of the draw, if they were to get this disease, they would die, too.” She looked at Mike this time. “Did you name them?”

Mike tried to speak, but the Doctor cut him off. “26 people left. Two of them test positive. One brings it home to their grandparents. The other to their mother who is battling breast cancer.” She paused. “What’s your mother’s name, Mike?” 

Now Mike looked uncomfortable. The Doctor had struck a nerve, and she knew it. Anger lit up in his eyes. “You don’t know me,” he contended. “I would never do anything to hurt my mum.”

"Wouldn't you?" The Doctor asked, not missing a beat. "Unwittingly, maybe, but the harm is there just the same." She turned to Yaz. "What's Graham always saying-- 'You only know if you survived cancer when you die from something else'." She turned to Mike again. "Is that something you're willing to risk?" The Doctor took a step closer to him. "You've named her, your mum. You can see her in your mind. Suddenly these statistics are people to you.” The Doctor took a few steps back, having made her point. The wind ran through her hair, recharging her spirit. “You live in a society that values happy endings and second chances. That's good. I’m a big fan of that, a second chance. But biology doesn't follow those rules. It doesn't give second chances. If you die, you die-- there is no changing that, either for you or for someone you love. It may seem unfair to your lot-- you wonderful, amazing humans who live in the hope that everyone deserves a happy life--but not everybody gets a happy ending. Not when it comes to this.” She approached Mike and Luke once more. “24 people left. You know who I’ve named?” she asked. “Oh, they’re brilliant, these two. They don’t want me to know it-- they HIDE it, hoping to divert me, but I see that bravado for what it really is-- desperation.” She turned toward Mike. “The son, worried about his mother.” She turned toward Luke. “And the man worried about his best friend. So worried that he would do anything-- like throw a graduation party-- to regain some sense of normalcy for him. Not the brightest move during a pandemic, but I understand the sentiment. Love like that, it MEANS something to me. Lives like that-- those two-- they're worth saving.” Yaz stood back, watching. Mike and Luke hadn’t commented in a while. Both just stood there, affected by the Doctor’s words. “Please, go inside,” the Doctor pleaded. She turned to Mike. "Or in your case, don't-- not if your mother is in there.” She pointed to the squad car on the street, her mood suddenly becoming pleasant again. “My bestie and I will be watching from the corner, just to make sure everyone gets cleared out okay." The Doctor took out her sonic screwdriver and scanned them before walking away without any explanation. 

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Yaz tried to hide her anger as they walked back to the squad car. It took everything inside of her to do so. She opened the door and sat inside, immediately taking off her mask. She realized that once again, the Doctor was oblivious. How can she be so perceptive, so compassionate, and at the same time so thick, she wondered?

“I think we might have actually got through to them!” the Doctor commented happily.

“One of us did,” Yaz mumbled, looking down.

“Neither of them has the disease according to my sonic, but hopefully now it will stay that way. Ah! THERE is my mask!” the Doctor noted happily as she picked it up from the passenger’s side floor. “These are hard to keep track of, aren’t they? I was worried I had put it in my pocket by accident-- my pockets are bigger on the inside. Who knows how long it’d take me to find it if that were the case,” she joked.

"You knew Mike's mother had cancer, didn't you?” she asked the Doctor. The Doctor was caught off guard by the question, but Yaz didn’t care. “How?”

The Doctor shrugged and glanced down at her lap, hands playing with her mask nervously. “Lucky guess. I’ve always been a good guesser,” she lied.

"Of course you wouldn't explain it to me," Yaz muttered to herself. 

The Doctor looked back at Yaz, suddenly aware of her perturbation. "What is it, Yaz?” she asked sincerely. “What’s wrong? What am I not understanding?" 

Yaz couldn’t trust herself to look at the Doctor, not in the heat of her emotion. She placed both hands on the steering wheel and looked straight ahead. She wondered if she was ready to have this conversation. She wasn’t, she realized. Not all of it, anyway. Her feelings about the Doctor’s secrets and lack of trust in her grew too deep. But maybe she was ready to share just this part with the Doctor... “I didn’t need your help out there,” she asserted. “I was making headway with them. You should have given me more time.”

The Doctor fumbled for words. “I was worried-- I thought he was going to get too close to you. I couldn’t be sure he didn’t have the virus.”

Yaz faced her. “I told you I was trained for these situations. I needed you to trust me, not treat me like a kitten who had gotten herself stuck up a tree and couldn’t get down.”

The Doctor looked at Yaz intensely for a moment. “I don’t see you that way.” 

“You think of me as a child.”

“I would NEVER say that...” the Doctor disagreed.

“You don’t have to say it-- it’s how you TREAT people. Me, Ryan-- even Graham. I know we haven’t lived for thousands of years and we don’t have near the amazing intelligence that you do, but that doesn’t mean that our experiences and our talents should be discounted!” she stated emphatically. The Doctor went quiet. Yaz forced herself to calm down for a moment. They sat there in silence. “Did you ever consider that I was actually trying to impress you?” she finally asked. 

The Doctor looked as if she were at a loss for words, but she tried. “You impress me every second! Always have.”

“Ironic, isn’t it?” Yaz continued. “Here I am trying to get you to see me as an adult-- as an equal-- yet at the same time I feel like I’m a child who wants to show you the artwork she made at school so you can put it on the fridge.”

“I don’t see you as an equal, Yaz,” the Doctor revealed bluntly. “You are so much better than me.” The Doctor was about to say more, but Yaz cut her off. 

“Don’t. With all of your brilliance, you still don’t get it. Perhaps you never will and I should make my peace with that. You know, maybe I’m not ready to have this conversation after all.” The Doctor looked like she was going to protest for a moment, but didn’t. Yaz turned the car on and they drove away.

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The Doctor kept stealing sideway glances at Yaz when she thought she wasn’t looking. Maybe Yaz wasn’t looking-- but she could feel them just the same. They rode in silence for a while.

“Yaz?” the Doctor asked timidly. Yaz glanced at her. “Are you still angry with me?”

“It’s only been five minutes,” Yaz replied, “so yes.”

“Five minutes is so long when you live it the human way,” the Doctor muttered to herself. Yaz heard the comment but chose to ignore it. “Yaz?” the Doctor asked again. 

Yaz tried to summon up her patience. “Yes?”

“I’m sorry,” the Doctor said genuinely. 

“Doctor, not now, I told you...” Yaz started to wave her off.

“You know I’m not good when it comes to emotions, but I’d like to try.” 

Yaz wanted to protest but didn’t. How could she tell the Doctor to trust her with her secrets and then be angry with her when she opened up? Yaz pulled over to the side of the road and idled there. “All right,” she said, turning to the Doctor.

The Doctor braced herself. Cybermen and Daleks were nothing, she thought-- humans were the biggest challenge she had ever met. “I don’t want to protect you because I think of you as incapable,” she started. “Quite the opposite in fact. I want to protect you BECAUSE you are so competent-- so adept at any situation you might find yourself-- and people in positions of power recognize that in you. They give you responsibility that’s worthy of it. I don’t mean this in a condescending way, but you are so young, Yaz-- just starting out in the world-- and you already have such trust placed in you! You’re out here, every day, battling a major pandemic with nothing but a mask and your brilliance and your confidence that you can make the world a better place. When you were given the choice to escape it all-- to save yourself-- you turned it down without thinking, because you couldn’t bear the thought of leaving others to deal with it on their own. You will be asked again and again to put yourself at risk BECAUSE people know you can handle it. You’re fierce and dauntless and you will say yes each time you’re asked to because that’s who you are. So who protects you, while you’re protecting others? ME. I can’t help it, THAT’S who I am. You are so important to me, and I will do everything that’s in my power to keep you safe the way you keep others safe; I will never be sorry for that. But I do regret that I haven’t shown you this properly. I honestly never imagined you thought I saw you in any other way. You-- Yasmin Khan-- are magnificent on your own; but I’m better when you’re here. I can’t lose you. So please don’t be angry with me.”

Emotion swole to a lump in Yaz’s throat. Not quite the confiding of secrets she was hoping for, but it was a start. “You know that getting on your family’s nerves is a normal part of being quarantined, yeah?” she joked.

The Doctor smiled. “Guess I finally found something human I’m good at!” she mused.

Yaz smiled back and took a deep breath, regaining her composure. “Fancy a donut?” she asked the Doctor. The Doctor beamed even brighter as Yaz drove away.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Yaz and the Doctor’s shift ended at 7:00. Yaz offered to drop the Doctor off at Ryan and Graham’s before leaving the car at the station but the Doctor refused, worried something might happen to Yaz on her way home. They walked the mile back from the station together (to the Doctor’s relief) without incident. “What time should I meet you tomorrow?” she asked Yaz as they started to part ways. 

“I don’t have a shift, actually,” Yaz replied, “so it looks like you have the day off, too.”

“Day off?!” the Doctor jested. “Not with those boys--I’m sure something will come up.” 

“I’m sure something will come up, too,” Yaz agreed. She leaned in closer. “But not because of them,” she whispered sarcastically, nudging the Doctor’s elbow playfully before running up the stairs to her flat. 

The Doctor smiled at her friend’s banter. She watched Yaz enter her home before walking the rest of the way back on her own. Graham and Ryan didn’t live far from Yaz’s flat, but for once she was glad for the little bit of solitude the walk afforded her. She loved humans, but the intensity of their emotions could be overwhelming. She needed a few minutes to center herself. Graham was right-- people were desperate; and while she expected that desperation, she didn’t necessarily expect the form that desperation took. All day long Yaz and the Doctor responded to calls where people were disrespectful, immature, and extremely selfish in nature. They acted as if she and Yaz were violating their rights instead of saving their lives. The Doctor thought the world of Yaz for choosing to face that every day. 

Graham was on the sofa completing a crossword puzzle when the Doctor walked in. He looked up at her eagerly. “How did it go?!” he asked.

“‘Operation Don’t Die, Yaz-- Day 1’, success!” she announced, then wrinkled her nose. “The name needs work,” she confessed as she plopped down on the sofa next to Graham. “What have you been up to?” she asked curiously.

Ryan ran down the stairs, not letting Graham answer. “Good-- you’re home! I just need to stretch my legs for a few.”

“Excellent! I’ll go with you!” The Doctor sprinted off the sofa, suddenly full of energy. 

“You’re coming with me?” Ryan asked.

The Doctor gave him an exasperated look. “Yes! Why are you lot always so shocked by this? We just made these rules yesterday-- wasn’t anyone paying attention?!”

“I meant you just came home after working all day. Don’t you want to...I don’t know, relax or something?” Ryan couldn’t think of a time he saw the Doctor rest. She seemed to have an infinite supply of energy. He often wondered what she did on the TARDIS when the three of them went to sleep. Did she ever take a break? Did she even need to? She said Time Lords only slept after regeneration, but surely there were moments when even she needed downtime. When the Doctor announced she was staying with them off-TARDIS for months he was hoping to finally be able to solve that mystery.

“I’ve been cooped up in a patrol car for ages,” she stated. She started stretching as if she were about to run a marathon. “I could use the exercise.”

“YOU’VE been cooped up?” Ryan asked her incredulously. “I’ve had no stimulation all day!”

“I told him you probably wouldn’t have minded if he went for a quick lap around the building, but he wouldn’t budge.” Graham chimed in, still focusing on his crossword. 

“And I told YOU the Doctor would have known if I had left the flat.” He countered.

“I don’t see how,” Graham argued.

The Doctor stopped stretching and held up her index finger for emphasis. “I would have minded, and I would have known,” she asserted sternly. “I’m also very happy to see that you realize video games don’t provide adequate stimulation. Except, of course, when you’ve been sucked inside of one and end up spending three nights escaping from a VERY angry Yoshi.” Ryan looked at her questioningly. “How was I to know he only had the one pair of shoes?!” she asked rhetorically. “I would have given them back! Eventually...” She turned to Graham, watching him for a moment with a puzzled look of her own. “Are you a rule-breaker, Graham?” she asked him. “Did you actually tell Ryan to disobey me?” Graham peered up at her from his crossword puzzle. “Maybe I should worry about you more during this quarantine...” the Doctor considered.

Ryan grabbed a basketball, then turned to the Doctor. “Since I, the good one, listened to you, could you listen to me now? Let’s go!” He eagerly took the Doctor’s hand and led her toward the front door.

“All right,” Graham yelled as they left the flat, “but when you get back I want to hear all about how your day with Yaz went!” The door closed in a hurry. “Yeah, they didn’t hear me,” Graham told himself as he went back to his crossword.

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“FINALLY! I can breathe again!” Ryan revelled as he and the Doctor made their way around the block. Ryan started dribbling his basketball, relieving the day’s suppressed energy through his hands.

The Doctor stopped walking, immersed in thought. “Ryan,” she started, “do you think I see you as a child?”

“Sometimes,” Ryan shrugged, still focused on dribbling. “But I imagine all people are children compared to you,” he stated nonchalantly.

The Doctor looked down. “That’s what Yaz said,” she noted sadly.

Ryan stopped dribbling, realizing the Doctor had lagged behind him. He turned to her questioningly. “So?” he asked. “You admitted to that much this morning, right? ‘I consider myself a parent to all humanity’...” he reminded her.

“I guess that’s true,” she realized.

“Then why the long face?” he inquired.

The Doctor’s eyebrows rose in self-reflection. “I guess I never thought about it until now,” she confessed. 

“Then...how do you view it, you and us?” he asked, authentically curious.

“Like a general,” she answered, not missing a beat, “whose job it is to keep her soldiers safe while they’re at war.” 

Ryan froze at the thought of Doctor--the greatest pacifist he had ever met-- a woman who despised weapons and showed endless compassion to even her enemies-- viewing life so coldly, so tacitly. He never saw her as a soldier before, but something inside of him knew that she would excel at it. A sudden chill ran down his spine. “That’s intense,” he remarked.

The Doctor became animated. “When we land the TARDIS, there’s no telling what dangers await us,” she explained. “It’s MY job to keep you safe until I can return you all home. It’s the curse of living so long-- I’ve learned to recognize the danger around me, all of the time. Even now we’re at war-- and with an enemy we can’t see! Beating it will take strategy and discipline, but mostly it will take experience that I have over the rest of you.” The Doctor thought about her soldiers during the Time War. Although Ryan didn’t know it, she had been a general for long enough to have those protective instincts sealed upon her hearts. It became an integral part of how she viewed her relationship to others. Then there was also the added human aspect of these three. Humans had always been her favorite; she loved their energy and their potential. It’s what she loved about this time period in particular-- humans were barely able to leave their planet, and could only dream of leaving their solar system. They were just starting out, and she got to be here to witness it. “Perhaps over the millenia parental instincts for you lot did start to kick in, even if I wasn’t consciously aware of it,” she acknowledged.

Ryan looked at her, confused. “Again… so?” he asked.

“So?” the Doctor asked. “I just compared your entire society to children. Are you not offended?”

Ryan shrugged again. “You care about us. Why would I be?” he asked. “Take it from someone who grew up without parents-- having you to fill that hole-- it’s not a bad thing.” He started fidgeting with the basketball again. 

“Isn’t it?” the Doctor asked, still uncertain. She needed to have control over situations in order to keep her friends safe-- but had it come to the point where her friends instead felt she was trying to control them? 

Ryan took a step closer to her. “And look, you’re not just one thing to us, yeah? You may be a general when you have to be-- you may be a parent when we need one; but you’re also our mate. You’re our teacher. You’re our conscience. You’re a mentor. You’re a doctor-- You’re THE DOCTOR. So don’t go thinking that your any one role in our lives is detrimental or unnecessary-- because the three of us need every part of you.”

The Doctor was genuinely touched by Ryan’s sentiment and her smile returned. “Ryan Sinclair… have I ever told you that you are my favorite?”

“Well…” Ryan smiled bashfully. 

The Doctor shrugged away his praise. “But I’m not quite sure Yaz would agree with your opinion,” she sorrowed.

“That’s because you and Yaz are practically the same person.” Ryan started dribbling again. “She’s a protector, like you. Similar people rarely see eye to eye.”

The Doctor looked at Ryan quizzically. “Do you mean that?” she asked sincerely. “Do you really think I’m as good as Yaz?” 

Ryan looked at her in surprise. “With all the people you’ve saved, how can you not see yourself in that way?” The Doctor looked away, unsure of how to respond. She expected and was even looking forward to learning more about her friends during this quarantine, but she didn’t expect to learn so much about herself. Crises were a powerful time of self-discovery. She was drawn out of her thoughts by the sound of Ryan’s stomach rumbling. “Sorry,” Ryan apologized. “Guess I’m hungry.”

The Doctor’s eyes grew wide. “GROCERIES! I forgot again!”

“It’s all right. We still have the food you-- or rather, the TARDIS-- made,” Ryan reminded her. 

“It’s still light out, I could make it to the store before they close if I left now,” the Doctor reasoned, ignoring Ryan’s comments.

“Doctor, It’s fine!” Ryan insisted.

“Right…” the Doctor said as she turned to Ryan. “Walk you home, make a quick dash to the grocery. What could go wrong?!” she stated hopefully.

Ryan raised an eyebrow skeptically. “Was that question rhetorical?” he asked. 

The Doctor made a sarcastic face at him before grabbing his hand and leading him back to the flat.

____________________________________________________________________________

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The Doctor stood outside the grocery store. “Now, where did I put that list...” she asked herself. The Doctor fumbled through her pockets. Certain things she could find so easily-- like her psychic paper, which somehow (probably psychically) seemed to always find her. Her hands touched numerous objects, but none of them felt like paper. A strained look crossed her face as her body worked harder, digging deeper into her pockets to find the grocery list. A middle aged man stopped to watch the scene as he passed. The Doctor noticed the attention she was drawing to herself and stopped, smiling at the man politely. “I’ve been meaning to clean these out-- just haven’t seemed to find the time!” she stated cordially. The man gave the Doctor a look before continuing to walk into the store. The Doctor noticed he was wearing a mask and wished she had brought hers, both to blend in and to set a good example. “Those really are hard to keep track of…” she thought out loud. She searched for the list once more before giving up. “Oh well-- I got a glance at it, once-- best do this from memory,” she told herself. 

She walked inside the grocery, trying to remember how one shopped in this century. She saw customers roaming through the aisles with hand baskets and scanned the area until she found where they were kept. Grabbing one, she made her way toward the dairy section. She noticed most of the products were empty. “Maybe I should have come here first thing in the morning when they’ve stocked. Probably be less distractions that way.” She geared herself with another pep talk. “All right, Doctor-- time to focus…” Just then she observed an aged woman attempting to reach a half-carton of milk on the top shelf. Seeing the struggle, the Doctor immediately approached her. “Can I help?” she asked. “I suppose I’m not much taller than you, but I have excellent climbing skills!” 

The aged woman stepped aside to make room for the Doctor. “That would be so kind,” she remarked. 

The Doctor used the empty first shelf as a stepping-stool and grabbed the carton. “Here you are-- Vitamin D. Important stuff, that vitamin! Not only is it good for your bones, but it’s good for your mood! Good for your kidneys and liver as well.” She handed the milk to the woman and noticed that she wasn’t wearing a mask. “Can I ask your name?”

“Mary,” the aged woman answered. “And thank you. You don’t meet many kind young people these days.”

“You’re very welcome, Mary,” the Doctor responded. Mary smiled before turning around to continue shopping. The Doctor caught up to her. “Can I carry your groceries for you, Mary?” she asked. 

“Oh, that’s all right,” the woman dismissed.

“Please-- I’d really like to help,” the Doctor pleaded.

Mary looked at the Doctor with tired eyes. “Well, if you insist…”

“I do!” the Doctor smiled and took Mary’s basket away from her. “I’m the Doctor, by the way.”

Mary’s eyes grew wide. “You’re a doctor?”

“Yes I am.”

“Oh my. No wonder you know so much about vitamins,” Mary remarked.

“Vitamins, medicines, vaccinations-- medieval healing practices…” The Doctor pointed to her brain. “It’s all up here somewhere.” They turned the corner and started heading down another aisle. “What are you doing here on your own so late in the day, Mary?” The Doctor grabbed a loaf of bread from Mary’s grocery list and placed it in her basket. They continued to walk. “It’s just, there’s a terrible virus. Being a doctor, I feel it’s my duty to warn you. I’d hate for you to catch it.”

“Oh, I’ve heard about that,” Mary said kindly, “But you see, it’s just me these days. I get awfully lonely at home. At least the cashier is someone I can talk to,” she stated.

The Doctor smiled sadly. “Loneliness-- that’s something I can understand,” the Doctor admitted. “But don’t stores open early for the elderly?” she asked. “It’s a tad safer. Everything’s been restocked and sanitized. Not as many people around.”

“Do they? Oh that’s so nice. I could never keep track of such things,” Mary disclosed. The Doctor nodded empathetically. She had worn out plenty of bodies. She remembered what it was like to have one get older-- even with her brilliance, it was harder to remember things. The two finished Mary’s shopping list and checked out at the register. “Thank you, Doctor,” Mary said authentically. “It was nice to have some company again.” She reached for the grocery bag.

The Doctor shook her head. “I’ll walk with you-- make sure you get home all right.”

“Are you sure?” Mary asked. “I don’t wish to be any trouble.”

The Doctor nodded. “No trouble at all. That is, if you aren’t tired of me yet,” she joked.

“Oh, I would love that,” Mary admitted. The two of them chatted as they walked the few blocks to Mary’s flat. The Doctor showed off her knowledge on the history of crosswalks and Mary was happy to have someone to listen to, even if it were just for a little while. 

Mary unlocked the door to her home and the Doctor placed the grocery bags onto her countertop. “There you go. Would you like me to put these away for you?” she asked.

“Oh no, thank you. I’m very particular.” Mary stated.

“You and me both!” the Doctor admitted. “We have a lot in common, Mary,” she stated. Mary started to put the groceries away as the Doctor paced around the living room-- scanning everything and soaking it into her memory. “Is this your husband?” she asked, pointing to a picture of Mary with an aged man by her side.

“His name was Bertie,” Mary answered, putting the bread away. “He passed away in August. We were married 55 years.”

“55 years!” The Doctor asked, impressed. “You must be in your 80’s! Thereabouts, anyway. Good for you! Quite an accomplishment for a human, living that long!” The Doctor stopped herself. “Was that rude? Sorry. In most civilizations throughout history growing old was revered, but my friend Graham seems to be offended whenever I mention his age. It’s hard to keep track of what’s acceptable in each time period,” she stated. She watched Mary put the rest of the groceries away in the kitchen. “You must miss Bertie very much.”

“Terribly so,” Mary said, finishing up. “Are you married?” she asked.

The Doctor pondered on the question for a moment. How many spouses had she had over the years? Some were purposeful and others (like Queen Elizabeth) she fell into by accident. It was a hazard of time traveling-- sometimes you ended up at the right place at the right time for such things to happen. Or the wrong place at the wrong time, depending on how you looked at it. “You could say that’s a difficult question to answer,” she stated. “But no-- my family’s all passed on, too.”

“But you’re so young!” Mary said with dread.

“I was older, once,” The Doctor admitted thoughtfully. “But I’m not sure that makes it easier.” 

Mary looked at her quizzingly. “You do say the strangest things, Doctor.”

“Do you have any picture albums?!” The Doctor asked, changing the subject. “I LOVE looking at picture albums.” Mary grabbed an album from her bookshelf and handed it to the Doctor. The Doctor sat down in a car and opened it eagerly. The first page showed a young couple in wedding attire. “Is that you?” she asked Mary. 

Mary nodded and smiled. “Yes. A lifetime ago.”

The Doctor’s eyes wandered across the page to a young man in uniform. “Was Bertie a soldier?” she asked.

“We were all soldiers back then. The men fighting on the front lines in Korea. The women raising children on their own in addition to working for their family’s support. The world gone mad,” Mary remembered somberly.

“I’ve seen that a few times,” the Doctor mentioned. She turned the page to see a young Mary with a baby in her arms. “You have a daughter?” she asked.

“I was blessed with two,” Mary explained. “Two daughters and seven grandchildren. I do wish they would have stayed in Sheffield, but children have to make their own way in the world I suppose.”

“I think I’m supposed to be learning that myself,” the Doctor divulged. “But between you and me, I don’t like it.” She turned the page to see Mary with another baby and a toddler by her side. “You didn’t move in with one of your daughters when your husband died?” she asked. 

“Rachel wanted me to-- my eldest-- but I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving the home Bertie created for me.”

The Doctor nodded, then closed the photo album. Her smile left her face. “Mary,” she started, “I’m very worried that if you continue to leave your home you’ll catch this virus. Especially if you don’t take any precautions-- which I understand might mean more if I had a mask on myself, but trust me-- if you were to get this, it would not end well.” Mary glanced away, emotion starting to form tears in her eyes. The Doctor took Mary’s hand. “I know what you’ve lost and what that’s cost you. I know you might have heard others recently being carelessly dismissive of your generation; but you-- Mary the Octogenarian-- are worth keeping on this earth for a few years longer. Your story has not yet ended, and this world isn’t done needing you-- even if you feel like it is. It took me so many years to learn that lesson, after I lost everything; but know that you are valued and loved and important. NO ONE can replace you. Give the world the gift of keeping the one and only Mary that there will ever be-- and give yourself the gift of knowing how special and unique you truly are. You are a miracle that will never again come to this universe. FEEL that. You are extraordinary.” She let go of Mary’s hand. Mary turned away again, regaining her composure. She took a handkerchief out of her pocket and dabbed at her watering eyes. “Seven grandchildren, you say?” the Doctor asked, lightening the mood. Mary nodded. “What are their ages?”

“The oldest must be nearing 40 by now. The youngest is in high school,” Mary replied, rubbing the handkerchief against her nose. 

“Teenagers tend to have their own phones these days, don’t they?” She asked Mary. “At least that’s what I’ve gathered from my friends Yaz and Ryan. I guess they are a little older than a high school student, but relatively the same age, in the grand scheme of things. Do you have their numbers?” the Doctor asked. “Your grandchildren’s, that is-- I already have Yaz and Ryan’s,” she clarified. 

“Yes, I believe I do…” Mary glanced around the living room as if she were trying to remember where she had placed them. 

“Brilliant! Could you fetch them for me?” she asked as she walked across the room, picking up a tablet that was placed on top of a pile of mail on the table. 

“What are you doing, Doctor?” Mary inquired.

“Your daughter sent this to you, didn’t she?” The Doctor already knew the answer.

“Yes, it’s a gift from Rachel. She wanted me to see her face during the quarantine, but I’m afraid I’m not that good with the newfangled technology.”

“That’s all right,” the Doctor explained. “I’m going to tweak it so you won’t have to be! Just give me five minutes and the number of your grandchildren. Then be prepared to give me your most impressed smile!” Mary looked at her questioningly again. “I thrive on admiration,” the Doctor admitted. She took out her sonic as Mary left the room to retrieve the phone numbers. Mary returned 10 minutes later and handed the Doctor a small book. “And address book!” she exclaimed. “Haven’t seen one of these in ages! Used to have one of these myself, only in rolodex. Didn’t necessarily need it-- always had superior technology-- but I thought it made everything look important. And they are-- those numbers. They keep the people you care about close to you. Nothing is more important than that.”

Mary shook her head. “The things you say, Doctor--I’m not quite sure I can keep up. But I must admit, it is enjoyable being around you!”

The Doctor beamed. “All finished,” she noted. “Just say ‘let me see so and so’, and it will call them. Shall we try it out?” She skimmed the list of names on Mary’s address book. “Let me see Macy,” she commanded. The tablet automatically started a video chat with a young dark haired girl who looked back at the Doctor, mystified. “Hi, Macy? This is the Doctor!”

A voice off screen could be heard in the background. “Did someone call you?”

Macy shrugged. “I don’t know. I was just skimming through instagram and suddenly there she was,” she responded to her unseen friend. “I don’t even remember answering. I never answer numbers I don’t know…”

“Very smart precaution to take in today’s world, Macy. I’m afraid that was my doing-- I set it to automatically answer this number any time it calls. Don’t worry, though! We’ll set you up with a schedule, so you don’t get caught off guard again. I’m with your Gran!” The Doctor tilted the camera toward Mary so her granddaughter could see her face, then tilted it back so they could finish their conversation. “She’s fine. But she misses you. About that schedule-- I was thinking every Wednesday around 7:00 you could set aside some time and catch up! I’ll be contacting the rest of your family with their time slots as well. I’ll let you talk to your Gran for a few. Got a bit more background work to do myself.” The Doctor handed the tablet with a very confused Macy to her grandmother and sat down back down in the chair. She took out her own cell phone and started researching.

Mary’s eyes lit brightly. “Hello, Macy!” The Doctor glanced up and saw Mary smile sincerely for the first time. It made her smile as well. 

The puzzled look on Macy’s face started to soften. “Hello, Gran. Are you well?” 

The Doctor continued researching. Fifteen more minutes went by before Macy had to get off the video chat with her grandmother. Macy handed the tablet back to the Doctor. “That was amazing, Doctor-- I could see her so clearly!”

“It’ll be that way for everyone else in your family as well. I’ll set an alarm to notify you of scheduled calls. Of course you don’t have to wait until your alarm goes off to chat with them-- I just want to be sure no one’s leaving you out.” The Doctor pointed her sonic at the tablet. “People get busy-- it’s not malicious or anything-- but there are always going to be competing priorities. If something is important to you, you have to consciously set aside the time to make room for it in your life. Sometimes people need a little nudge to remember that. You, Mary, are important. So I’m that little nudge.” She looked up at Mary. “I’ve also adjusted the battery. Shouldn’t need recharging for the next decade or so.” She handed the tablet to her new friend. “I’ve been alone before-- I realize technology can only go so far; it can’t fully cure that ache. Normally I’d have my mates check in on you in person, but if that were an option, we wouldn’t be having this problem. So instead, if I timed it right-- or rather, if I WILL time it right...” The Doctor let her sentence hang as she made her way to the front door. Opening it, she found a green parakeet in a fully-stocked birdcage. “Brilliant!” the Doctor exclaimed. She grabbed the bird cage and brought it inside.

Mary’s eyes widened. “Where did that come from?” she asked.

“I decided that when this is all over I would get a bird and drop it on your doorstep! Took a leap of faith in my future self. Glad to know I have a future! Bit of a risk, having two of me so close in proximity and in the same timeline, but I figured you were worth it,” she explained with a smile. Mary looked at her in confusion and the Doctor’s smile started to fade. “Guess that would have made more sense had you known the context…” she acknowledged.

“You are a strange one, Doctor.” Mary noted.

“That’s fair,” the Doctor confessed with a sincere nod. “But what will you name him?!” she continued, moving the cage to the table.

“Him?” Mary asked.

“Yes-- he’s going to need a name! I’ve a pet named Bill myself. I’d show her to you, but apparently not every human is as big of a fan of arachnids as I am. Plus, she’s going through a shy stage. You know, parrots are just one of several types of talking birds. There are parakeets. Crows. Ravens. Mockingbirds. Magpies. They only sold parakeets at the pet store, though-- that’s what I was researching earlier. Good thing, probably-- magpies are notorious for their sarcasm.” The Doctor studied the parakeet. “I could have gone with a puppy or kitten-- I decided upon a bird because-- well, for one, teaching him to talk will keep you busy-- but also, it’s spring.” She looked back up at Mary intently. “Spring is my favorite,” she explained. “Everything comes back to life in the spring. I love seeing the expressions of the people as they come back to life as well. What screams 'spring' more than a bird?!” She turned back toward the parakeet. “Just don’t think of him as the tiny dinosaur that he actually is and you should be fine.” She took a bag of bird seed out of her pockets. “I knew this would come in handy one day! Glad I found it so easily! This should get you through the week. I’ve set you up for grocery delivery as well. Every Saturday someone will come bring you more groceries and birdseed until this is all over so you don’t have to expose yourself to too many people.” The Doctor watched her new friend take it all in. She took a step closer to her. “Listen, Mary. I know it will be hard, but when the deliveries come I don’t want you to chat them up. I know you’re lonely, but it is vital that you’re exposed to as little germs as possible. I’m sorry. I wish there were a different way. And I wish I could help more.”

“Does he really talk?” Mary asked in wonder.

The Doctor smiled. “He will. Not full sentences. Not really a conversation. And technically it’s more mimicking versus true speech due to a special structure called a syrinx found in their throat,” She stopped, realizing she was losing the magic of the moment. “But yes. Yes, Mary-- he will.” Mary gazed at her new pet as a thought popped into the Doctor’s mind. “Almost forgot!” she exclaimed. She took a black strip out of her pocket. “First try on this, too! Perhaps I’m more organized than I thought…”

“What is that?” Mary asked.

“Something that will help. It’ll tingle for a moment, but trust me.” The Doctor placed the strip onto Mary’s forehead.

“What’s your name?” Mary asked as the Doctor smoothed out the strip. 

Puzzled, the Doctor answered. “I’m the Doctor.”

“No, your first name?” Mary asked again. The Doctor looked at her questioningly. “You said my bird needed a name. It’s only right he’d be named after you-- to remember you by.”

The Doctor took a step back, visibly touched. “My name would be no good for a bird. Too strange,” she lied. “But, if you were to choose one-- I’d go with John. John Smith. I’ve always liked that name.” The Doctor scanned Mary with the sonic as she turned to face the parakeet. 

“Well, Mr. Smith,” Mary stated. “What shall we do with the rest of our night?”

____________________________________________________________________________*************************************************************************************************************

The Doctor walked home alone in the dark. She stopped for a moment as she passed the grocery store. She would once again be returning to her friends empty handed. “How is anyone on this planet to get their shopping done with all these distractions?” She asked herself. She continued to walk home in the dark.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 8

Chapter 8-- Sunday

“You know, I didn’t notice it the first time around, but his voice is rather soothing,” Ryan heard the Doctor say the next morning as he came down the stairs. Ryan peered around the corner to see the Doctor sitting with Graham on the sofa. Both were eating oatmeal and watching Graham’s favorite fishing show.

“Right?!” Graham agreed. “Sometimes when I can’t get to sleep I come down here, turn it on, and BAM!-- out in 20 minutes…”

“Really?!” The Doctor asked with intense interest. “Lots of humans have sleeping problems these days. Perhaps we’ve found the antidote,” she stated, thinking. 

“Am I still dreaming?” Ryan asked himself out loud. The Doctor and Graham looked up to notice Ryan in the room.

“Well look who decided to wake up sometime today!” Graham taunted.

“It’s half past nine in the morning…” Ryan countered, defending himself. 

“Well while the young sleep the day away, the Doctor and I have been curing one of the great plagues of our modern society!” Graham announced proudly.

“Liveliness?” Ryan asked. “Graham, I know you’re getting up there in age and it’s easy to get confused-- but liveliness isn’t a bad thing.” Graham gave Ryan an annoyed look. 

“Would you like some breakfast, Ryan?” the Doctor held up her oatmeal, offering it to Ryan.

Ryan looked at the Doctor’s oatmeal, and then back at her. “You got distracted again, didn’t you?”

The Doctor feigned a look of offence. “I could have made this!”

Ryan shook his head. “I’d recognize TARDIS oatmeal anywhere-- too perfect-- too creamy.”

“Maybe... that’s just how Gallifreyan oatmeal is made,” the Doctor argued, fumbling for words. 

“PLEASE just let me get the groceries,” Ryan begged, hands together pleadingly.

“You had oatmeal on Gallifrey?” Graham asked, caught up in her last statement.

“What do you need groceries for?! You have food from all over time and space at your fingertips! All you have to do is fetch it from the TARDIS. Most people would give anything to be in your shoes right now,” The Doctor lectured.

“I believe that was MY argument,” Ryan argued, “but you kept insisting you’d go. What happened to you this time, anyway?” he asked. Graham glanced at her, curious as well.

The Doctor squirmed a little under their scrutiny. She grabbed the remote control for the television and turned it off. “What are the plans for today?!” she asked cheerfully, changing the subject.

“She wouldn’t tell me, either.” Graham reported.

Ryan pointed to the television and turned to Graham. “Why were you showing this to her again? She hasn’t even stayed here an entire day yet, and I’m pretty sure this is why.”

The Doctor’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “I actually think I’m starting to see its charm,” she considered. “Besides, I spend most of my time in this flat! You’ve just been asleep. Not my fault humans are so diurnal.” Ryan stared at the Doctor for a long moment. “What?” she asked, uncomfortable under his gaze. 

“I’ll be quick-- in and out!” Ryan pleaded again, referring back to the store.

“Not going to happen,” The Doctor replied strictly.

"I'll wear a mask!" Ryan offered desperately. 

“Why are you always in such a hurry to leave?" Graham asked, siding with the Doctor. "Can’t you just enjoy the moment? I know it’s a poor hand we’ve been dealt , but you've got to make the most of it, right?”

“You mean like you?” Ryan asked.

Graham straightened up on the sofa. “Yes, I suppose. I try to set a good example for you. It’s my job and all…” Ryan smiled knowingly. “What?” Graham asked.

“You haven’t told her yet, have you?” Ryan asked so pointedly it got the Doctor’s attention. 

“Told her what?” Graham asked, pretending to not understand. Ryan’s smile got wider and he began to chuckle. Graham shook his head. “No! Now, that’s not the same thing, so don’t you go comparing the two…”

“What’s not the same thing?” the Doctor asked warily.

“I’m going to enjoy this,” Ryan said triumphantly. "FINALLY, something you get called out on."

“Blabbermouth!” Graham accusingly whispered to Ryan. Ryan’s smile continued, unaffected by Graham’s response.

“Enjoy what?!” The Doctor asked concerned. She turned to the man sitting next to her on the sofa. “Graham…” she chided.

It took Graham a minute to meet her gaze. “All right, Doc, it’s not a big deal-- I just have a minor check up tomorrow, is all…”

“Check up?” the Doctor repeated. Her eyes squinted in worry. “Are you all right?”

“Oh, I’m fine, yeah. It’s just that time of year again. I get these check ups every so often. But you’ve got Yaz to worry about-- I’ll be all right on my own." The Doctor didn’t look convinced.

“Check up," Ryan reiterated. "As in, a clinic. As in Graham’s leaving the house and he didn’t want you to know!” Ryan stated victoriously. 

The Doctor didn’t look amused. “You should have told me,” she stated coldly. Ryan’s smile faded at her tone.

Graham looked at her in guilt. “I know, I wasn’t trying to be all secretive-- but look, Yaz goes whizzing through the city all day long; she’s bound to be exposed to far worse than me.”

The Doctor shook her head. “But a medical facility is where people go when they’re sick. You’re at risk, too,” she explained with emphasis. 

Graham tried to wave off her worries, though the Doctor could tell he wasn't convinced himself. “It’s oncology. I’m sure they’ve taken precautions. Really, Doc-- I would rather you be with Yaz. Who’s to know the trouble she could get into?”

“But if you were to catch this virus, it’ll be so much worse for you,” the Doctor stated, emotion making her voice louder. “I can’t be in two places at once, Graham-- I can’t do both!” She shot up off the sofa and started pacing the floor, her hands covering her face in stress. 

Graham and Ryan stayed silent, stunned. It wasn't often they saw the Doctor lose her temper, and it scared them. The Doctor kept pacing for another moment until Ryan decided to break the silence. “How about I go with Graham and make sure he doesn’t touch anybody? And then on the way home, real quick, I could stop...” 

“Nice try,” the Doctor interrupted, giving Ryan the pointed look this time.

Graham looked down at his lap, disappointed. “I didn’t mean to upset you, Doc. I just… I didn’t want to make you choose between me and Yaz. I know you. For you that's an impossible decision, and you don’t deserve that.” The Doctor looked back at Graham with remorse. Of course that would be his reasoning, she thought. She cursed herself for feeling that she once again emotionally burdened her friends. Graham continued. “I’ll be fine. And if I’m not, the sonic will let you know, right? You linked us to it, remember?”

The Doctor shook her head again. “The whole point is to PREVENT you from getting the disease. How can I prevent something if I don’t know you could be exposed to it?” 

“I understand,” Graham started to reply.

“No more secrets,” the Doctor scolded. She knew she was being hypocritical-- she could tell the others were thinking the same thing-- but she didn’t care. If the universe owed her anything from the number of times she saved it, it was permission to be hypocritical when it came to saving the people she loved. “The both of you,” she started again, “if there’s something I need to know, you HAVE to tell me. It’s the only way I can keep you safe.” Ryan and Graham both looked down repentantly and nodded.

“So…” Ryan asked, breaking the silence. “What are you going to do?” 

The Doctor sank back into the sofa, unsure of the solution herself. Yaz was more likely to be exposed to the virus without the Doctor there, but Graham? An accidental exposure would likely KILL him. What was the answer?

“Why aren’t you with Yaz today, anyway?” Ryan asked curiously.

“She didn’t have a shift,” the Doctor responded absently.

“Are you sure?” Graham asked, teasing her. 

The Doctor looked at Graham, as if to tell him she wasn’t in the mood to be messed with. “Yes,” she exclaimed, then thought about it for another moment. “Maybe I should go and pop in for a few... you know-- just to see how her family's holding up,” she mentioned; her mood lighter, but her voice less certain.

“What did I tell you-- once again, you’re scaring her away!” Ryan accused Graham jokingly.

The Doctor sprang to her feet again. “Do NOT leave this flat," she commanded. "I’ll be back soon, pending a mass disaster. Which, you know, we’re already in.” She grabbed her jacket and turned back to Ryan. “Make sure you eat breakfast. It is the most important meal of the day.” She turned to Graham. “Will you see to it?” she asked. Graham nodded.

“You’re really running with this parenting humanity concept, aren’t you?” Ryan bantered.

“Yes," The Doctor answered. "Aren’t you lucky to have me?!” she asked him cheerfully as she left the flat.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 9

Chapter 9

The Doctor argued with herself on the way to Yaz’s. “She wouldn’t lie to me,” she thought. “Graham was just teasing… he was just trying to lighten the mood...” Yes, Yaz could be annoyed at the Doctor’s persistence and at times frustrated with her over-protective tendencies, but she wouldn’t flat out lie to be rid of her for the day-- would she? The Doctor shook her head, trying to rattle the thoughts out of her brains. “She’s too moral for such things,” she told herself. “Unless she was trying to make a point-- prove to me she was capable of doing it on her own…” The Doctor realized she had already raced up the stairs to Yaz’s flat and was knocking perhaps a little too anxiously when Hakim answered.

“Doctor!” he exclaimed, happily surprised. “So nice to see you again!”

“Good morning!” the Doctor answered, reminding herself to make a conscious effort to hide the state of panic she was in. “Is Yaz in?” She looked past Hakim hoping to get a glimpse of who else was in the home. She could only see Sonja from that angle. She could feel her blood pressure drop in fear.

“What, you’re not here to visit me?” Hakim joked. “I thought we had an appointment! You promised to help me finally wipe the know-it-all smirks off of the others' faces when we beat them in Charades.”

“The others-- yes, there would have to be others for that to happen, wouldn’t there?” Worry escaped from the Doctor’s voice and by the look on Hakim’s face, he noticed. The Doctor forced herself to sound less concerned. “Are there others?” she asked hopefully.

“Did I hear Charades?” Yaz asked as she entered the room. The Doctor’s eyes shut in relief. Yaz, perceiving the Doctor's distress, took a step closer to her friend. “Are you all right?” she asked, concerned.

“It’s nothing,” the Doctor dismissed, trying to play it off coolly. “Just something Graham mentioned. Did you know he was a troublemaker? I didn’t, before this-- it’s amazing what you learn about people when you live with them. Did I hear you mention Charades?! Yes-- that’s why I’m here-- for Charades. As promised," she stated unconvincingly and forced herself to smile again. 

They stared at her skeptically for a moment before Hakim decided it was best to brush it off. “Well, come in!” he welcomed. The Doctor stepped through the doorway and Hakim led her into the living room.

“Doesn’t she ever change clothes?” Sonja whispered curiously to Yaz as Yaz shushed her.

“I actually made this outfit 53 times. Bought the first one and had it replicated. Would have made more, but didn’t want to seem vain. Bit of a minimalist myself,” the Doctor explained. "Sorry-- I have REALLY good hearing."

“You have 53 of the SAME outfit?!” Sonja asked, shocked by the idea that any sane person would own more than one pair of the same clothes. 

“Yes,” the Doctor stated nonchalantly. “Hygiene is very important where I’m from. It’s customary to change at least 3 times a day-- sometimes more.”

“I’ve never seen you stop to change clothes,” Yaz mentioned.

“You must not have been paying attention!” The Doctor countered. “You know, I’ve never realized how little the three of you pay attention to me before now,” she lectured.

“But really… 53 pairs?!” Sonja asked, fascinated. "Just so you can wear the same thing every day?"

The Doctor paused as if realizing for the first time that wasn’t a normal human occurrence. “I’m a creature of habit,” she explained. The Doctor looked back at Sonja thoughtfully. “Normally people don’t mention that to me-- you really are quite perceptive,” she stated. She turned to Yaz. "Nice to know SOMEONE pays attention…"

“Where do you keep all those clothes?” Sonja asked intrigued. “You must have a huge closet.”

“MASSIVE,” the Doctor agreed. “I’ll show it to you sometime,” she said with a smile.

Sonja looked excited while a concerned expression fell on Yaz’s face. The Doctor once told Yaz she had a habit of tempting humans to see the universe- did that just subtly happen again? Did the Doctor just invite Sonja onto the TARDIS? “Not anytime soon, though-- right?” she asked, hoping the Doctor would get the hint.

She did. “Oh, yes. I mean, no! Very busy, right now-- that's me. Too busy. HUGE health crisis. But perhaps eventually. Where did your dad go?” she asked, changing the subject.

“Probably looking for the game,” Sonja explained. “He’ll be gone a moment-- Mum threw it out ages ago.”

“Shouldn’t someone tell him?!” the Doctor asked conscientiously.

Both Yaz and Sonja shook their heads. “He’ll just buy another one,” Yaz explained. “And then we’d have to play.”

“Don’t worry, though-- he enjoys the search. Finds so much stuff while he’s looking that he says it’s like Christmas.” Sonja added. 

The Doctor looked around again. “Where’s your mum?”

“Working,” Sonja responded. 

Yaz noticed the Doctor’s eyes starting to grow dark with worry. “She’s in hospitality,” Yaz explained. “She has to go into work sometimes--but she’s taking all the necessary precautions. She’s limited the amount of staff present at any given time. She instituted social distancing. She wears a mask. She even stays in her office, mostly, when she can. Since she’s the boss, she has some sort of control over the situation.”

“Control,” the Doctor mused. “Must be nice,” she muttered to herself. 

“Want to sit down?” Sonja asked the Doctor, motioning to the sofa.

“Thanks, but I should be getting back to the boys,” the Doctor responded. “Just wanted to check in. Make sure…” she stopped herself as her gaze fell on Yaz, not wanting her to know the true reason for her visit. “And I did!” she continued, leaving her sentence unfinished. "Nice to see you, Sonja. Say goodbye to your dad for me." The Doctor turned and started walking towards the door.

"Do you want to stay for a bit?" Yaz asked, following her. 

The Doctor spun around, surprised. "You don’t mind?" she asked cautiously, yet happily.

"Course not," Yaz replied.

"Did you bring any other beauty products?" Sonja asked. "It feels like ages since I've had a good makeover."

"Afraid not," the Doctor answered.

"No one's going to see you anyway, " Yaz teased. 

"My Instagram fans will!” Sonja countered. “And trust me-- they've noticed."

"I think you look rather beautiful," the Doctor complimented. 

"Thank you! Finally, someone with manners," Sonja said pointedly to Yaz. "What kind of beauty products do you use, Doctor?"

The Doctor shrugged her shoulders. "Can't say I ever have," she responded. 

"Wait… you've NEVER had a makeover?!" Sonja asked incredulously.

The Doctor shook her head while a huge smile came across Sonja’s face. Yaz looked down in embarrassment. The Doctor glanced questioningly at Yaz, then back at Sonja. “What?!” she asked.

************************************************************************************************************

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"This is the best thing ever," the Doctor declared. She was seated in a folding chair looking at her reflection in Sonja’s vanity mirror.

Sonja was holding the eye shadow she just finished placing on the Doctor and smiled at the mirror proudly. “I do my best when I’m under pressure.”

Yaz, sitting on Sonja’s bed, looked up at her sister. “What pressure?” she asked. “You haven’t had to do anything for weeks.”

“The world is in crisis,” Sonja feigned, looking back at Yaz. “And as a concerned citizen, I feel the stress that comes with that, deeply.” Yaz shook her head and smiled at her sister. 

"Why doesn't your society let men do this?!” The Doctor asked, still staring at herself. I would have LOVED something like this when I was…"

"Younger?" Yaz asked abruptly, stopping the Doctor from finishing her sentence with Sonja in the room. 

"Yes," the Doctor smiled embarrassingly. Technically not inaccurate, she thought-- she WAS younger when she was a man. Yaz was becoming adept at answering questions with half-truths. The Doctor made a mental note to ponder on that later. 

"I still can't believe you never had a makeover," Sonja reflected. "What, did you grow up under a rock?"

Good luck getting her to answer that, Yaz thought. Most of what Yaz knew about the Doctor’s home was divulged through others-- the Master, Captain Jack-- she even learned a little from when they fought a Dalek once. All of her knowledge came from those moments of crisis. The Doctor still kept herself a mystery. Yaz stood up, holding a curling iron in her hands. “My turn," she announced, gently nudging Sonja out of the way so she could reach the Doctor. She held a piece of the Doctor's hair, about to curl, when she stopped suddenly. Frowning, she leaned over to whisper in the Doctor's ear. "This isn't going to, I don't know-- catch you on fire or something, will it?" Curling irons were made for human hair. She had no idea what it would do to the Doctor's. 

The Doctor glanced at Sonja, unsure of how to answer with her in the room. "Never had my hair done before, either!” She exclaimed with excitement. “But I'm not nervous-- I’m always up for trying new things-- especially when they're not dangerous.” Actually, especially when it WAS dangerous, the Doctor thought, but left that part out intentionally.

Yaz smiled and took a strand of the Doctor's hair again. She rolled it up in the curling iron and began to count the seconds in her head. "Sonja, could you make us some more lemonade?" 

Sonja, sitting on her bed, had opened a fashion magazine. "Make it yourself."

"I could do it!" The doctor stated eagerly. "The boys don't have much faith in my culinary skills, but I could guarantee you the best lemonade in the universe."

"You're busy," Yaz reminded her.

“You still have plenty,” Sonja argued. “Look, the Doctor’s barely touched hers.”. 

"We're going to run out eventually, and besides-- I can't really leave, can I?" Yaz argued.

Sonja moaned. "Fine--since I’m apparently your slave." She left the room while Yaz lessened her grip on the iron, releasing the Doctor's hair into a curl. 

"I was wrong…" the Doctor stated in shock. Yaz stopped breathing. "THIS is the best thing ever!!!" the Doctor asserted, memorized by what she saw in the mirror. 

Relief flooded over Yaz. "I was afraid I had hurt you," she explained. 

"Not me," the Doctor comforted. "Time Lords can withstand almost twice the extremes in temperature as humans."

Yaz wondered if that was true, or if it was another exaggeration. "Did people curl their hair on Gallifrey?" she asked. Yaz wanted to learn more about the Doctor’s past-- wanted to get her to open up-- but she also knew what the Doctor had lost. Her questions had to be worded very carefully if she didn’t want to scare the Doctor away. 

"No. Well, not like this. That's the thing about living in such an advanced society-- you can do pretty much anything with that tech, but it lacks the personal touch. Quite literally in this case." The Doctor reached up with her hand and touched the curl.

"Sonja and I used to do this with our mum,” Yaz reminisced, curling another piece of hair. “And then to each other, when we grew older and got bored enough to be friends," she joked.

"It must have been nice growing up as a girl with a sister," The Doctor stated, still memorized by the curls. 

"I remember you said you had sisters once," Yaz mentioned, hoping she wasn't going too far. "Did they…"

"Yaz," the Doctor interrupted coldly, still looking at the mirror. Yaz winced, afraid she had pushed too hard. "I need you to do a favor for me," the Doctor continued, "and you're not going to like it."

"What?" Yaz asked, still holding her breath. 

The Doctor turned to face her friend. "Call in sick tomorrow, please." 

"What?" Yaz asked again, this time unsure if she had heard correctly. 

"I need you to take tomorrow off," The Doctor pleaded once again. 

"I can't call in sick during a pandemic," Yaz noted. "They wouldn't let me come back for weeks."

"Would that be so bad?" The Doctor implored beseechingly.

"Yes! For my career, yes, it would be!" She emphasized. "And why tomorrow all of the sudden?" Her eyes furrowed as she remembered the Doctor was a time traveler. Did she know something about tomorrow that Yaz didn't? "Is something supposed to happen?" she asked wearily. 

"Yes," the Doctor answered. Yaz held her breath in suspense. "Graham has a check up. I've been searching my brains all morning trying to find a solution." Yaz started breathing again, grateful that the fate of the universe wasn’t at stake. While it wasn’t quite the situation she was expecting, she knew the Doctor-- for her, making this choice was as comparable in magnitude as the end of the world. "I can't be two places at once, not without the TARDIS-- and I can't take her because you know she doesn't always like to cooperate. Especially when it means me crossing my own timeline." Yaz nodded. She always took note of when the Doctor personified the TARDIS. She wondered if the Doctor really felt that the TARDIS was alive, or if she personified it over the years as a way to cope with her extreme loneliness. Her heart sank at that thought. "I can't be there for you and Graham at the same time, so please-- stay home. Tell them you overslept, or you had to take a stray dog to the vet-- anything!" A thought popped into the Doctor’s mind and her enthusiasm peaked. "Not just a dog-- a puppy! Humans LOVE stories of puppies being saved! Tell your captain you found a whole litter of puppies and they would die without you-- he’d HAVE to let that slide!" The Doctor reached out and grabbed both of Yaz’s hands, her mood sombering. "Please," she begged. 

Yaz's shoulders dropped, but not in resignation. The Doctor could tell she was trying to come up with the words to let her friend down easily. Of course Yaz wouldn't call off during a pandemic, the Doctor thought-- not even for a day. Not if there was some good she could do. It was one of the things she loved about Yaz. But she had to try. She was, once again, stuck in the human world-- without the TARDIS-- without control over the situation-- desperate. 

"You're going to have to trust me to keep myself alive at some point, " Yaz stated.

The Doctor shook her head. "Not today. Not while there's a world-wide pandemic." 

"Could YOU just walk away?” Yaz countered, knowing the answer. “Could you do that, knowing there are people that would need your help?" 

"It's just for one day,” the Doctor tried to reason again.

"And when have you ever been able to pass by just ONE person?" she asked.

“Maybe I would if I only had ONE life to lose!” the Doctor asserted, forcefully defending her stance.

Yaz sighed. “I know you have told me many lies over the years. I know you think I believed them. But of all the lies that you’ve told, that's got to be the biggest one; and we both know it."

The Doctor turned to face the mirror again, knowing the conversation was getting her nowhere. She glanced back up at her reflection.

Yaz put her arms around her friend, giving her a hug from behind. Her chin rested on the Doctor’s shoulder. They were at a stand-still: Yaz holding to her principles, and the Doctor holding to Yaz’s safety. She wanted the Doctor to know that while it didn't change her mind, the concern was still appreciated. A moment passed in silence as they both looked at the Doctor’s reflection, thinking. "What do you see?" Yaz finally asked curiously. "Sometimes we'll walk by a reflective surface, and I notice you pause for a moment. What do you think about?"

"I'm still not used to this face," she replied. "Not really, anyway. I've had others for longer, and I've had so many of them that I'm not in the habit of caring much about what I look like. The exception would be after regeneration, I suppose-- then I'm curious. I take one good long look at myself, noticing the changes. So every once in a while, when I get the chance, I stop, just to make sure it's still me."

Yaz released the Doctor from the hug and fluffed her curls in the mirror. "It's still you," Yaz said with a sympathetic smile. And that’s the problem, the Doctor thought. If she could be someone else-- if she could care a little less-- would it be any easier? Throughout all of her regenerations, all of her changing personalities-- the cryptic, the cynical, the mad, and the sanguine-- she was still the same individual at her very core. PEOPLE are what mattered most to her; mattered over the instinct to keep herself alive; mattered over her desire to be right; even mattering over her own peace of mind. She had never been able to shut that off, even though for her sake she wanted to. For THEIR sake, she was glad she couldn’t.

The Doctor turned back to Yaz and stared at her intensely. Yaz knew that look. She didn't see it often, but it made her uncomfortable when she did. It was the look of the Doctor about to do something she knew she shouldn't-- something big. Crossing a line that she knew shouldn't be crossed. She was talking herself out of something, and whatever that something was had to do with Yaz. A minute passed by with that same intense look. “What is it?” Yaz asked nervously. 

The Doctor shook her head. The moment passed, and whatever it was had finally been decided. Yaz wished she knew what the Doctor had been debating. The Doctor took out her sonic and pressed some buttons. “Here,” she said, handing the sonic to Yaz. “Take this. Use it tomorrow.” Yaz reached out slowly and took it from the Doctor’s hands. “I’ve programmed it so you should just have to press the button. Scan the people you encounter-- make SURE they don’t have the virus. If they do…”

“I'll still have to help them, Doctor,” Yaz interrupted.

The Doctor shook her head. “If they do,” she continued, “promise me you’ll be careful. You’ll take precautions.”

Yaz looked up at the Doctor and smiled. “Are you trusting me?”

“I always trust you,” the Doctor responded. “But, yes-- I am leaving you on your own and hoping for the best.” 

Yaz's eyes furrowed, suddenly worried. "What if an alarm goes off because someone you've linked it to is showing symptoms?"

The Doctor shook her head. "It won't."

"How can you be sure?" she asked. 

"If it does, give me a call. But I believe in you. You can do this."

Yaz’s smile got bigger, and the Doctor’s hearts sank again. Please don’t be wrong, she told herself.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 10

Chapter 10: Monday

“Come on, Doc, stop pacing-- you’re giving me a headache,” Graham petitioned the Doctor as they sat in the waiting room for Graham’s appointment.

“Not sure I can,” the Doctor remarked, jittery. “Too many nerves. Need an outlet for it or my pent-up anxiety might ACTUALLY give your brain a headache…”

“Really?” Graham asked curiously.

The Doctor raised her eyebrows, as if she were fact-checking herself. “I suppose if you’re close enough in proximity,” she confessed. She pointed to her head. “Powerful Time Lord mind.”

Graham looked around, knowing the Doctor’s pacing was attracting the attention of the other patients in the room. For once he was grateful for social distancing-- the other patients sat too far away to hear their conversation.

"You know, THIS is why I typically travel with only one human," the Doctor thought out loud. "Easier to keep track of in times of crisis." Graham's ears perked at the mention of there being others. He knew she had other companions in the past-- he figured with over 2,000 years of traveling she would have had to-- but the Doctor never spoke of them, for one reason or another. "What was I thinking taking THREE of you on at the same time?!" She lectured herself. "Thought I was up to the challenge… I do love me a good challenge. I'll never learn..." 

“Why don’t you go to Yaz? It’d be better than running a hole through the carpet. You know who they’ll charge for that, yeah?” Graham joked, trying to lighten her mood.

“Then I’d just pace over you,” the Doctor dismissed. “And it’s hard to pace in a squad car--I tried it on Saturday. Multiple times.” Graham gave her an inquisitive look. “I didn’t say I succeeded!” she declared. 

“You just got to distract yourself,” Graham advised, trying to help as the Doctor continued pacing. “You know-- think of something else. Keep your mind busy.” 

The Doctor stopped and turned to Graham. “You’re not overly eccentric, so you might know...” she stated, starting to ask a question. 

“Thanks?” Graham replied. He couldn’t tell if that was a compliment or not coming from someone who claimed to love the bizarre and outlandish.

“How soon is too soon to make a call to check in when you want someone to think you’re not worried?” she asked.

Graham’s voice sombered. He patted on the chair beside him. “Come on, Doc--sit down.”

“I’m fine,” she waved him off as she started to pace again.

“Now would you just sit?!” he scolded loudly. “I’m going to play parent to YOU for a minute, and for once you’re going to listen!” The Doctor froze, stunned. His tone got the attention of the receptionist and the other patients in the waiting room as well, all of whom glanced up at him. Graham smiled embarrassingly and waved as an apology.

The Doctor slowly, cautiously-- almost awkwardly-- sat down next to Graham. “Didn’t realize you were so mean,” she stated sardonically without looking at him.

Graham allowed himself a moment to come up with the right words. “Doc-- what’s going on?” he asked.

The Doctor shook her head. “I’m just worried,” she started to dismiss.

Graham could feel his frustration rising. “Now would you just…” he stopped himself, realizing his voice was getting louder again. He softened. “Would you just talk to me? Come on, Doc-- it’s me!” The Doctor looked down at her lap and started playing with her hands. “You know what I think?” he asked. The Doctor looked up at him. Graham spoke slowly, choosing his words. “I think that sometimes you’re worried about how we’ll see you if you tell us what's going on up there." He motioned toward her head. "You go on about how we’re all the same deep down-- every people, every race in the universe-- and look, that may be true. It’s important for us to remember how similar we are, at heart.” This time Graham looked down at his lap nervously. “But I think sometimes you’re worried that you’re going to come off too alien. You’re scared that’s going to affect how we view you in some way.” He turned to look her in the eye. “We don’t have to be the same in order for us to care about you, Doc.” The Doctor looked as if Graham had caught her off guard. “I don't have to understand you completely in order to listen to you," he continued. "Sometimes it helps-- when you don’t have control-- to talk about it. Doesn’t change things, no-- not on the outside-- but on the inside, it makes a difference. I think it’s been a very long time since you’ve let someone help you.”

The Doctor turned away from Graham, emotionally affected. Graham looked back at his lap, unsure of what to say next. He also started playing with his hands. “You say talking helps when you don’t have control,” the Doctor started, “but that’s just it, Graham.” She stared at him intensely. “I COULD have control. I could have stopped this."

Graham looked at her, puzzled. “You said that you can’t change history," he reminded her. "Stopping the flu of 1918 could have meant Ryan was never born or something…”

The Doctor shook her head regrettably. “That’s not what I meant,” she stated.

“What then, like on the TARDIS? When you wanted to skip over these next few months? Head straight to when they’d have a cure?”

The Doctor shook her head again. “I almost did something terrible to Yaz yesterday," she confessed. "Something that would truly have been unforgivable. She would never have talked to me again, and I can't say I would have expected her to.” She glanced back at her lap in shame. "And what's worse-- I think Yaz knew." 

Graham watched the Doctor, waiting for her to open up more. "It can't have been that bad," he tried to comfort her.

The Doctor's mood sombered. “I almost took the choice out of Yaz's hands.”

Graham’s eyebrows furrowed questioningly. “How would you have done that?” he asked. 

The Doctor paused for a moment, unsure if she should mention more, but finally decided to. “It’s a Time Lord trick-- because we can connect to other minds.”

“Like a Jedi?" Graham asked. "The whole…” he pantomimed the Jedi mind trick with his fingers. 

The Doctor smiled to herself and shook her head. “Not quite. We can’t CHANGE people’s minds-- can’t even influence them. But I CAN connect with them; especially lower life forms,” she winced and turned to Graham. “No offense," she said apologetically.

“How could I be offended by that?!” Graham joked. He was offended, but wanted her to know he was still listening. 

“There were a couple of scenarios that ran through my mind-- I could have wiped her memory of the virus, then lied to her about the reason she needed to call in sick. She would have had questions, but I know her-- she would have trusted me. Or, I could have forced her mind to go into a deep sleep, and then kept her in it until I thought the danger had passed. Her family would have noticed, but they think I’m a typical doctor-- I could have told them she had the virus. I could have come up with a convincing cover story.” She leaned into Graham for emphasis. “I’m a REALLY good liar, when I have to be." She noticed that Graham didn’t argue. “I could have done SOMETHING, but I didn’t. And now if anything happens to her it’ll be my fault.” She shook her head and looked back at her lap. “But I was too worried-- scared of what Yaz would think of me when she found out. Scared that she’d decide to stop traveling on the TARDIS. Scared that she'd leave-- that you all would leave when you knew-- and then I'd be alone again.” Graham was still intently watching the Doctor. She looked away, averting his gaze. “I was too busy thinking of myself and what those actions would cost ME, and all I can think about now is how I should have done WHATEVER it takes to keep the three of you safe, whatever the cost.” She looked back up at Graham. “I can only imagine how you view me right now,” she stated, then looked back at her lap.

Graham paused, thinking. “Nah,” he stated. “I don’t believe that for a minute.” The Doctor looked back at him questioningly. “I mean, I don’t doubt you were tempted, Doc-- who wouldn’t be? But you won’t convince me that you’re really capable of taking away someone’s free will.”

The Doctor shrugged. “I have before, when I had to. Manipulated them. Forced an outcome. Wiped their memories of me for various reasons. When I was younger, it wouldn't take much of a reason at all.”

“Well when I was younger, I used to stomp my foot and make a ruckus every time my parents wouldn’t let me eat candy for breakfast. If you go by that logic, Doc, we're all hopeless.”

The Doctor shook her head. “It’s not the same thing,” she countered.

“I'm sure there were times when you felt it necessary, but come on-- you’re really telling me you haven’t grown any since then?” Graham asked her. "Look-- Doc, you’re amazing-- truly-- I mean, the things that you are capable of! You could easily rule this universe right now if you chose to, I really believe that. Sometimes, I may even PREFER it-- with the state of things,” he joked. “But you don’t. And I know why. It’s not because you’re worried about how we will view you. That might be in there somewhere, but it's not the main reason. It’s because--for all your longing for it--you’re not really after control. You just want to make things better. Take me, for example-- I wish I could lock Ryan in his room forever-- and not just during this crisis. We worry, don’t we? It’s our job. It's in our nature. But I encourage him to go out, because I know that one day…” Graham stopped and glanced at the room he used to take chemotherapy in. He fought back emotion, but it spilled slightly over into his voice. “One day… Ryan will be out there, without me.” The Doctor looked at him sympathetically. “And if all I did was protect him-- well, that would be a disservice, wouldn’t it? You have to teach them how to handle the hard stuff without you. Because for one reason or another, you won’t always be there. And then what?! Well, you would have created the very mess you were trying to prevent.” His look softened as he put a hand lovingly on the Doctor’s head. “You think you let Yaz go today because you were selfish? No. Don’t buy it. You’re the least selfish person I know. If you really thought controlling others was what was best, you would have done that by now. But you don’t want to dominate the universe, Doc. You want to watch it grow.”

The Doctor took that in for a moment, regaining her composure. Graham had, once again, been able to touch her hearts. “You ARE a wise man, Graham O’Brien,” she stated, her voice lighter. “I was never as wise as you when I was an old man!” She smirked at him.

“Oi! There you go again, with the insults! Lower life forms... partially eccentric...and after the moment we just had!” he joked. The Doctor laughed genuinely this time. Graham felt relieved as well, seeing a weight lifted off the Doctor’s shoulders. “I know I just said you can’t really do anything, but if you’re worried about Yaz, why don’t you just see what the sonic says? Since she’s linked and all.”

“Can’t,” the Doctor confessed. “I gave it to Yaz for the day. Hoped it would be of some use to her.”

“Hold on-- you mean to tell me that you trusted her with your sonic, but you didn’t even trust me to watch a spider?!” he bantered. 

The Doctor smiled again. Knowing that he was trying to lift her mood touched her as much as his pep talk did. “Maybe I don’t trust the spider to watch you,” she stated. “There is, after all, only one Graham O’Brien. And he is someone I can't afford to lose.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 11

Chapter 11: Still Monday

Yaz parked her squad car in a random lot trying to figure out how to read the sonic. Since the very first time she traveled with the Doctor she had always been curious about Time Lord Technology: dimensional transcendentalism; chameleon arches; the console on the TARDIS-- the list went on and on, each mechanism seemingly magical in her eyes. Yaz didn’t expect to be able to grasp most of what the Doctor’s people invented, but perhaps she could understand something about the sonic. It wasn’t often that the Doctor let her most prized technology out of her sights, and Yaz wanted to take this opportunity to figure out whatever she could. “Point and scan, she said,” Yaz remembered aloud. So she did-- she scanned herself over and over again. Strange symbols appeared-- the kind that looked a lot like the writing on the TARDIS. She assumed it was written in Gallifreyan-- so how was she to read it? How was she to know who had the virus and who didn’t? Did the Doctor put some kind of alarm on it that would go off if it detected the COVID-19? Surely she would have made it obvious enough that Yaz could understand it in some way? Yaz was so shocked by the Doctor’s trust in her that she didn’t think of much else. “Maybe I should have asked more questions,” Yaz thought aloud again. 

She glanced over to the passenger seat where the Doctor would have been traveling if she were there. Yaz had only brought the Doctor along once before-- why did things seem so quiet now without her? She had been doing this job for years-- why was she suddenly nervous that now, with the Doctor gone, she was going to make a mistake? 

Her thoughts turned back to the sonic and all that she had seen the Doctor do with it over the years. An infinite amount of knowledge and capacity crammed into one tiny device-- bigger on the inside. Much like the Doctor, Yaz thought. The more she studied the sonic, the less sense it made to her. Also like the Doctor, she thought again.

“Unit 975, we have a report of a 10-16 on Broad Lane,” the dispatcher's voice echoed through the squad car.

Yaz placed the sonic screwdriver into her uniform pocket and grabbed the intercom. “This is 975 responding-- I’m on my way,” she answered. 975-- domestic disturbance. Quite a lot of those recently. Everyone in close quarters, children home from school, and parents out of work-- all that stress boiling over with a lack of an outlet was the perfect formula for domestic violence. 

The voice on the intercom returned. “Sheffield Safeguarding Hub sending a social worker out to assist.”

Safeguarding Hub-- that means children were involved; “involved” meaning they were not just present-- someone had to have cause to believe there was possible abuse or neglect. Yaz readied herself. She thought about the times she would get together with her mates from high school to have a drink and swap stories of their adult lives. “I couldn’t do your job,’ they’d say. “Too depressing.” But that was the POINT, Yaz thought. These things were going to happen with or without her-- at least her being there could make a difference. With children involved, there needed to be a difference.

Yaz pulled up next to the building and walked up to the reported flat. She noticed a social worker standing outside waiting for her. “Do we know the ages of the children?” Yaz asked. Yaz read the report 3 times but it didn’t have much detail. Whoever made the report didn’t know their neighbors well enough to give such information. Chances were the social worker didn’t know, either, but Yaz figured it was worth asking. 

A loud thud could be heard coming from inside the flat before the social worker could answer. Yaz’s instincts kicked in and she knocked on the door forcefully. “Mr. Smith?” she shouted, loud enough for whoever was inside to hear. “I’m Officer Khan, Sheffield Police. I need to have a word with you.” There was no answer. Yaz knocked vigorously again. “I’m just here to talk. There was a report made concerning your safety. I need to make sure you’re alright.” The report was made AGAINST the people in the home, but Yaz found perpetrators were more likely to comply when they didn’t think they were in trouble.

A man appearing to be in his 30s suddenly opened the door, bringing him face to face with Yaz. She realized that in her haste to get inside she hadn’t even thought about putting ENOUGH distance between them. She had no idea if the person in front of her was infected with the virus. She couldn’t know unless she scanned him with the sonic, but how was she to do that nonchalantly? This man appeared hostile and the social worker next to her would be curious about the technology, to say the least. The Doctor made it look so easy. “You have got to be kidding me,” the man gruntled, leaning over the door.

“May we come in, sir?” Yaz asked as politely yet firmly as possible. “We just need to check in on the rest of your family.”

“She’s not a copper,” Mr. Smith mentioned, pointing to the case worker. 

“Sally Jones, Safeguarding Hub,” the case worker declared, holding up her identification.

Mr. Smith mumbled some explicits under his breath but left the door open as he walked away. Yaz grabbed the sonic out of her pocket and walked through the threshold, following him. She glanced around, examining her surroundings. She noticed a table flipped over and items-- including glass-- scattered across the floor. She noticed who she assumed was Mrs. Smith with a red mark on her cheek. She noticed the three holes punched through the wall. “Are there any weapons in the home, Mr. Smith?” Yaz asked, still scanning the environment. 

“Do I answer to you?” he asked angrily.

Yaz stared him down as authoritatively as she could. “Yes,” she replied. “You may answer here or at the station downtown-- the choice is yours to make.” 

“There are no weapons,” Mrs. Smith answered for him.

"Mind if I check?" She asked, holding up the sonic. "Specialized equipment," she explained, but immediately regretted it. What if he did have weapons on him? The sonic was set to detect COVID-19, not firearms. Could she say they were safe only to later learn there actually were weapons in the home? Would she be exposing the social worker and herself to unnecessary danger? She needed credibility in order to handle a domestic dispute without anyone getting hurt further-- would she lose all credibility with this family with her lie? 

Yaz’s heart stopped with an equally urgent thought. What if the sonic said one of these people had the virus? What would she do then? She had been on the streets with this disease for weeks and the thought of her being exposed to it had been real, yet hypothetical at the same time. She realized it only took ONE moment of carelessness to change things. She had always been so cautious, so prepared-- but the thought of children being hurt when she heard that thud outside the door caught her off guard. She had already gotten too close to Mr. Smith and he didn’t have a mask on. How much time did it take for the virus to attach itself to you? Could she already have COVID-19? Would she bring it home to her own family? If so, would her parents get sick? Would they survive? For the first time since the quarantine was in place she was actually, properly scared. She froze for a moment, wondering what she should do-- recognizing the safety of this family and her own was resting upon her shoulders, and feeling the weight that came with that realization. Sally looked up at her questioningly. 

Yaz took a breath. “Too late now,” she thought. She forced her hands to move and started scanning the family, hoping that the answer would find itself. She looked at the results. They appeared to be the same as Yaz’s when she kept testing it on herself-- Gallifreyan symbols with no alarms. “Looks like you were telling the truth, but would you mind emptying your pockets, just to be sure?”

Mr. Smith looked as if he were going to protest, but his wife interrupted. “Just do what she asks,” she said, emptying her own pockets. She pointed to Sally. “This lady is from the Safeguarding Hub. The more you resist, the guiliter you appear.” 

“No one is going to come into MY home and tell me what to do with MY family,” he argued. 

“You have to admit, Mr. Smith-- you do appear rather guilty right now.” Yaz countered, looking at the holes in the wall. “I’d say cooperating is your best option.”

Mr. Smith grabbed everything out of his pockets in one fell swoop and threw it on the ground, as if he were trying to make a statement. 

“Thank you,” Yaz responded, thinking that would be something the Doctor would say if she were there. She always had a way of calming down tense situations. “Do you have children, Mrs. Smith?” 

“Janet, please,” she answered. “And yes-- two of them.”

“What are their ages?” Yaz asked.

“Four and seven,” Janet answered cooperatively.

“Where are they now?” Yaz asked, motioning to Sally for her bit.

Mr. Smith interrupted hostilely. “In their room taking a nap like good children because I don’t need someone coming in and telling me what is right for my own family-- I KNOW HOW TO PARENT!”

Yaz fixed her gaze on him intently. “I understand losing your temper-- happens to the best of us. But I don’t understand why you think losing it with me here, right now, is going to end well for you. We’ve all been in tight spaces-- quite literally-- for a while. Tensions are bound to rise. We’re here to de-escalate and make sure no one gets hurt in the process. If you don’t mind, Sally is going to have a word with your children while I get a statement from you and your wife separately. Please wait outside until it’s your turn.” Yaz motioned to the front door.

Mr. Smith eyed Yaz in disbelief. “You’re seriously kicking me out OF MY OWN HOME,” he yelled. 

Typically Yaz wouldn’t let someone so hostile out of her sight, but if Janet had been battered by her husband, Yaz needed to get her on her own so she felt safe enough to talk about it. Yaz briefly thought about being the one to leave with Janet, but didn’t want Sally alone in the home with the children and a contentious man. It was her job to protect Sally, too. This was the imperfect yet better option. “I’d be happy to escort you to my patrol car if you’d find that more comfortable,” she declared. 

Mr. Smith shook his head in disbelief but left the flat. Yaz turned to Janet. 

“He’s not a bad man,” Janet said softly. 

“That mark on your cheek states otherwise,” Yaz countered. 

“He’s just… he’s been out of work, and the bills are starting to come in. He’s stressed, is all. Feels like a failure for not being able to provide for his family.”

“There are plenty of stressed people who don’t hit their wives,” Yaz countered. “I’m sure he has a better history, but if he hurt you, you need to be honest with me. The point of law enforcement isn’t to get someone in trouble-- it’s to get them the help they need.” Yaz glanced around at the table and glass on the floor. “By the looks of it, it’s at the point where he needs more help than you can give him.” 

“He’s never hurt the kids,” Janet answered. “If he’s arrested they won’t let him go back to work, and it’ll just be that much worse for us after. You’ve got to believe me-- he’s not normally this person.” Yaz paused, wondering what to say. She understood Janet’s hesitation, but she also understood human psychology. This may have been his first outburst, but chances were if he had reached this point it wouldn’t be his last. Statistically speaking, it would only escalate without intervention; yet that intervention would cost this family so, so much-- likely his job-- which would in turn feed into the problem. There was no good answer, Yaz thought-- that’s why it’s called a crisis. She sympathized with this family and, for a moment, was tempted to give in to Janet’s way of thinking and desperation. But Yaz had learned better-- learned from the Doctor. Rather there be a lost job than a lost life, she thought. She knew that was a much more complicated statement than it sounded-- almost, like the TARDIS, bigger when you’re on the inside of it. Knowing something and having to face its consequences every day were two different things. But that’s the biggest lesson Yaz learned from the Doctor over the years-- there was always hope. However hard, however long-- however dark and stressful and unpleasant-- there are always things that will help you along the way. There are always people who show up when you don’t expect them to. There are always resources that you never anticipated to find. There are always moments of joy you never believed would happen again. You will always make it through, even if you don’t feel like you will-- in fact, typically WHEN you don’t feel like you will-- in your darkest hour, when you swear there is no solution-- the moment you think you will never get through is often when you do. Yaz had learned to trust in that. Life as you know it can end and you find it still goes on. It’s like the Doctor said-- anything else can be built again-- but if you’re dead, nothing can bring you back. How was she to explain this to a desperate mom she had never before met? Where were the inspirational words this woman needed to hear? The Doctor had lost more than anyone and yet was full of hope. Yaz wished she could channel an inner-Doctor and give this mom some peace of mind.

“Will you take us to your children?” Yaz asked, letting Janet lead her and Sally into her children’s rooms.

************************************************************************************************************  
____________________________________________________________________________

“Pick up! Pick up, pick up, pick up…” the Doctor vocally wished as she impatiently dialed Yaz’s number. 

“Hello?” Yaz answered.

“Yaz!” the Doctor smiled in relief. “Hi! It’s me! The Doctor--in case you know more than one “me”, or were expecting more than one phone call,” the Doctor said, trying to appear calm and unworried. She cringed at her own last statement. “Not that you should have been expecting this call! I’m not anxious whatsoever. Even waited until after noon to reach out for that reason!” Yaz glanced at her phone-- it was 12:01. She smiled to herself. “That being said, just wanted to check in. Not in a ‘controlling’ type of way. Just, you know, reaching out to a friend.”

“How did Graham’s appointment go?” Yaz asked, changing the subject for the Doctor’s sake.

"Oh, he's fine,” the Doctor stated, sounding more relaxed now that she had something to talk about. “Course I knew he would be-- I scan him from time to time, just to be sure. Did it again yesterday before I gave you the sonic-- didn't want to go in today with any surprises." 

“Really?” Yaz asked. “Then why did you let Graham go? I would have thought it’d be too dangerous for him to be out in your eyes.”

The Doctor shrugged. “He needs to stay connected. Can’t let his oncologist drop him as a patient because of too many missed appointments.”

“Good point,” Yaz conceded.

"Anyway, I'll see Graham home and then where shall I meet you?" the Doctor asked curiously.

Yaz's heart sunk. “Already?” she asked. Did the Doctor only trust her for half a day? 

“What do you mean, ‘already’? It’s after noon, isn’t it? Did I not just say that...” the Doctor asked herself, thinking once again how little her companions listen to her.

“Shouldn't you take the rest of the day off?” Yaz asked. “I already told my captain you had a prior engagement. He’ll have questions if you show up now."

"He doesn't have to know," the Doctor offered. “You’re on patrol, right? Away from the station? Don’t see how he’d find out.”

"Won't Ryan get jealous?” Yaz argued. 

The Doctor made a questioning face, although Yaz couldn’t see. “Jealous? Of what-- me?”

“Yes,” Yaz responded. “You've spent all this time with me and Graham but you pretty much leave whenever Ryan walks into the room-- what is he to think?"

“I do not!” the Doctor defended herself.

“That’s what he told me this morning,” Yaz explained, unconvinced. “We text.”

"Why would he say something like that?! We had a solid…” The Doctor paused, trying to count the time. “...5 minutes the other day, just the two of us!" the Doctor protested, referring to her walk with Ryan two days before. Her voice lowered as it became less certain. "Perhaps 5 minutes isn’t that long when you live it the human way after all,” she thought out loud. She forced herself to focus on her conversation with Yaz. “But besides-- this isn't a vacation, Yaz. I’m supposed to keep you..." She glanced over at Graham, who was giving her a disapproving look and she stopped. The Doctor bit her lower lip, trying to come up with another reason she needed to accompany Yaz. "I miss my sonic!" She stated. "Feel human without it-- and you know what that's like."

Yaz’s eyebrows furrowed. "I thought you wanted to know what being human felt like," Yaz debated.

"No, I wanted the three of you to know and be amazed with how brilliant I could be at a human life-- not the same thing!” she countered. “Actually, reminds me of when I WAS human,” she reminisced, going off on a tangent. “Lasted a couple of months. Until a family of alien psychopaths attacked a boarding school trying to find my semi-immortal essence that I hid in a fob watch…” 

"I'll bring the sonic to you after my shift ends," Yaz interrupted.

"Are you… are you telling me no?" The Doctor asked, almost in disbelief. 

"You can come with me tomorrow and the day after that. Honestly, every day after that and I won’t mind." The truth was,Yaz DID feel safer with the Doctor there-- who wouldn't? The Doctor was the best resource this planet had when it came to fighting injustice, disease, and desperation. The point for Yaz had never been to decline life saving resources. The point was to get the Doctor to see her in a new light. Sure, the Doctor thought highly of her, but if she could get through one day on her own without getting the virus, the Doctor would think of her as capable in a way that she never had before. Maybe Yaz would think of herself as capable in a way she never had before. She NEEDED the rest of this day.

The Doctor opened her mouth to protest but nothing came out. She looked behind her and saw that Graham was still watching. “Fine,” she stated, as if it had been her choice. “But tonight, after your shift-- I’m not waiting until tomorrow. Text me when you’re done and I’ll meet up with you.” 

“See you then,” Yaz said with a smile, and hung up.

The Doctor put her phone back into her jacket pocket. “That was a good compromise, yeah?” the Doctor asked Graham as he approached. 

“It was… a good first step,” he stated.

The Doctor’s mood sombered. “I know what you’re thinking, Graham, but I don’t believe my protection of you three to be a bad thing. While I might be learning to see things differently, that part is not going to change.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” Graham admitted. He put his arm around the Doctor’s shoulder supportively. “Now, let’s see if we can’t keep you distracted. Wouldn’t want everyone to get a migraine while you pace back and forth waiting for tonight,” he stated as they started for home.

*************************************************************************************************************____________________________________________________________________________

“You can’t complain that I don’t spend any time with you and then want to leave the moment I share the one hobby I’m allowed to have!” the Doctor lectured Ryan as he stood as far away from her, yet in the same room as he could. 

“That’s not a hobby!” Ryan countered. “That thing is pure evil.”

The Doctor put her hands around Bill’s glass, as if doing so could prevent the spider from hearing the insult. “She’s not evil, Ryan! Give her a chance!”

“Her entire existence consists of her hiding in the shadows, waiting to suck the blood out of any creature that walks by. How is that not evil?!” he asked.

“That is so species-sentric of you,” The Doctor expounded. “Did you know she was born right outside that doorway? Hatched above your security light. Fought off predators right away-- an ant colony had spotted the new spiders and attacked. Watched a good portion of her brothers and sisters get eaten. How is THAT for a start in life?”

“So she eats other bugs for what, revenge?” Ryan asked.

“Course not! Can’t help that she's a spider. She needs to eat. You eat other mammals and I don’t think less of you!” the Doctor argued. “I knew you weren’t particularly fond of spiders, Ryan, but I didn’t realize you had such a phobia.”

“I didn’t use to,” he explained.

The Doctor looked up at him curiously. “What happened?” she asked.

Ryan looked at her in disbelief. “Are you for real?”

“What?” she asked, more confused.

“You did!” Ryan exclaimed.

“Me?!” the Doctor protested. “No…” 

“Those giant spiders almost ate me. They ate other people-- I saw them.”

“They didn’t technically eat anyone, just cocooned them out of confusion,” the Doctor corrected. “But I see your point. I didn’t cause the spiders to grow, though-- they were genetically engineered--by humans, I might add.”

“Look, all I know if before you, the spiders in my life were all normal. The day we brought you home there were suddenly space rhinos, fingerless eternals-- nothing’s been the ordinary.” Ryan countered. “Everything’s just been the impossible.

“Maybe the impossible has always happened, you just never thought to pay attention to it until now,” she explained. “It’s like when you hear a name you think is unique, and suddenly you hear it everywhere and you realize it’s been around forever. You’d be surprised what humans miss when they’re not looking.” She glanced back at Bill and tapped on the glass lovingly. “At least you pay attention to me…” she stated.

“Will you please put that thing… I mean, Bill... away for a moment?” Ryan asked. “Please?” 

The Doctor looked at Ryan sympathetically and put Bill’s glass back in her pocket. “Then what would you like to do?” she asked.

"I don’t know…” Ryan confessed, looking around. “Want some milk and cookies? I can go into the TARDIS and grab some. Then we could just you know, talk. Hang."

"No,” the Doctor reported. “If we’re going to do cookies, we're going to make them the old fashioned way. Put my culinary doubts of yours to rest once and for all!" she stated triumphantly.

"With what ingredients?" Ryan asked. "In case you forgot, you have yet to successfully make it back from the store."

"I've made it back!" She defended. "Just not with groceries…" 

“You actually made it to the store?” Ryan asked curiously. “What happened? Where did you go?”

The Doctor brushed off his questions and changed the subject. "All right- quick trip into the TARDIS kitchen to grab supplies-- the rest we do on our own." She walked out of the kitchen toward the TARDIS as Ryan followed her.

*************************************************************************************************************___________________________________________________________________________

"It's the technology that's the problem," The Doctor stated as she watched the cookies in the oven, begging for them to rise. "Got to be! It's the only thing that makes sense.”

Ryan bent over to look at the non- rising cookies himself. "This situation makes total sense to me," he stated.

"This" she pointed to the machine in Ryan’s kitchen. "This is not an oven! It's more of a hotbox waiting to implode. How do you people live off of this thing?! Might as well bake over a fire-- least then you'd get that wonderful campfire smell. I have a mind to take this apart and replace it…"

"Please don't," Ryan begged, remembering the explosion she made her first day in their flat.

“Wait 76 years until the griddle-melt is invented!” The Doctor exclaimed. “Then-- then you won't be disappointed.” 

"Something tells me we'd have the same results," Ryan countered.

"Oi!" She defended herself. "I'm sure it tastes the same..." she squatted so she'd be eye level to the cookies. "...even if it doesn't look quite right…" she finished her sentence with a hint of confusion in her tone. 

"I'm sure loads of people think the same thing before they give themselves salmonella."

"Oo!” The Doctor bounced back with an enthusiastic thought. “Perhaps I've invented a new dessert! The ‘Flat Cookie”-- the Flookie! That could catch on! Trademark, me,” she stated fervidly.

"Or perhaps you just don't know how to cook," her friend argued.

"It's all in your perspective, Ryan,” the Doctor admonished.

"Again, salmonella," he countered. "There's already one sickness going around-- you want to expose us to another?" The Doctor's face fell at the mention of disease. Ryan shifted uncomfortably. "I'm sorry. Didn't mean to… I know you're worried about Yaz."

"I can't keep track of it all, Ryan." The Doctor stated, leaning over the stove. She covered her eyes with her hands in stress. 

"I know. But look-- Graham and I-- we're inside, and we're not going anywhere…" 

"There are too many centuries-- too many methods of cooking-- to remember it all!" the Doctor interrupted.

"Huh?" Ryan asked, confused. “Not talking about... then…”

She uncovered her eyes. "Maybe when I was younger, but I've experienced too much since then. Too much information crammed inside these brains!" She slapped her head forcefully with her hands, willing herself to focus. "Right. Try again, once more. Back to the TARDIS. Hopefully she won't give us faulty ingredients this time."

"Because THAT was the problem…" Ryan bantered. The Doctor gave him a look. "Maybe if we followed the recipe…" he advised. 

"I don't need a recipe! I've studied with Lancelot de Casteau!" The Doctor defended herself.

"I don't know who that is,” Ryan confessed.

The Doctor looked at him incredulously. "He's the Anthony Bourdain of the 16th century!"

Ryan shook his head. "Still means nothing to me."

"It's settled!” The Doctor said energetically. “First trip post-COVID, we'll stop by the Belgian province of Liege. Good chap-- very friendly; if not a bit unhygienic, which I understand sounds ironic when it comes to culinary arts, but-- different era, different way of thinking. Anyway, he'll vouch for my cooking skills!" she stated with confidence. The timer went off and Ryan took the cookie sheet out of the oven. He grabbed a spatula and started to take the cookies off the pan, but was stopped by the Doctor.

"Wouldn’t eat that,” she instructed wearily. “Don't think you were too far off with that salmonella comment..."

Ryan made a disgusted face and smelled the cookies before opening the wastebasket and throwing them away. Both the Doctor and Ryan’s ears perked when they heard a knock on the front door. 

Graham had already answered it as the Doctor and Ryan walked into the living room. “Yaz! Good to see you, sweetheart. I know it’s only been a few days, but still-- been too long,” he stated, giving her a hug.

“Is it night-time already?” The Doctor asked. She looked at Ryan. “You are good at distracting!”

Ryan smiled and waved to Yaz as the Doctor also turned toward her. She stood still, reminding herself to breathe. Yaz faced the Doctor and did the same. They stood there for a moment until Ryan decided to break the silence. “Be right back-- going to grab some more ingredients,” he explained. He opened the door to the TARDIS and disappeared. 

"So…” the Doctor started, trying not to appear as eager as she was. “How did it go?" 

Yaz nodded her head slowly. "Alright" she answered.

"Yeah?" The doctor asked, hopeful. Yaz reached into her pocket and pulled out the sonic. She handed it to the Doctor, who immediately started to scan her.

"I scanned myself, too. It was negative, I think," Yaz answered, seemingly unconvinced.

The Doctor looked at the results and raised her eyebrow. "You're right," she said, half surprised and fully relieved. She looked up at Yaz and smiled enthusiastically. "Never doubted you!" she lied, grateful to be wrong. 

Yaz smiled back. "Could we talk privately?" Yaz asked, motioning outside.

"Of course," the Doctor answered, curious as to what Yaz had to say that she didn’t want anyone else to hear. Surely she hadn't done anything in the last few hours that would get her in trouble, she thought to herself. Then again, these were humans she was dealing with-- she could never quite figure them out. 

Ryan came out from the TARDIS with a basket of chocolate chip cookies, eating one as he closed the TARDIS door. 

"You cheated!" the Doctor lectured him. 

“Salmonella...” Ryan reminded her.

The Doctor made a disgusted face. “Right…” she conceded. “Be right back,” she announced, putting a hand on Yaz’s shoulder to guide her outside.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Author’s note: I know the last few months have been unforeseeable to say the least, and with many places starting to open up next week I just wanted to take a minute to thank all of the essential staff that have been carrying the world’s weight since this health crisis began. Your dedication, education, and sacrifice has gotten us through some pretty dark times and we owe you not only our livelihoods (all the workers who brought food to our tables and energy into our homes) , but our very lives. The medical staff who have risked their own health and have been quarantined away from their families; the media who kept us up to date; the groceries and markets; the internet companies; the schools that have delivered food to their students; the list goes on and on. And, of course, our own BBC Doctor Who family. They didn’t have to do anything, but decided to cheer us up with their various surprises anyway. It was such a nice gesture. Those 3 minute videos and short stories have brightened my days, given me something to look forward to during this quarantine, and proven that goodness still exists in this world of uncertainty. I’m not a trained writer, but I hope to be able to convey the sincerity of my gratitude-- please know that there are people that really, TRULY appreciate it. 

I know many of us in Indiana are nervous for the reopening of society-- at least I am. I think I’m extra cautious because I have actually lost two children in my family to disease, albeit a different kind: my nephew, Leland, and my niece, Caida. Leland died in 2018 from pneumonia. He was 9 years old. He was born with schizencephaly, which made him medically vulnerable. A virus an ordinary human could have fought off killed him. Caida suffered from epilepsy and died this past August. She was 14. She was the funniest kid in the whole world [no, I’m not biased :-)]. To say she is missed doesn’t even begin to describe the everyday nightmare we live without her. There are many things I learned from these two miracles, but one thing in particular is pertinent to now: they suffered greatly, every day; but they also had happy, full lives. They had personalities that cannot be replaced. They gave us memories that I look back on and laugh at, and although there wasn’t nearly enough time, those memories get me through. So I think to myself during this time when money is tight, the world is medically fragile, and the future is uncertain-- you can be truly happy while you are struggling. Caida and Leland were proof of that. PEOPLE are what matter. People are the only things that matter. Everything else will sort itself out. In other words, you can be happy and miserable at the same time haha. I haven’t quite mastered that trick like they did, but I am working on it.

I’m 3 weeks away from delivering my first baby, and when my daughter is born she will be the only child in our family. I was nervous before the health crisis because 1. I’m an older mom (I’m 35 and considered “at-risk” for that alone), and 2. Having lost every child my siblings had, I worry my daughter will suffer the same fate. And now I am terrified of giving birth to Kaiyah in a world with a pandemic, so I think it’s only natural that I’m nervous for the reopening of Indiana. But I also have seen people in my own city take care of each other in truly remarkable ways. Every-day humans who have put messages like, “I have an extra gallon of milk if anyone needs it” on facebook. People who volunteered to bring food to at-risk populations. People who have driven in parades past a child’s house because they can’t have a birthday party. These are scary times, but so many in the community have really stepped up and shown that not everyone is an idiot haha. So although I am terrified, I am also cautiously hopeful that (with wisdom and precautions) this can work out. 

Thanks for being my free therapy session haha. May we remember the lessons this pandemic has brought us. It doesn’t mean that our experience with COVID was worth it, but it does mean that we, as humans, were. 

-Charissa Darland 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------*************************************************************************************************************

Yaz brought the Doctor to the spot where she usually parked the TARDIS. This place had become a bit of tradition, the Doctor noticed. So many conversations and gatherings had happened here. So many comings and goings. So many memories. It was a kind of home they all shared together, and the Doctor was happy to have that-- a home.

This time it was Yaz who started to pace. So that’s how it feels, the Doctor thought. Watching someone you care about be this anxious was torment. She felt guilty that Graham had to watch her in that state this morning. The Doctor let Yaz pace for a moment, giving her the opportunity to open up when she was ready. When it became apparent she wouldn’t be ready, the Doctor broke the silence. “Are you angry with me again?” she asked cautiously.

Yaz stopped pacing and looked up at the Doctor. “Why would I be angry with you?” she wondered. 

The Doctor shrugged, but was secretly relieved Yaz’s angst didn’t have to do with her. “What is it?” she asked sincerely, her eyebrows furrowing in concern. “Did something happen?”

Yaz shook her head, partially as an answer and partially in self-defeat. “I was so sure,” she answered.

“About what?” the Doctor questioned. She could feel her hearts starting to race. She did scan Yaz with the sonic, didn’t she? And she was negative for the virus? What was Yaz so worried about?

“I was so sure I could do this without you,” Yaz started, “but…” 

The Doctor’s eyebrows furrowed again, but this time in interest. “But, what?” she probed.

Yaz shrugged her shoulders, struggling for a lack of words. “I froze,” she answered. The Doctor kept silent, letting Yaz continue. “There was a moment today when people were in danger, and for the first time since this pandemic started-- I don’t know… it was like, it became REAL. I always recognized it was on some level, but this time FELT it. I knew the danger I was in, and I froze.” 

The Doctor took a step closer to Yaz, sympathizing. “These are unsettling times, Yaz. I'd be worried if you weren't affected. Being afraid means you understand what’s at stake. Fear isn't your enemy--it keeps you cautious, which keeps you safe."

“This fear almost kept me back,” Yaz argued. “Kept me from helping others, from doing my job. For the first time I wondered, would I still help them if I knew I could be infected? Would I treat them differently if they could get me sick? Or would I call for backup and then put my fellow officer’s life at risk instead of mine?” The Doctor’s eyes softened as she looked at Yaz with compassion. Yaz took a step closer to her. “What does that say about me, Doctor?” she wondered in a moment of self-crisis. 

“That you’re human,” The Doctor answered, understanding.

“You’re not human,” Yaz stated. “This entire time I was trying to be like you, but now I wonder-- can I ever really be?”

The Doctor shook her head vehemently. “I meant that you’re a person. A wise one, who listens to her brain. That’s all fear is-- your experience telling your intellect that you’re in danger. There’s no shame in that, Yaz. Actually, it’s brilliant! Your amazing mind is telling you that Yasmin Khan is too valuable a person to lose. That helps me worry about you a lot less, actually-- knowing that you realize how serious this can be.” 

Yaz closed her eyes in self-disappointment. “I’m such a hypocrite…”

“You are NOT,” the Doctor argued sternly.

“I’ve been putting all this effort trying to get you to see me in a different light, but I should have been looking inward,’ Yaz scolded herself. “This is not how I thought I’d react in a time of crisis. This is not who I thought I’d BE.” She looked up at her friend in agony and shrugged. “Doctor, I don’t know who I am anymore.”

“Does it matter?” The Doctor remarked. “Look at what you accomplished today, DESPITE not knowing.” Yaz wondered if the Doctor could actually see somehow. She wondered what exactly the Doctor knew. “You’re too close to yourself, Yaz-- you will never see the Yasmin Khan that others do, so stop trying! Stop asking yourself who you are. Today you asked yourself, ‘who do I WANT to be?’, and you CHOSE that. You forced your legs to move forward, and you got through. THAT’S what matters-- that’s how you make a difference! People were helped who wouldn’t have been otherwise. Lives were put on a better path because of your intervention.”

“But what kind of person am I, if none of that came naturally?” she asked.

“It never does,” the Doctor explained. 

"It does for you!” Yaz countered. “You put yourself in danger to save others all the time, and you never hesitate. I've seen you run up to cybermen and daleks without thinking."

"Oh, there are lots of thoughts,” the Doctor countered. “And there’s loads of fear."

Yaz thought about that for a second. “You don’t show it,” she noted.

“Solid poker face and two thousand years of practice-- how long have you been around?” the Doctor insisted. Yaz looked away, knowing the Doctor was right, but not yet ready to forgive herself for her perceived imperfection. “Personally, I would much rather trust someone who chooses how they will act over someone it comes naturally for, because we all naturally change. We all evolve in so many ways. Those who make an effort-- those who fight against their natural instinct-- THAT’S something you can trust in. That’s character. You have so much character inside of you, Yaz-- always have. There are 7 billion people on this planet-- I tend to pick my friends carefully.” 

Yaz smiled to herself. She knew the Doctor was trying to make her feel better (and she was actually starting to feel better)-- but it was more than that. Again, the Doctor didn’t flatter people to please them. She meant what she said. She actually believed in Yaz and, for the first time, Yaz FELT it. Maybe Yaz wasn’t ready to let herself off the hook for her self-perceived inadequacies, but it helped to know that someone like the Doctor honestly, truly believed in her as a person.

“I know you’re scared,” the Doctor continued. “The coming days and months are going to be more uncertain as people start to emerge from their homes and there will be a greater chance of you being exposed on the streets. But remember that fear is an amazing tool, if you train it correctly. It keeps you alive, and I am a very big fan of an alive Yaz.”

“You know you’re good at this pep talk thing, yeah?” she told the Doctor with a smile.

The Doctor smiled back. “It’s not easy for me, either. I can’t even get this virus and I’m afraid. My fear-- my initial instinct-- is to let you run to the TARDIS and hide away for the rest of this pandemic. Had you been Ryan or Graham, I would have encouraged you to do so. Short of a vaccination, the only way this is going to end is with precautions. Sometimes the smartest, bravest thing you can do is to listen to that fear and hide away. But your case is different. You’re a police officer, and a brilliant one. There are people in this city who need you. So we both have to-- not set aside our fears-- but manage them-- and train our brains to use them for the purpose that they were intended-- to keep us and others safe.” She stepped up to Yaz and grabbed her by the shoulders proudly. “Yasmin Khan, listening to her brain and fighting against her unfavorable instincts-- sounds like all the makings of a true hero to me. This virus doesn’t stand a chance.” Her voice became lighter as she started to reminisce. “I actually knew a superhero once. I actually CREATED a superhero once. Well, by accident, but still. There’s something about Christmas that’s full of surprises, even for me. Turned out alright in the end, though! Who knew a rare gemstone from the depths of space would come in handy against a bunch of aliens intent on swapping out human brains for theirs?!” The Doctor ended her tangent to see Yaz’s questioning gaze. “What time is our shift tomorrow?” she asked, changing the subject. “I can’t wait to see you in action!” She interlocked her elbow with Yaz’s, and the two friends started the walk back to Graham’s flat. 

“Did I hear something about salmonella?” Yaz asked, replaying a conversation she had heard earlier.

“Oh, Ryan could REALLY use a cooking lesson or two,” the Doctor responded emphatically. “Gratefully he has me, and I have all the knowledge of Lancelot de Casteau.”

“Who?” Yaz asked curiously.

The Doctor shook her head in disappointment. She had so much to teach these three still. “How much do you know about 16th century Belgium?” she asked, as they continued their walk.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 13

Chapter 13: Tuesday

“So how did it work in earlier times, when cities started to reopen?” Yaz asked the Doctor as they were parked at a Subway, eating sandwiches for lunch.

“I suppose the closest comparable pandemic to this era, culturally and technologically speaking, would be the Flu of 1918. But I wasn’t in Sheffield those days.” She took a bite out of her sandwich and spoke with her mouth full. “Actually, I was in New Orleans! Side note-- did you know that it was called the Spanish flu because, although it appeared in other countries first, every-day people were kept in the dark about its existence due to media censorship during World War 1?” 

“Sounds harsh,” Yaz remarked, taking a bite out of a sandwich herself.

“It was,” the Doctor admitted. “Harsh times.” 

“New Orleans, though?” Yaz asked curiously. “Really?” The Doctor, still eating, nodded enthusiastically. “In America?” Yaz asked again.

“You sound surprised,” the Doctor noticed.

Yaz shrugged. “It just… it seems you’re always in England.”

“Well, you’re always here,” the Doctor announced, “so where else would I be?!” Yaz was pretty sure there was more to it than that, but let her friend continue to speak. The Doctor put her sandwich down to free up her hands. She couldn’t help it-- she was an animated person. She liked talking with her hands for emphasis, and there was something about teaching a generation about the past that thrilled her. “New Orleans was one of the hardest hit cities, being a hub of trade and traveling. Mix that with a decent percentage of poverty, which led to a lack of healthcare and education-- perfect mix for a catastrophe! New Orleans had 734 more flu deaths per 100,000 people than other cities its size--and that was after they had people die from a bubonic plague just four years earlier. They were also battling yellow fever.”

Yaz smiled to herself-- not over the mention of deaths-- but of course the Doctor would choose the worst of the worst as a place to frequent during a pandemic. Where else would she be? “How did they come out of it, then?” Yaz asked, opening up a bag of crisps. The Doctor reached into Yaz’s bag and grabbed a handful. “Oi!” Yaz objected.

The Doctor ignored her protests. “The government had to get involved. Literally painted giant ‘Qs’ on people’s doors as a warning to others to stay away. Penicillin wouldn’t be discovered until 1928, and before then pneumonia was practically a death sentence. It was rampant in the States. Well, it was rampant EVERYWHERE, but it took some US cities longer than most to institute social distancing.” The Doctor looked out the window as Subway customers walked by. She watched as if she were counting the customers and judging how far apart they were standing. She looked back at Yaz, who instinctively covered her bag of crisps. “Did you know Walt Disney survived the virus?!” The Doctor asked zealously. “Between you and me, never was much of a fan of his. Fancied himself a scientist but REFUSED to believe in artron inhibitors when they were right before his eyes . The conversations we had!” She grabbed some more of Yaz’s crisps and smirked at her playfully. “Love his movies, though!”

Yaz shook her head at the Doctor and smiled back. “You know you have your own bag,” she reminded her.

“Yours is better!” the Doctor argued, her mouth full of Yaz’s crisps. She swallowed. “Anyway, I told them that early intervention was the key-- always is-- but, as you know, humans don’t pay attention to me. They missed that option, and they had to fight their way back. But they did! In December of 1918 the government started educating its citizens about sanitation-- hand washing, coughing in public-- basic practices by today’s standards. They staggered store and factory hours-- even asked people to walk to work so they could avoid public transport! They finally took it seriously, and they were able to get it under control by the end of February, 1919.”

“New Orleans was among the hardest hit, and they had it under control that next year?” Yaz asked, impressed. “In the middle of winter, with no antibiotics?” The Doctor nodded. “And… you were there…”

“Pure coincidence, I’m sure.” The Doctor smiled, waving off Yaz’s implication. She opened her own bag of crisps. Her mood suddenly darkened. “It wasn’t easy, though. The death toll was massive, and the implications from it more so-- both emotionally and financially. You asked how they got back to normal, Yaz--they didn’t. Many of the public health rules you have today actually stem from those times, one way or another. Your society has learned from its predecessors, Yaz. I just hope they’ve learned enough.”

Yaz looked at her friend sympathetically. “I imagine it couldn’t have been easy to watch, either.”

“No,” the Doctor said sadly. She paused a moment and looked back out the window, watching the people as they walked inside the fast food shop. Yaz handed the rest of her bag of crisps to the Doctor. She smiled at the gesture and took it. Yaz took another bite out of her own sandwich. The Doctor took the sonic screwdriver out of her pocket and scanned Yaz while she was eating. Yaz looked at her questioningly. “Just checking,” the Doctor explained. “Never know what microbes the nice people who made our food might have had!”

Yaz stared at the sonic, lost in thought. "Do you speak in English when you talk to us, or do you speak in Gallifreyan and the TARDIS just translates it?"

“Can’t say anyone’s ever asked me that before,” the Doctor said thoughtfully. "Can't say I've ever PAID ATTENTION to that before," she emphasized.

That wasn't an answer, Yaz noticed. The Doctor was an upbeat, optimistic person, but every once in a while Yaz swore she could see anguish in the Doctor’s expression. The Doctor had helped so many people, but never let anyone help her. Yaz wanted to help. And, having traveled with the Doctor for two years now, of course she was curious to learn more about her mysterious friend. The Doctor may have a mission-- to keep Yaz safe; but Yaz had a mission as well. She was determined to get the Doctor to open up, about anything. "Could you teach me something in your language?" Yaz asked.

"Afraid not," the Doctor replied. "Literally. Even if you could pronounce it, the TARDIS would translate it into your language immediately, so there's no effective way to teach you."

"Then why can't I read the symbols on the TARDIS? They aren't translated into English." She asked. "Or your sonic? It’s in Gallifreyan. When you gave it to me, I wasn’t sure if I was understanding it right."

"You’re full of questions, aren't you!" The Doctor exclaimed, deflecting the attention on herself.

"You say questions are good," Yaz countered.

“When they’re not about me, yeah, they’re brilliant!” The Doctor handed Yaz her own bag of chips as an exchange for the bag Yaz gave her earlier. “Do you want to learn how the bubonic plague made it to New Orleans right before the Flu of 1918?!” she asked enthusiastically.

"How many languages do you speak?" Yaz interrupted, unhindered by the Doctor’s deflection. 

"All of them," the Doctor stated nonchalantly.

"You speak EVERY language? And not just by the TARDIS translation circuit-- you speak it yourself?"

"When you've been around as long as I have, Yaz, you're bound to pick a language up here and there,” the Doctor answered her. 

“But what if…” Her thought was interrupted by a voice on the intercom.

“Unit 975, there is a report of a 507 at B&M Haymarket.”

Yaz glowered at the intercom radio. She finally had made some progress with getting the Doctor to talk-- granted just about languages, and only for the last two sentences or so, but still-- now it would have to wait. Yaz picked up the intercom. “975 responding,” she answered the dispatch coldly. 

“Are you alright, Yaz?” the Doctor asked, oblivious to the cause of Yaz’s sudden change in mood..

This time it was Yaz who chose to ignore the question. “You have your mask, yeah?” she asked her friend. The Doctor held her mask up as proof. “Good,” Yaz replied. “You’re going to need it.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 14

No one likes to admit they tantrum as an adult, Yaz thought, but they do. 507-- a public disturbance. Yaz’s least favorite and most frequent calls. She understood losing your temper, but to the point where someone had to call the police?! How many times had she seen children reprimanded in public, yet adults acted the same way. Sometimes Yaz wondered why the Doctor liked the human race so much.

A man appearing to be in his 40’s approached Yaz and the Doctor as they entered the B&M store. “Thank you for coming, Officer,” the man stated hurriedly. “We typically try to settle these disputes on our own, but this one was starting to get violent.”

“And you are?” Yaz asked.

“Watson. Christopher… I’m a day manager here,” he replied. 

“You said things were getting violent?” the Doctor noted with concern. 

“Well, a violence of sorts-- more of an escalation. It’s settled down now. We have the customers responsible in the staff conference room with security,” he clarified.

“What happened?” Yaz asked.

“We’ve had to implement some stringent regulations recently. Customers were taking too much for themselves-- mostly sanitation items and non-perishable foods: anything that could be stocked up on. We were losing supplies faster than we could order them. Meanwhile, other customers haven’t been able to buy basic supplies in weeks. Headquarters temporarily instituted restrictions on how much of one item each customer could buy at a time. None of our patrons are particularly happy with the new rules, as you can imagine, but they typically just grumble at the cashier. This is the first time, in our store, that it’s escalated.”

“Sorry,” the Doctor interrupted, still concerned about his word of choice. “You keep saying ‘escalated’-- escalated HOW, exactly?” Yaz knew the Doctor was worried someone had been hurt.

“Best show you,” Christopher answered. He escorted Yaz and the Doctor to the store’s security area and pulled up the video footage. The Doctor and Yaz watched the scene play out again on camera. A woman with a shopping cart rounded the corner into the household essentials aisle. Three children followed after her. It was hard to tell the ages of the children on the camera, but Yaz guessed the oldest couldn’t have been more than 11. The woman eyed the shelves, and spotted it-- the last of the toilet paper. At that same time, a younger woman carrying only a shopping basket spotted the coveted prize. Carrying less, she was able to move more freely. The woman with children abandoned her shopping cart and ran up to the shelf, but she was too late-- the younger lady had already grabbed the toilet paper. Angry, the woman with the cart yanked the toilet paper out of the other woman’s hands. 

“You can’t hear them, but there was quite the exchange of words,” Christopher remarked.

“I imagine,” Yaz agreed, still watching the video. The younger woman didn’t give up. She clutched the toilet paper, still in the other woman’s arms, and the two started wrestling for it.

“You would have thought this was a game of American Football,” Christopher denoted.

“Would have been a good move for Football,” the Doctor acknowledged. “If you’re going for civility, not so much.”

The woman with the children won out in the end and turned to place her conquest in her shopping cart. Suddenly, the younger woman grabbed a box of facial tissues and threw it at the other woman’s back. Yaz and the Doctor both grimaced. “Definitely not one for civility,” Yaz agreed. The woman with children spun around to face her opponent. Grabbing a pack of paper towels, she lunged it forward, hitting her adversary in the head. Yaz could see other customers stepping in to stop the fight. “Humanity at its finest,” the Doctor commented. Yaz glanced at her, embarrassed to be human, before looking back at the video. She could see the children standing there, flabbergasted. She thought about her own parents and how scary it would be to see them get into an altercation with a stranger, even at her age. She wondered if these children had ever seen their mother act that way before. She wondered what her own parents’ breaking point would be. 

“That’s Joanne Adams and Michelle Armstrong,” Christopher said, pointing to the younger woman with the basket and the woman with the cart respectively. “I didn’t get the names of the children.” He turned to Yaz. “I need to get this matter settled quickly. We are already struggling as a business-- if we keep having these outbursts, customers will not feel safe enough to return.”

“I understand, Mr. Watson,” Yaz assured him. “Gratefully, I brought an expert in de-escalation,” she stated, turning to the Doctor. 

“I was about to say the same thing about you,” the Doctor admitted, smiling.

Yaz smiled back. “You ready?”

“The two of us? With our masks?!” the Doctor answered, proudly pointing out how she hadn’t yet lost her facewear. She turned to Christopher. “Lead the way!”

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Christopher led Yaz and the Doctor to the conference room where security was waiting with Joanne, Michelle, and the children. “I thought YOU were the police,” Joanne spoke to the security guard.

“Yaz, wait…” the Doctor urged as Yaz approached the pair. She took out her sonic and scanned the women, not caring to be stealthy this time. She looked at the results and nodded at Yaz in approval.

“I didn’t steal anything, if that’s what you were told,” Michelle barked at the Doctor, mistaking the sonic for some type of theft-detecting device. 

“Never hurts to be sure,” the Doctor remarked, going along with the lie. 

“I’m Officer Khan with the Sheffield Police. This is the Doctor.” Yaz introduced themselves. “I understand there was an altercation.”

Joanne stood up, heated. “Before we begin, I just wanted to say-- I am a law abiding citizen. None of this would have happened had I not been provoked! But what was I to do?! I was attacked by that lunatic!” She pointed to Michelle, who was still sitting next to her three children. “I wasn’t thinking, I just reacted! What kind of a person yanks something out of a stranger’s hands?!”

“So, ‘she started it’?” Yaz asked, hinting at the childishness of Joanne’s statement.

“Is THAT your story?!” Michelle interjected, standing up herself. “Don’t believe her, Officer! She saw me going for that roll and she purposefully snatched it right from under my nose! And with my children right there, terrified! We’re completely out of toilet paper at home, but does she care?! No, she’s too selfish for that! I was the one who was provoked! I was just protecting my children...”

“I’m sure she didn’t know your children were out of toilet paper, Ms. Armstrong,” Yaz added, attempting to mitigate.

“I did not steal anything from your children,” Joanne stated dryly. “You’re using them as a diversion to get pity from the police.” She turned to the kids. “I’m sure you’re real proud of your mum!”

“Excuse me?!” Michelle argued, taking steps toward Joanne.

“I was in this same situation once!” The Doctor stated as she walked around the conference room, looking at everything and taking it all in. “Only, instead of toilet paper, it was a baby-- two women both claiming to be the mum.”

“Doctor,” Yaz whispered. “That was King Solomon.”

“Blokes always take the credit, don’t they!” she whispered back. “‘Course I was a bloke back then as well. And I didn’t recommend they cut a baby in half--that’s all wrong! Goodness knows your lot would have taken me seriously, especially back then. I told them to do a thorough background check into each woman. Almost introduced DNA a few millenia too early. Purely by accident, but can you imagine what the ramifications would have been?! Gratefully, I was stopped by...”

“Doctor!” Yaz exclaimed again, cutting her off.

The Doctor looked up at the two bickering women and noticed the confused looks on their faces. “Not helping, am I?” she asked. 

Yaz turned back to the women as well. “I spoke with the store manager and he’s decided not to ban you, despite this outburst-- seeing how there’s a national crisis and all.” Both women looked relieved. “Says he’s getting another shipment of toilet paper tomorrow.”

“You want me to come back tomorrow?” Michelle asked incredulously. “Risk my health and that of my children TWO days in a row?! For what-- toilet paper?!”

“You did just risk getting arrested for it,” Yaz pointed out.

“I shouldn’t have had to!” Michelle countered. “I want that woman cited-- she ATTACKED me!” 

Joanne rolled her eyes in annoyance. “So what, since I don’t have children, I don’t count as a person? I need toilet paper, too, you little…”

“Have you thought about a delivery service?” The Doctor asked them both, interrupting Joanne’s insult.

“Tried those,” Michelle answered, “but they were always out of everything I needed! Also, got too expensive. With kids, every little bit of money helps.”

“There you go again, bringing up the children! Are they your excuse for everything?!” Joanne argued angrily.

“YES!” Michelle contended. “If you had someone to think about other than yourself, you would understand!” 

Yaz was starting to get a headache. “Look, the truth is we’ve all got limited resources and ample reasons to be selfish,” she interrupted. “But if you both want to avoid a hefty fine, possible jail time, and being a bad example to any child-- related to you or otherwise-- you will go home, manage your anger like adults, and be grateful that no one is pressing charges for the scene you caused today.”

“Did you know toilet paper started being manufactured in the 14th century?!” the Doctor asked, playing with a cup of pencils she had found on the conference table. “During the Ming dynasty in China. Other parts of the world used what they could find-- grass, leaves-- stones in some cases. Not particularly comfortable nor sanitary, but humans have always been good at making the best out of whatever situation they found themselves in.” The Doctor stopped playing with the pencils and looked at both women, noticing the disgusted look on their faces at the mention of toiletry alternatives. 

“What does that have to do with us?” Joanne asked.

“Still not helping, then?” the Doctor questioned. “Well, how about this-- I know what you were thinking, the both of you. You were thinking, if only you lived in a world where everyone put each other first, you wouldn’t have HAD to act this way. But you see everyone panicking and taking more than what they need, and all you can think about is if you don’t follow suit, you or your family will go without.”

Both women shifted uncomfortably. “It’s a ruthless world, love.” Michelle answered her. “Don’t like it, but in order to survive, you have to be ruthless as well.”

“I never believed much in that,” the Doctor commented. 

“Then how do you explain how we got here?” Joanne asked. “It was the selfishness of others that caused there to be no supplies in the first place, was it not? And what am I-- what are WE-- supposed to do without any toilet paper?!” she motioned to both herself and Michelle.

“We!” the Doctor exclaimed happily. “LOVE that pronoun, we. And I love that you’re starting to use it!”

“I’m sure you’re resourceful enough to come up with something until tomorrow.” Yaz responded. Michelle opened her mouth to speak, but was silenced by Yaz. “I really don’t want to know what that solution is,” she shuttered.

“So you’re just… going to let us go?” Joanne asked. “Just like that? No citation, no nothing?” She pointed to Michelle. “Who’s to say she won’t just do it again tomorrow, to someone else!”

“In 2008 a poor village in West Africa heard that there was a recession.” The Doctor stated, once again turning her attention to the cup of pencils. “The leaders of the village congregated together and made a decision: if everyone could have just one good meal a day, that was all they needed. The excess rations would be sold and the money given to those ‘less fortunate’ than themselves. You know who they shipped the money to?-- America.” She turned to face them. “They heard people were hungry in AMERICA. Can you imagine?” She took a step closer to the women for emphasis. “Can you FEEL that? Can you feel their concern, their worry? A developing country’s compassion for the plight of citizens among the richest in the world. If families could make a sacrifice like that for people they didn’t even know, surely you two can find a way to make due for each other. After all, you know each other now. You know each other’s names. Joanne, you know that Michelle has three children. You know that she’s worried about how she’s going to take care of them when money is tight and resources are low. She might have had ulterior motives for mentioning them, but deep down her children are all she can talk about because they’re all she can think about. And Michelle, you know that Joanne is facing this pandemic alone. All the stress, fear, and financial insecurity that comes with this virus, and no one to share that burden with! Can you imagine?” She took another step closer. “You two live in the same city. You travel on the same roads. You shop at the same stores, your taxes go to the same healthcare and education systems-- and, of course-- you’re both desperate for the same basic needs. You have a lot more in common than you realize!” The Doctor glanced at the three children and paused before turning her attention back to the adults. Yaz knew the Doctor had a soft spot in her hearts for kids, and the way she looked at children of any species made Yaz wonder what type of experience she had with them. “You say you have to be ruthless in order to survive, but here you are-- having been ruthless-- and you’re STILL without! You don’t have to choose between livelihood and kindness. Very few times is life a choice between two extremes. There’s usually a third solution, a fourth, etc.-- but before you can find those solutions, you MUST believe they exist. That’s why hope is so important. For instance, I hope that you won’t remember this day as the day you had the police called on you, but the day that your mind was changed. I hope if you meet again you will remember each other’s struggles, and you will choose to be kind. I hope that you, Joanne, and you, Michelle-- and your children, and the store manager, and Officer Khan, and everyone else in this city will realize that you’re all in this together. The ONLY way you’re going to succeed is by combining the strength of your humanity-- not by breaking each other down and giving in to your selfish tendencies.” Yaz realized the tension in the room had decreased considerably. Both Michelle and Joanne appeared thoroughly contrite. “As a doctor, I have one last hope,” she stated. The Doctor took five black strips out from her pocket. “This is a sort of thermometer,” she lied. “It’ll let me know if any of you have a temperature and are in need of medical treatment. I HOPE you will let me use these on each of you. Do you mind?”

Both women looked at each other uneasily, but shrugged in agreement anyway. The Doctor first gently placed the strips on the children’s foreheads, smiling to make them feel more at ease. She reached into her coat and pulled out some lollies. “Can’t visit a doctor without these,” she stated, handing the candy to the children. She then turned to the women and placed the strips on their foreheads.

Joanne winced. “Starting to burn, Doctor.”

“That’s just the adhesive,” The Doctor stated dismissively. “Should pass in a moment. Meanwhile…” she turned to Michelle. “Do your children like pudding?” She asked. “You didn’t happen to buy any today, did you? No particular reason…” She glanced around Michelle, attempting to appear casual (and failing at doing so)-- looking for any shopping bags in the rare chance that Michelle was able to buy something before this incident.

“I want pudding!” the youngest of the children-- a girl-- commented. 

“Should have expected that,” The Doctor admitted out loud. She knelt down so she could be eye-level with the little girl. “You have a lollie-- best not to have too many sweets.”

“Why not?” the child asked inquisitively.

The Doctor shrugged. “It’s something most adults say to children, so I assume it’s good advice.” Her enthusiasm returned. “Now, if you ever find yourself on the moon of Caseflonga, there IS a dessert that tastes like pure sugar, yet ironically helps human bodies with the breakdown of…”

“Doctor.” Yaz stated again, interrupting her friend before more questions were asked than she wanted to answer. Yaz turned to Michelle and Joanne. “You’re free to go.”

Yaz and the Doctor waited until the room cleared out. They spoke with the security officer and store manager once more before exiting the store themselves. “Stones?” Yaz asked, remembering the Doctor’s earlier comment. She made a disgusted face herself. “Really?”

“It’s only been relatively recently that the western world was synonymous with advances in technology. Grass doesn’t grow year-round, Yaz. People used what they had. Which is one of the reasons I’m fond of your time. I’m a LOT more comfortable here-- literally.” She smiled reminiscently. “I do love the earlier millennias as well. Perhaps just love Earth in general. Nice to not have to hold it in until I get back to the TARDIS, though, so if I had to choose a time to be stuck on Earth during a pandemic, I would choose yours.”

“Thanks?” Yaz half stated, half asked. She thought upon the “adventure” she and the Doctor just shared. “How come you linked them to the sonic?” she asked the Doctor curiously. “You’re never going to see them again.”

The Doctor shrugged. “You never know.”

Yaz smiled. Of course she would link as many people to the sonic as possible, she thought. But there was something else… something about the way the Doctor didn’t look at her when she answered-- that got her attention. Her smile began to fade. “Doctor…” she started to ask as they approached the squad car.

The Doctor turned around to face the store. “Perhaps I should have gotten some groceries while I was here,” she thought out loud. “Oh well. Can always do that later, I suppose!” She opened the passenger-side door and sat inside.

Yaz looked back at the store herself. “Yeah, later...” she told herself, having heard about the grocery debacle from Ryan. She wondered if the Doctor really was just thinking out loud, or if that comment was made to distract her from her question. She opened the driver’s door and got in.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 15

Chapter 15: Mother's Day

"Are you sure you don't want to head back?" The Doctor asked Graham as he leaned against a fence, trying to catch his breath. Graham had woken especially early today and insisted he needed some exercise. He had intended a nice "leisurely" stroll, but with the Doctor's energy they may as well have been running.

"Don't worry about me, Doc- this is…" he struggled for breath again. "This is good for the old ticker!" He pointed to his heart.

The Doctor took out her sonic and scanned Graham. She glanced up at him, mildly concerned, after looking at the results. "Best take a break," she cautioned. Graham secretly sighed in relief as the Doctor leaned against the fence as well. "We've been out for a while now," she mentioned. "Not like you to wander so far from home."

"Oh, well, you know what they say- no time like the present to take charge of your health," Graham lied, hoping he sounded convincing.

The Doctor looked up at the sullen sky. It was a cloudy day and the wind cut at an angle, making Graham shiver as they walked. She looked at her friend suspiciously. "Won't Ryan be waking up soon?" she asked. "He'll be wondering where we are."

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about him. I left a note."

"Did you?" The Doctor asked, disbelieving.

"I mean, I texted him," Graham tried to cover up his fib, nervous now that he realized it wasn't working.

"When?" she asked curiously.

"Well look who wasn't paying attention this time!" he bantered.

The Doctor smiled at his playfulness and looked back up at the sky. She wondered how long she should let Graham try to lie to her before she put a stop to it. She was interested to know where he was going with this story- why he was lying to her. A thought crossed her mind and she could feel her chest tighten and her blood pressure increase. She faced Graham suddenly. "He's not at the grocery's, is he?!" she asked him in fear.

"What? Who?" Graham asked, confused.

"Ryan- is this an elaborate scheme to get me out of the house so he could make a run to the store?" she asked him pointedly.

"No!" Graham protested.

"If you're lying to me, Graham…" the Doctor warned.

"No! I mean, yes- it was a lie," he answered truthfully, seeing her concern and worrying about her own heart rates. "And yes, we were trying to keep you out of the house for a bit, but look, Doc- Ryan's at home, and he's fine," he reassured her.

The Doctor's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Is someone coming over you don't want me to meet?" she asked. She lowered her voice. "Does Ryan have a secret girlfriend?!"

Graham shook his head. "Not that he'd tell me about, I'm afraid," he answered.

The Doctor was both relieved by the lack of disease entering the home and mildly disappointed by the lack of gossip. Both emotions showed on her face. "Then why are we here?" she asked Graham.

Graham shifted uncomfortably. "It's Mother's Day," he explained. "And well… well, I guess we thought…" He glanced at the Doctor awkwardly. "Seeing as how … And you know, Grace being gone and all." The Doctor raised her eyebrows in confusion. "And Ryan decided… so here we are!"

Yaz had previously asked if the Doctor spoke to them in Gallifreyan and the TARDIS translated it into English. The Doctor was so fluent in languages that she had never really thought about it much; but now she wondered if the TARDIS did translate, and if that translation was off.

"Look, we just wanted to do something nice for you." Graham stated. "Nothing fancy, but … a surprise of sorts."

"For me?!" the Doctor asked him, caught off guard.

"Yeah, of course you! I imagine this is your first official Mother's Day in the UK- or at least, you know, as a woman."

The Doctor raised her eyebrows thoughtfully. "I suppose it is," she realized.

"You're the leader of our team… and the head of this family, of sorts. We just wanted to do something to show how much we appreciate, well- all you do for us."

The Doctor's face softened. Human traditions always fascinated her. Because Time Lords regenerated into either a man or woman at random, you could be a "mother" one moment and a "father" the next. The culture she grew up in didn't have an equivalent to "mother's day". It somehow made the human holiday more special. She never dreamed that someone would equate that role to her, and she was genuinely touched. "Graham," she started to speak. Graham looked at her questioningly. "It's really cold," she finished.

A gust of wind swept through, almost taking Graham's opened jacket with it. "Yes it is," Graham agreed with a chuckle. "Now that the secret's out, should we head back?" he asked.

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Graham took out the keys to his flat and unlocked the door. The Doctor stepped into the home, excited. She found streamers hung around the living room, and a "Happy Mother's Day" sign she could tell Ryan made himself. She could also smell something from the kitchen- pancakes. Nothing fancy, but the gesture made it smell impeccable to her. She beamed as Ryan came out of the kitchen.

"You're early!" he complained.

"You need to cook faster!" Graham countered.

"We said be back at nine," Ryan reminded him, pointing to the clock.

"Come on, you'd have to have known she'd figure it out- she's the Doctor! And I'm not exactly the world's best liar now, am I?" Graham argued.

Ryan turned to the Doctor. "Well, come to the kitchen then and have a seat! It's nothing grand, I'm afraid- still don't have a lot of ingredients…" he paused and stared at the Doctor pointedly. "But I made due," he resumed. "Cooked it myself, since you seemed big on that." The Doctor looked around at the decorations again, emotion showing on her face. "Thought we'd spend the day doing whatever you wanted to do for a change," Ryan stated.

The Doctor looked at Graham and Ryan affectionately. "Can we play Charades?!" she asked enthusiastically.

"Charades?" Ryan responded cautiously.

"It's a game. I've been hearing about it for centuries, but never actually found the time to play!" she said, excitement radiating from her. "I understand the irony of that statement..."

"Yeah, but, of all things… THAT'S what you would choose to do…" Ryan asked again, trying to wrap his mind around her logic.

"Whatever she wants," Graham lectured. "Right?"

Ryan shrugged in surrender. "It's your day," he answered.

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"Anima device!" the Doctor shouted as Ryan mimed patting something down.

"A what?" he asked, confused.

"Wait, no! Paradox machine!" she guessed again. She lowered her voice. "Remind me to NEVER get stuck in one of those again." Ryan and Graham both looked at her, baffled.

"Don't give up now, you've got 15 second left!" she scolded. "I've got it- a fusion booster!"

"I don't even know what you're saying," Ryan argued. The timer on his phone went off, signaling the end of his turn. "The answer was SNOWMAN," he stated. "See- I'm packing the snow and rolling it up into a ball?"

The Doctor sank back on the sofa in disappointment. "I thought you'd be better at this, Ryan. You're typically such an expressive young man."

"You were just making things up!" he accused. "What's a fusion booster?"

"It boosts fusion," the Doctor answered nonchalantly, as if it were obvious.

"Pretty self explanatory, that one," Graham agreed.

"Don't act like you understand her," Ryan lectured.

"You must have seen me work on mine a dozen times," she commented.

Ryan was about to protest when he heard a knock on the front door. "Must be Yaz," he explained.

"Yaz is coming, too?" she asked happily. "For Mother's Day?"

"She requested the day off especially for this," Ryan answered. "I mean, there is a quarantine. Seeing as she has a mother of her own to celebrate, and how her family doesn't know that you're a time-traveling alien with the technology to tell who has the disease, I'm not sure how long she'll be able to stay…"

"But yes, she came," Graham helped end Ryan's sentence as Ryan opened the front door. The Doctor beamed brighter, happy to have all four of them together again for any amount of time.

"Hey!" Ryan exclaimed, giving Yaz a hug as she walked in. He glanced down at the container of raspberry sweet rolls Yaz was carrying. "YES!" he exclaimed in delight. He took the container from Yaz. "You see, Doctor- THIS is how you bake," he lectured.

"I imagine she followed a recipe?" the Doctor asked.

"I imagine she did," Ryan agreed.

"And who do you think CREATED that recipe?" the Doctor insinuated, as she gave Yaz a hug herself. Yaz tensed slightly at her touch, and the Doctor pretended not to notice.

"No," Ryan protested. "I would believe it if you told me you created the moon, but you will never convince me that THIS," he held up the sweet rolls, "was you."

The Doctor turned back to Yaz. "We're playing Charades! Practicing for when I go up against your dad. Want to be on my team?" She lowered her voice. "Ryan's rubbish at Charades- we'll give him to Graham." Both Ryan and Graham protested simultaneously.

"Sure," Yaz answered with a smile the Doctor could tell was forced.

Ryan and Graham started heading back toward the sofa, but the Doctor remained motionless. "Are you all right, Yaz?" she asked. The concern in the Doctor's voice caused the boys to pause as well.

"I'm fine," Yaz said with a smile. She walked to the sofa, grabbing a sweet roll from Ryan on her way. The Doctor followed as Yaz sat down.

"Are you sure?" she asked. "Because Graham already tried lying to me today. Ask him how that went."

Yaz shrugged, waving off the Doctor's worry. "We can talk about it later."

"I'd rather discuss it now," the Doctor admonished. "You know I won't be able to concentrate on anything else until I learn what's bothering you, and then Ryan will win the game and think he has some talent," she joked.

"I can hear you..." Ryan protested.

Yaz shook her head politely. "Today was meant to be a good day for you, Doctor," she stated. "Let's just let it be a good day, as we planned."

The Doctor tensed, realizing this was about her. "Would you rather speak in private?" she asked, motioning to outside.

"NO!" Yaz said. It came out a little too forcefully, and she realized it. She forced her voice to become more steady. "Sorry, no. I'm afraid if it's just you and me, you'll talk me out of it."

"Out of what?" the Doctor asked.

"Really, let's just play the game and…"

"Yaz!" the Doctor interrupted forcefully. Ryan and Graham froze, feeling like the air had been sucked out of the room.

Yaz looked down at her hands, trying to avoid eye contact with the Doctor- although she knew there was no way to avoid the conversation. "The other day, at the market… you linked the customers to your sonic, and I asked you why." She looked up at her friend. "Do you remember?"

The Doctor nodded. "You said I would never see them again," she stated.

"Something about your answer didn't sit right with me. I was about to ask you again, but I couldn't. For the past few days I've been trying to figure out why not, but now I realize- it's because it was the wrong question." She stood up and walked over to her friend. "I asked you, 'why did you link them to your sonic.' I should have asked you… DID you link them to your sonic?"

The Doctor looked back at Yaz in confusion. "You were there, Yaz. You know I did."

Yaz turned away and started pacing. "Because I got to thinking, why would someone like you need to keep track of complete strangers?" she asked.

"Maybe she wants to find out what happened to them," Ryan commented.

"Makes sense," Graham agreed.

"But she's a time traveler," Yaz argued. "She could have just gone back to the TARDIS and looked up their fate."

"I'm not in the TARDIS much these days," the Doctor stated cautiously, wondering where the conversation was headed.

"Maybe not," Yaz acknowledged, turning back to the Doctor. "But then I thought about right before we got the call, when we were at lunch. You scanned me."

It was the Doctor who froze this time, and it was apparent to everyone in the room.

"You must have scanned me a hundred times since the quarantine started, and I asked myself, why would you need to scan me if I was linked to the sonic already?" Graham and Ryan looked at the Doctor as well. "You could have just looked at it and known if I had the virus, couldn't you?"

The Doctor shrugged timidly. "Force of habit," she meant to state, but it unwittingly came out as more of a question.

"And at Graham's appointment, you said you scanned him before he saw his oncologist. You said you didn't want any surprises."

"You did?" Graham asked.

"Not now, Graham," the Doctor hushed him worriedly.

"But you shouldn't have HAD to scan him. Again, if he's linked to your sonic, you should have been alerted if something were wrong."

Graham shook his head. "Look, I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation…"

"And right before you gave it to me, I told you I was worried those alerts would go off. You told me- you were SURE- that they wouldn't. At the time I just thought you were trying to reassure me, but now I can't help but think it's something else. I think you KNEW it wouldn't- because it COULDN'T- because we aren't linked." The Doctor's heartbeats froze once more. She had to remind herself to breathe. "So the question becomes, if we aren't linked to your sonic, Doctor- what did you do to us?"

The Doctor stood there in silence, unsure of what to say. Graham studied her face. There was so much about her he still didn't know. She had confessed to him that she had the power to connect with their minds and take away their memories. Were they in some sort of dream-induced state? Did they think they were spending their time living through a pandemic when in reality they were asleep, safe on the TARDIS?

"What were those black strips?" Yaz asked again, not backing down.

The Doctor closed her eyes in defeat. "A vaccine," she stated. There was intense silence once again as Ryan, Graham, and Yaz were all caught off guard by her answer. The Doctor opened her eyes and looked back at them. "I gave you three a vaccination."


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 16

Chapter 16

“I’m sorry, WHAT?” Graham questioned, trying to wrap his mind around this revelation. “You mean, you’ve had a vaccination this whole time?”

“And we’ve been immune this whole time as well?” Ryan asked in disbelief.

Yaz shook her head, the pieces of the puzzle suddenly coming together. “Of course she had a vaccination,” she answered for her friend. “She’s the Doctor.”

“But… it didn’t feel like no vaccination to me,” Graham conceded.

“Starting the 23rd century vaccinations can be done percutaneously,” the Doctor elucidated.

“What?” Graham asked again, struggling to understand.

“Through unbroken skin,” the Doctor explained. “The burning sensation you felt was the immunization absorbing into your bloodstream. In the future, unless you need to get it inside of you faster, there’s no reason to inject immunizations.”

“How many other vaccines do you have access to?” Yaz asked curiously. The Doctor looked away again, not answering. 

“It’s a time machine,” Ryan considered. “‘Loads’ probably doesn’t begin to describe it.”

“Yeah, but Doc,” Graham took a step closer to her, shaking his head, “We’ve been in quarantine this whole time-- why didn’t you say anything?”

“You’re not going to like my answer,” she acknowledged.

“I don’t like being lied to by my friends either,” Yaz interjected, “but here we are.”

The Doctor looked down, choosing her words carefully. “Two main reasons. As a Time Lord, there are strict rules against interfering in the natural evolution of a species. If only this disease were caused by an alien intruder-- oh, I wish it was, because THEN I could do something about it! But it’s not. It’s native to this planet. It’s a part of its story. I can guide, I can help, but if I CHANGE history, the consequences could be disastrous!” she explained. “One wrong move as a time traveler and the heroes of tomorrow may never exist. Humanity may never reach the stars, and the people you and I have met in the future may disappear forever. To see suffering and let it occur is the burden of a Time Lord; not the burden of humanity.”

“Except you’ve given the vaccination to everyone you’ve met,” Ryan argued.

“I never said I was GOOD at being a Time Lord!” the Doctor contended. 

“And the other reason?” Graham asked. “The one we’re not going to like? Don’t get me wrong, Doc-- knowing that we’re sitting on medicine the rest of the world could desperately use is rough and all, but we’ve known that rule of yours for a while now. Why keep the three of us locked away?”

The Doctor took a deep breath before she spoke. “Most vaccinations are 85-98% effective. That’s still a 2-15% chance of acquiring the virus AFTER inoculation. The goal is ‘herd immunity’. It means that, worse case scenario, if everyone is vaccinated the virus goes from being able to infect 100% of the population down to 15%. With each of those cases being further isolated, your chances of getting infected diminish with the passage of time, until they practically disappear.”

“Like smallpox,” Ryan mentioned.

The Doctor nodded her head in agreement. “Your people won’t have a proper working vaccination ready for the public until mid-2021. There may be treatments before then, but vaccinations themselves take time to test out and distribute safely. There is no herd immunity without a vaccination. Chances are, you will still be exposed to this virus, and there is still a 2-15% chance that it could infect you.”

“But my 2-15% compared to my co-workers’ 100?” Yaz contemplated. “Those odds seem pretty good to me; especially considering I’m young and healthy-- and probably now immune-- while my colleagues aren’t all that lucky.” 

“This is why I didn’t tell you, Yaz,” the Doctor argued. “Because I KNOW you-- if you knew you were inoculated, you would put yourself in danger-- you would volunteer to take every shift, every COVID-19 call. You would take your coworkers’ place whenever you could, and you would be exposed a thousand times more than you already are! And not just you...” The Doctor turned to Ryan and Graham. “The three of you would be reckless!”

“I don’t think ‘reckless’ is the right word.” Yaz countered, “We’ve been VACCINATED.” 

The Doctor shook her head. “The immunization I gave you is from the future and viruses mutate over time-- who’s to say the vaccine I gave you will even work against today’s strain? 

“You are,” Yaz countered. “You wouldn’t have given a vaccination to us if you didn’t know it would work.” She shook her head in disbelief. “It’s like an instinct for you, isn’t it?! Even now, after you’ve been caught, you can’t stop lying! You are so desperate to win-- to have control-- that you will say ANYTHING get what you want! Even if it means manipulating us.”

“I am trying to keep you safe!” the Doctor defended herself. 

“You say you want to protect humanity, but look at what you’ve done! You put my coworkers’ lives on the line! These are people I know and care about-- people with families who depend on them; people who are getting older. Some of whom have underlying health conditions that put them at risk, and you’ve decided-- on your own-- that my POTENTIAL danger is worse than their ABSOLUTE one; that my life is worth more than theirs. Well, it isn’t, Doctor!”

“It is to me!” the Doctor yelled loudly, grabbing Yaz by the shoulders and catching the others off guard. “I understand you are upset with me, but if the choice is between you or Ryan and Graham and the rest of the world-- no matter how minutely small that risk is-- I would choose the three of you EACH time! I wouldn’t even have to think about it! I have given up EVERYTHING. I have lost so much, and so, so many people. When you entered the TARDIS you put your life in my hands, and I have a duty: to you, to every companion who is gone; to every victim that I wasn’t able to save; to every soul from every plague I watched leave this world--and you may be angry with me, Yaz-- you may never want to speak with me again-- but one thing you will NOT be is dead!” 

Yaz took a step back in fear. It took a moment to regain her composure. She glanced at Ryan and Graham and could tell they were feeling the same way. The Doctor was capable of the most incredible beneficence, but there was a side to her that you didn’t cross. Although the three humans rarely saw that side-- although the Doctor tried hard to hide it from them-- they knew it was there. Yaz felt that line nearing closer, and it genuinely scared her. 

“I’m sorry,” the Doctor said, softening. “But I can’t watch…” The Doctor looked away in emotion, struggling for words. “Not AGAIN...” 

Yaz willed her voice box to work, regardless of her fear. “And I can’t stand by and watch others get sick and die from something I may be immune to,” she stated.

“Which is why I didn’t tell you,” the Doctor stated, practically begging. 

“I know.” Yaz stood up straighter. “But it’s no longer your choice, Doctor. It’s out of your hands.”

The Doctor stopped for a moment and looked at her friends intensely. Was it out of her hands? The three of them were near the TARDIS-- she could keep them there. Extend a force field or two-- no human could leave without her say. She could wipe their memories-- they’d never know-- then trick them into the TARDIS and head straight for the future where they would be safe. She looked at Graham, who knew what she was thinking. Graham once told her he didn’t believe she was capable of such things. The look on his face now said he was unsure. 

The Doctor looked down. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t cut it this time!” 

“Yaz...” Graham started.

“No!” She cut him off. “You’re a mystery, Doctor-- always have been. Don’t like it; wish it were different-- but you’re entitled to the secrets in your life. You’re not, however, entitled to secrets in mine.” She took a step closer to the Doctor. “You should have told me I was immune. Even if you didn’t trust me, you should have respected me enough to give me the truth. But you didn’t. And in the end, THAT is why you’ll always be alone. Not because of some plague or some insanely long life span you happen to have over the rest of us: but because you CHOOSE to be.”

The Doctor’s face fell, emotionally hurt. “Yaz…”

“You could let people in. You could let people help you. You could let people learn a little about you, even. You’re an empathetic person, Doctor--how would you like it if we kept things from you?”

“That’s not the same thing,” the Doctor countered. 

“How is it not the same?!” Yaz argued. 

The Doctor knew they were, once again, at a standstill. She glanced at the TARDIS, tempted anew to follow through with her instinct to wipe her friends’ memories and go back to the way things were before this quarantine-- back when ‘normal’ consisted of dodging intergalactic threats and surviving monsters. The every-day lives they were living on Earth were so much harder. The Doctor grabbed her jacket and headed toward the door.

“Where are you going?” Ryan asked.

“Best to remove myself from the temptation,” the Doctor answered; a remark that confused everyone in the room but Graham. She caught a glimpse of the “Happy Mother’s Day” sign Ryan had made for her. Was it really just a few minutes ago that they were all laughing, celebrating the family they had created? Human time felt so foreign. The Doctor smiled at her friends sadly before leaving the flat.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 17

Chapter 17

“I can’t believe I actually feel sorry for her,” Yaz admitted as she paced around Graham and Ryan’s flat. “WE are the ones she lied to-- that she’s BEEN lying to this whole time.”

“Look, I know we’re upset,” Graham rationalized, “but maybe we’ve got to start looking at things from her perspective.”

“I’m tired of seeing things from her perspective!” Yaz argued. “I’m tired of making allowances for her deception.”

“Maybe it’s a Time Lord thing,” Ryan postulated. “Maybe it’s got something to do with the way their brains work-- their morality’s different. Maybe they’re incapable of knowing why it’s wrong to lie.”

Yaz shook her head and started to pace again. She knew the Doctor wasn’t human, but she liked to believe she had enough insight into the Time Lord’s psyche to know that her dishonesty was an intentional choice rather than a mindless compulsion.

“Maybe it’s a human thing,” Graham added. “Maybe it’s us, always expecting people to tell the truth.”

“Is that so wrong?” Yaz asked incredulously. 

“Look, I’m not too happy about this, either,” Graham admitted. “Would have been nice to know I was out of the woods, ESPECIALLY with my cancer-- and I’ve been worried, with you out in the open, exposed to who knows what.” 

“Not worried about me, then?” Ryan joked.

Graham ignored his grandson’s attempt at levity. “There’s still so much we don’t know about the Doctor, right? BUT, we do know about PEOPLE. People, unfortunately, lie. And while it’d be nice if they didn’t-- and there are definite reasons they SHOULDN’T-- to me, the lying isn’t the main thing. It’s the intent behind it.”

“I know she has the best of intentions,” Yaz declared. “She’s the Doctor. She thinks she’s doing the right thing. She thinks she has to do it alone, because she’s amazing and brilliant and it’s in her nature to save. But it’s also in her nature to manipulate, and after two years of being the one manipulated, I don’t think I’m out of line to be cross about it.” Ryan nodded his head, trying to figure out his own feelings regarding the situation. Yaz continued. “I don’t know if I can go every day like I have in the past, wondering what the ulterior motive is; wondering if she’s trying to get away with something; wondering if she’s sincere.” She stopped pacing and turned to face her friends. “If you don’t tell your mates the truth, how can they know who you really are?”

“That’s a good point, Yaz,” Graham conceded. “And that IS the question we’ve always been asking ourselves, isn't it? Who, exactly, is the Doctor?” 

“No one really knows,” Ryan answered. Though he had never told the others, sometimes when the Doctor dropped him off for a “break” from the TARDIS he would spend his nights googling information about her. At first he thought there would be loads of material since she made such an impact on the world; now he realized that he was just one in a long list of people who had more questions about her than answers.

“Well, true, we might not know everything,” Graham conceded, “but do we at least know a little more now? I mean, look at this chance that we’ve had! Two years we’ve been on her TARDIS, and that’s been our normal. Suddenly this pandemic hits and it’s brought her into our lives. She’s in our home. She’s at our work. There’s been less peril and more time to really sit down and get on each other's nerves,” he joked. “And what did we do with that time?! What have we LEARNED about the Doctor?”

“She’s good at subterfuge,” Yaz commented, still upset.

“But already knew that,” Graham countered.

“We learned she can’t cook,” Ryan answered, half joking.

“Well that’s something, ain’t it!” Graham agreed, happy to have a starting point. “What else?”

Ryan stayed silent for a moment, wondering if he should mention his thoughts. He considered his conversations with the Doctor. She hadn’t been clear, and she would never have answered him if he had asked for clarification. His hunches were just speculation, and he didn’t like presenting speculation as facts. But Graham was right-- in the near future they’d be back to their “normal” lives on the TARDIS. The Doctor was uncomfortable with conversation delving into her past-- when else would they get the chance to talk like this so openly? “I think perhaps…” he ventured cautiously, “the Doctor was once a soldier...”

“A soldier?!” Yaz asked, not expecting that answer. 

“Like, a proper one; in a proper war." He shook his head. "Could be wrong-- it was something she said, almost in passing. But I got the feeling it was extreme. I imagine it'd have to be, for her to stay and fight in it.”

Yaz sat down next to Graham, wondering how she could contribute to the conversation. The Doctor-- a soldier? If that were true, did she learn anything about her friend that was more significant than that? 

“I think…” Graham ventured, “I think she might have had children.”

That got Yaz and Ryan’s attention, and their heads whipped up to face Graham. “The Doctor had children?” Yaz asked in disbelief. Apparently there was something more significant than combat. “How do you know?”

“I don’t, for certain,” Graham admitted. 

Ryan realized once again that everything they may know about the Doctor was pure assumption-- but assumption was more than they had before. It was a start. “She did say something about her parenting days,” Ryan remembered. “Then she tried to brush it off.”

“Question is, IF we are right, then… what happened?” Graham asked sadly. “Where are they now?”

Intense silence followed that implication. They might have been angry with the Doctor, but they still loved her. The thought of their friend dealing with that type of loss was too much for words. Yaz looked down at her lap. The Doctor said she had family once, and Yaz had tried to get her to open up about them. But children? Had the Doctor been a mother? Or, rather… a father? What did they call parents on Gallifrey? Yaz thought about the Doctor’s interactions with kids. Maybe it wasn’t such a leap to believe she was a parent. Maybe a part of Yaz knew about it all along. 

“Ryan and I lost Grace two years ago,” Graham alluded. “Our lives were forever changed by that one moment-- that ONE event. But the Doctor?! She lost everything. Her whole planet. Her whole culture. Her whole family.”

“Can you blame her for getting attached to us?” Ryan asked. “We are pretty awesome,” he joked, once again lightening the mood.

“How does she do it?” Graham asked, authentically curious. “After two thousand years of losing everyone she’s ever loved, here come the three of us-- bouncing into her TARDIS-- ready to take risks.” He thought out loud. “Can we really blame her for being worried-- for doing whatever it takes-- when we’re the one thing she hasn’t lost?”

“Or rather, lost YET,” Ryan added, emphasizing their relative breakability compared to the Doctor.

“I wonder what I would have done to keep Grace alive,” Graham contemplated. “Or the two of you.” 

Yaz thought about that as well. She had kept secrets from her own family, believing it to be for their protection. Did that make her like the Doctor? Was it the same? And if so, was that why she was so angry? She thought the world of the Doctor-- she YEARNED to become more like her-- but manipulation was against Yaz’s personality. It came so naturally for the Doctor. Was Yaz worried that one day it would become second nature to her, too? Or did her anger come from a place much more simple than that-- her desire (and inability) to help her friend? “I can’t imagine,” Yaz admitted. “But what does that mean for us?” she asked. “What should we do now?” She couldn’t imagine her life without the Doctor, but she didn’t like the idea of putting herself in a position where she’d have to forgive over and over again.

Graham shook his head. “Can’t make that decision for you, I’m afraid. That’s up to each of us.” The three humans looked at each other, thinking-- trying to decide. 

“Your turn," Ryan broke the silence by turning to Yaz. "What have you learned about the Doctor?”

“I’ve learned…” Yaz thought about the every-day moments-- the ones that made the Doctor genuinely happy. The makeover. Wanting to play Charades. Eating sandwiches in the squad car and just talking to each other. She looked down at her lap again and started playing with her hands. “I used to think the Doctor was all about adventure, but she’s not.” She smiled to herself. “I know she loves suspense-- but she loves CONNECTION more. It's what she really craves…” her smile faded. “...And what she doesn’t think she has,” she ended sadly. Yaz stood up and headed for the door.

“Where are you going?” Ryan asked her.

Yaz turned to him. “To decide,” she answered. She looked at Graham and smiled. “Like you said-- to decide for myself.” And then she was gone.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Yaz knew she’d find the Doctor leaning against the tree where they always parked the TARDIS. Graham was right-- they might not know everything about her circumstances, but they still knew HER. 

The Doctor, being lost in thought, didn’t notice her friend until she was a few feet away. A look of surprise showed on the Doctor’s face. “Yaz!” she exclaimed, trying to decide if she should force herself to smile or look contrite. The Doctor glanced at her feet uncomfortably, unsure of how to handle the situation. Still socially awkward, she thought.

Yaz could feel herself begin to shake and wondered if she made the right choice by coming to face the Doctor so soon. She didn’t feel ready for this conversation. She knew she needed an answer, although she still didn’t know the right question. “I’m going to ask you something,” she started, “and for once, I need the answer to be true.” 

The Doctor nodded her head. “All right,” she stated cautiously.

“I need you to know how serious this is to me,” Yaz tried again. “Doctor, if you lie this time…”

“I understand,” the Doctor stated honestly. She knew how close she was to losing her friend, and she was desperate. 

Yaz still struggled to come up with the question. There were so many thoughts that came to her mind all at once. She hoped the words would come together when she saw the Doctor’s face, but suddenly language failed her. “Because I don’t know if I can keep doing this…” she stalled again.

“Yaz,” the Doctor asked, taking a step closer. “What’s the question?”

“Doctor…” she started, asking the only thing that came to mind. “Did you have children?”

The question caught the Doctor off guard, and it showed on her face. She took a step back, stunned by the inquiry. They stared at each other for a moment in silence until the Doctor looked away, lost in emotion.

Yaz suddenly felt guilty. Why did she choose to ask THAT? Of all the questions Yaz had for the Doctor, did she really expect her to open up about losing her children? Her face softened. “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me,” she started to say, but stopped herself. Maybe that was the point-- maybe she had to ask the most intense question. Didn’t she JUST tell the Doctor she needed the truth-- that she needed to trust Yaz? Wasn’t trust, in part, a choice? Was the Doctor choosing not to trust her with her pain? Did the Doctor remain silent, after knowing how important it was to Yaz that she’d answer? WAS that Yaz’s answer? Would this be the end of Yaz traveling with the Doctor?

Then another thought struck Yaz, causing her face to soften more genuinely. “You don’t have to answer,” she stated again. “Or rather… maybe you just did,” she realized. The Doctor looked back up at her friend. Yaz shook her head with the revelation. “Maybe that’s been my problem all along-- I’ve been waiting for you to use words-- in English-- but you find other ways to tell me. I asked you to teach me something in your language, Doctor-- and I missed the whole point!” She smiled to herself in relief. “You were wrong, too, though-- the TARDIS might translate Gallifreyan, but it doesn’t translate ‘DOCTOR’-- that’s a language unique to you. I’m starting to understand it, but I’m definitely not fluent yet.” She reached down and took her friend’s hand. “I’m going to need your help to learn. I need you to make a genuine effort to teach me.”

The Doctor shook her head. “You’re giving me more grace than I deserve,” the Doctor admitted. “I did lie to you, Yaz. And I’m not sure, given the circumstances, that I wouldn’t do it again.”

“I know,” she responded. “And that’s a problem. I’m not saying I’m okay with it, or that I’m going to put up with it.” 

The Doctor willed herself to keep quiet-- to take the win. Yaz was moving forward, wasn’t she? But something inside of her wanted to understand more. Wasn’t that one of her goals during the quarantine-- to understand the others in a way she wouldn’t have otherwise? “What ARE you saying, then?” the Doctor asked curiously. 

Yaz grabbed the Doctor's other hand. “That you have faults-- but not ones I’m willing to throw everything away over,” she answered. She leaned into the Doctor for emphasis. “I will catch you, you know. I will call you out each time. And maybe you will realize you don't have to lie or manipulate. Perhaps one day you will learn you can trust me with more.” 

“I DO trust you, Yaz,” the Doctor argued.

“I know you think you do,” Yaz conceded, “but maybe one day you actually will.” Yaz dropped the Doctor's hands and leaned against the tree herself. “It’s a huge oversight, though," she contemplated. “If the TARDIS can translate any language, why doesn’t it translate people? You know, their intent? It would make relationships a LOT easier,” she admitted.

“Human beings,” the Doctor answered in awe. “You lot are amazingly complex--even the TARDIS doesn’t quite understand you. It can’t translate what it can’t understand.” 

Yaz eyed the Doctor suspiciously. “Did you just make that up?” she asked with a smirk. “And after the conversation we just had?” 

The Doctor winced. “Maybe,” she admitted.

Yaz chuckled. “Because I was talking about YOU,” Yaz clarified. “You’re not human.”

The Doctor smiled as well. “True,” she thought. “But I hope that I’ve become a little more like you over time. So I guess you never know.” 

"Guess not." Yaz agreed. Yaz smiled at the Doctor-- still amazing, still brilliant, and still with her faults. Still having their respective missions-- the Doctor keeping Yaz safe at any cost, and Yaz hoping to find out more about the mysterious traveler that fell into her life. Nothing had really been accomplished, except maybe a new understanding--and that was a start.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

“Are you obsessed with lamps, Graham?” the Doctor asked as she stood next to the kitchen table, enjoying a bowl of ice cream.

Graham had sat down just moments before with a puzzle in his hands. Ryan sat next to him with a bowl of ice cream himself, watching as Graham dumped the contents of the box onto the table.

“Why would I be obsessed with lamps?” Graham asked, bewildered.

The Doctor shrugged nonchalantly. “Just noticed you had a few in the gaff. A couple in each room, actually,” she answered, glancing around.

“It’s almost as if you wanted to see at night…” Ryan stated mockingly.

“And now this!” the Doctor picked up the puzzle box, revealing a picture of a lamp on an end table next to a novel. “Nice obsession to have, mind you-- always liked the idea of a light shining in the darkness,” she stated as she studied its cover.

“No kidding,” Graham stated facetiously.

“Did you know oil lamps were invented in the 10th millennium BC?!” she indicated enthusiastically. “The oldest lamp known to man is 15,000 years old-- found it in 1940; in a cave in France.”

“‘Found’?” Ryan asked curiously. “As in, YOU found?”

Graham interrupted the conversation before she could answer. “It’s just a puzzle, Doc-- doesn’t mean I’m obsessed.” He took the box from her hands. “And why would it be the lamp of all things? There’s a novel here-- why not ask me if I’m obsessed with books?” he contended.

“Because she knows you,” Ryan stated, chuckling.

“I’ll have you know, novels and me-- we get on!” Graham argued. “I read all of the Harry Potters; and twice!” 

“Don’t try sounding cool…” Ryan bantered.

“There IS the matter of the lamps in the room,” the Doctor reiterated. 

“Yeah, don’t see many novels here in the kitchen,” Ryan jokingly agreed.

“You wouldn’t see anything at all if it weren’t for those lamps!” Graham countered. He turned to the Doctor. “Besides, it’s a quarantine-- you’re supposed to do a puzzle. It’s iconic!” The Doctor’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

“Graham joined the puzzle challenge on facebook,” Ryan explained.

“What’s the puzzle challenge?” the Doctor probed.

“It’s where you find a thousand-piece puzzle you haven’t done in ages and complete it in a couple of sittings,” Graham elucidated. “I plan on completing it in one,” he stated proudly.

“Once you’re done you upload a picture of it to facebook and tag one of your friends,” Ryan added. “Then you give them a certain number of days to complete their puzzle and tag someone else.” 

The Doctor grabbed the puzzle box and studied it again. “Like a chain letter, only with less postage?” she asked.

“Yeah, I suppose,” Graham agreed, grabbing the puzzle box from the Doctor once more.

“But what if you just wanted to complete a puzzle?” she pondered. “Do they not allow that during a quarantine in this century?”

Graham shook his head. “Not the same,” he explained. “It’s the social aspect that makes it fun-- keeps you connected to others.”

“Were you tagged then?” the Doctor inquired. 

Graham nodded his head. “My mate Aaron gave me three days to complete this beast.” He knocked on the puzzle box for emphasis.

“You have friends on facebook?!” the Doctor asked innocently. Graham eyed her as Ryan chuckled. “What?!” she asked genuinely.

Graham ignored the subject for the Doctor’s sake. “Makes for a good puzzle, the lamp-- you see the layers of light here? Makes it easier to tell which pieces go where.”

“Why would you want it to be easier?” the Doctor questioned. “Thought you said it was a challenge...”

“It’s supposed to be challenging, yes-- but relaxing as well,” Graham explained.

The Doctor looked down at Graham, confused. “A relaxing challenge?” she asked.

“It makes sense,” Ryan agreed. “Well, to a normal person… maybe not to you.”

“Oi!” the Doctor countered. “Are you implying that I don’t know how to relax?!”

“There’s no implication, Doc-- we’re flat out stating it,” Graham confessed.

The Doctor looked at her friends sharply. “Look at me-- I’m relaxed now! In fact, I’ve had months of relaxing with you two!”

“Then how come I’ve never seen you actually sit at this table?” Graham asked pointedly. “You’re always standing by or wandering about.

“Maybe Time Lords have more energy than humans,” the Doctor postulated.

“Maybe humans have more patience than Time Lords,” Ryan countered.

The Doctor gave Ryan a look before sitting down. “All right, then!” she stated, making a conscious effort to show her friends she could relax the ‘human’ way. “Let’s see about this puzzle, shall we?” She reached out for a piece but was stopped by Graham.

“No thank you!” he signaled, holding his hand up to block her path.

“Do you have to do it yourself?” the Doctor asked.

“No, and normally I’d welcome the help, but you got to admit, Doc…” Graham let his sentence trail, unsure of how to proceed.

There was an awkward silence as the Doctor looked between Ryan and Graham. “What?” she asked.

“You would probably end up taking over,” Ryan finished for him. “You do have control issues.”

“I don’t have control issues!” she countered. “I just prefer things be done… correctly… by me…” she stated with less confidence.

Graham shook his head. “Even so, your brain-- or brains-- or whatever; works too fast for me. You’d have this puzzle done in five minutes, and where’s the fun in that?!”

“So you want it DIFFICULT, but EASY enough to be mindless...” the Doctor alluded.

“Exactly!” Graham stated proudly. “Relaxation! Now you’re getting it!”

The Doctor sighed to herself-- humans made no sense. A thought dawned on her and her enthusiasm reappeared. “If you want a challenge, I’ve got just the puzzle for you!” she stated happily, disappearing into the TARDIS for a moment. She came back to the kitchen with another box. “It’s called the Impossible Puzzle!” She exclaimed, dumping out the pieces next to Graham’s. “Got it on ebay. That’s a form of social media, yeah?!”

“The Impossible what?” Graham asked cautiously.

“Impossible Puzzle. It also has 1,000 pieces, but each piece is completely clear,” she explained, eager for the challenge. “This particular puzzle isn’t a square, either-- doesn’t really have a defined shape on the box. Guess you have to figure it out as you go. Ryan and I will work on this while you’re completing yours!” she said with a smile.

“I will?” Ryan asked incredulously.

“This is nice, eh?! Brilliant to have a hobby!” she stated as she picked up two pieces, already finding a match. Ryan picked up a clear puzzle piece and stared at it inquisitively.

“How come when you do a puzzle it’s a hobby, but when I do it, it’s an obsession?” Graham asked the Doctor in mock offense.

The Doctor had already found another match and focused on the puzzle, not glancing at her friends when she spoke. “Nothing wrong with a good obsession, Graham-- as long as you have a healthy respect for whatever captivates you.” Ryan glanced down, mesmerized at the Doctor’s ability to already complete numerous puzzle connections. “Gets you through the day!”

“Easy for you to say,” Graham countered. “You don’t have the attention span for obsessions.”

“I’m obsessed with humans,” the Doctor confessed, still focused on the puzzle. “I have a LOT of life to fill-- you lot are what get me through!”

“So… we’re your hobby?” Ryan remarked.

The Doctor broke her attention on the puzzle to make eye contact with Ryan. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.” She smiled at him. “Can’t get enough of you!”

Ryan smiled back at her and picked up another piece of the puzzle. He attempted to find a match for a few minutes before dropping both pieces in frustration. “I’m out,” he conceded. “I’ll help Graham with his.”

The Doctor looked at him offensively. “Then who will be on my team?!” she asked.

“Why don’t you get Bill to help you?” Ryan stated snidely.

The Doctor returned her focus back to the puzzle. “I know you meant that sarcastically, but I would if she had opposable thumbs,” she answered.

“You’re a scientist-- maybe you could take her into the TARDIS and cause a mutation,” he joked, but immediately wished he hadn’t. There was a part of him that believed she could, and with her love of arachnids, he was nervous that she would run with the idea.

“She likes being a spider, Ryan,” the Doctor explained. “And we already established how I feel about humans-- I wouldn’t want to create a hybrid of the two.” She placed another piece next to its match and stood up, proudly revealing a finished puzzle. “You were right!” she told Graham. “That WAS relaxing! She took out her phone and took a picture. “Quite fun, even!” she confessed. She started fiddling with her phone. “Just need to create a facebook account…” she stated, heading toward the living room. “You two better friend me!” she chided, walking through the kitchen door. Graham dropped the puzzle pieces from his hands in defeat as Ryan laughed at the spectacle.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 19

Chapter 19

“There’s got to be a way…” Yaz rationalized as she placed a parking ticket on a windshield, tucking it under the wipers to hold it in place. “If I wanted to teach you the letter ‘A’ for example, but I was afraid the TARDIS would translate it-- I would break it down, step by step. I would show you each line separately until you saw how it came together. Couldn’t you do something like that?”

“I don’t know,” the Doctor replied. “My written language is a little more complex than the lines and circles of your English.”

“You could try, though-- yeah?” Yaz asked hopefully as they walked back toward her squad car. “You had to learn it once, when you were a child. Surely simple written words exist that Gallifreyans teach to children,” she concluded. Yaz thought upon that statement. “Unless Time Lords are born with that knowledge?” she asked, uncertain.

The Doctor didn’t respond. Every aspect of her felt uncomfortable with this conversation. The reasons why were complex: it touched upon the life she had on her home planet; it threatened her secrets; it made her think about the Gallifrey she used to love as a child before it became the Gallifrey she grew to know as an adult; it reminded her of her loss; and there was something else-- something that she could never quite put her finger on, but something that had always been a part of her-- something that caused her to tense every time someone tried to delve into her past. Every instinct inside of her told her to run; to stop this discussion at any cost. But she was trying to make more of an effort for Yaz. She might not answer every question, she thought-- but she could at least allow the conversation to happen, and hope that was enough of an effort for now.

The Doctor and Yaz reached the squad car and sat inside. Yaz took her mask off and faced the Doctor. “Are Time Lords even born?” She asked curiously. “And are they all geniuses like you?”

“You think someone could replace my brains?!” the Doctor asked, pretending to be offended. “Actually, there IS another version of me. Well, sort of. He can’t regenerate. And he’s locked in another version of reality all together. And he was only made from PART of my DNA, so I’m not sure it counts, but…”

“Doctor,” Yaz interrupted sadly. “You’re doing it again. You’re not answering.”

The Doctor sat up straighter and turned to face her friend. "I know you're curious, Yaz, and I LOVE it. Normally I'd be the first one to inspire that curiosity. But not about this. Time Lords, in the end, were not the heroes they were meant to be. The less you know of their ways, the better…” The Doctor let her thoughts end there and faced forward, preparing for them to drive away.

Yaz shook her head. “But they created you…” she disagreed. She saw the Doctor tense, although she didn’t know why. She tried again. “I mean, your culture-- Gallifrey-- YOU came from it. If someone like you came out of it all, I don’t see how knowing more about Gallifrey could be bad.”

The Doctor shook her head. “I don't want anything to take away from what is so fabulously human about you," she explained. 

“Or are you just worried that I’ll think of you differently if I find out more about who you are?” Yaz asked. 

Why can’t it be both, the Doctor thought. 

The dispatcher’s voice interrupted their conversation. “Unit 975, we have a code 40 on Atherton Road. Appears you are the closest to assist.”

Yaz grabbed the car radio. “We’re on our way,” she answered.

“How was that?!” the Doctor asked proudly.

Yaz smiled to herself. “Better,” she stated. “Not GREAT, but we probably got a good five minutes in before you tried to drop the conversation.”

“What’s a code 40?” the Doctor asked curiously-- and once again happy to have something to discuss other than her past.

“It’s an emergency response code involving a ‘serious medical case’. Paramedics probably need crowd control of some sort,” Yaz answered as she watched her phone, waiting for the report to come through with the exact address. 

“A medical case?” the Doctor contemplated. 

“Good thing I’m bringing a doctor!” Yaz smiled as she handed the phone to her friend.

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Yaz and the Doctor parked down the street since an ambulance, firetruck, and first responders were parked in front of the home. Yaz got out of the car and looked around. Her eyebrows furrowed as she tried to make sense of the scene. A tree had been cut down and laid across the driveway of the home, blocking in its inhabitants from leaving. First responders and firemen stood outside, corralling a group of angry adults who were shouting at the family who lived there. The paramedics could not be seen-- Yaz assumed they were inside the home.

“Looks like a mob…” Yaz stated worriedly. The Doctor, without a word, took off running towards the home. “Doctor!” Yaz exclaimed as she tried to catch up. 

The Doctor approached the crowd and the first responders. “Crisis intervention,” she stated, showing off her psychic paper as identification. 

Yaz, moments behind her, showed off her badge. “I’m officer Khan with the Sheffield Police,” she stated, out of breath.

“Oh yeah-- forgot I didn’t have to make it up this time!” the Doctor whispered to Yaz. She turned her attention back toward the crowd. “What’s going on?” she asked.

Everyone started talking and shouting their stories at once. “All right!” Yaz yelled with authority. “First Responders, with the Doctor-- you civilians, with me. I will take your statement.” She turned to her friend. Angry crowds and mobs she could handle, but there was a medical emergency in this home. She wanted the Doctor to be free to go inside to help in a way only the Doctor could. “Go be brilliant,” Yaz told her friend with a proud smile. The Doctor nodded and led the first responders toward the door.

Yaz turned her attention back to the crowd. She pointed to a man on her left. “I’ll start with you and work my way to the right. There will be NO interruptions. Am I clear?” she asked boldly, taking out a notebook from her uniform pocket. Normally she liked to get witness statements separately. It was easier to learn the truth when witnesses couldn’t collaborate with each other and create fictitious accounts of what happened-- but Yaz was worried to leave anyone in this crowd alone. Whatever was happening in this home was critical enough to warrant emergency medical personnel. The paramedics had their hands full already. They didn’t need to deal with anything else. “Name?” Yaz asked the man to her left.

“Charles Pierce,” he answered. 

“Address, Mr. Pierce?” 

“I’m the home right across the way,” he pointed to the house across the street.

“Tell me about what happened here today,” Yaz directed.

“Officer!” a woman to her right exclaimed. “We are just protecting our families.”

“I said NO interruptions!” Yaz reminded the crowd sternly.

“But she’s right,” Charles agreed. “The family in this home-- they have COVID-19. Have for about a week now, but they refuse to stay in their home!”

“They’re always going back and forth-- to the grocery-- to restaurants-- sending their kids to play in the yard!” another man in the crowd yelled. 

“Coming into MY yard-- they’re going to infect my children!” another voice called.

“This is your last warning! The next person to speak out of turn will get a citation,” Yaz challenged. She glanced at the tree in the driveway and turned toward Charles. “So you blocked their driveway?” she asked incredulously. 

Charles shrugged. “What else could we do?” he asked. “We called the police-- it’s not illegal to go to the market.” He took a step closer to Yaz. “These people state the virus is no worse than the flu-- they believe that sunlight will cure them! They refuse to wear masks. They’re going to infect everybody, and no one in this neighborhood is safe! The law can’t do anything about somebody’s belief.”

“So you felt you had to take matters into your own hands…” Yaz reprimanded.

“Beliefs don’t change reality, Officer,” Charles countered. “The reality is, my father lives with us, and his health isn’t the best. If he dies because of something THEY could have prevented-- why is that not illegal?!” Yaz’s gaze softened as she looked at their worried faces. She understood, but still-- she couldn’t let them incite violence. It was a difficult thing, trying to balance freedom and safety. Yaz knew this family’s freedom to do whatever they wanted stopped when it put their neighbors’ lives on the line. But the freedom for those neighbors to attack this family didn’t exist as well. Everyone is still so desperate, she thought. She happened to glance up at the home as the Doctor walked out. The Doctor motioned for Yaz to approach. “Excuse me,” she said, heading toward the Doctor. 

“Both parents need oxygen,” the Doctor related. “I gave them the vaccine, but I honestly don’t think it will do anything. Vaccines PREVENT, but they don’t necessarily CURE.”

“Why did you give it to them, then?” Yaz asked curiously.

The Doctor shrugged helplessly. “Because it was all I could do.” There was a silence as the Doctor tried to come to terms with her inability to protect someone from a pandemic once again. Yaz reached out and squeezed her hand in support. The Doctor squeezed back, appreciative of the gesture. “As it is, I think the dad will need to be intubated in a day or so,” she stated. “One of the children is showing signs of an inflammatory disease. She should be okay in the end, but it’s not going to be a pleasant recovery.”

Yaz winced on the inside. She wished, for this family’s sake, that they were among those who tested positive but showed no symptoms. Now a child was suffering needlessly due to the actions of adults who were meant to protect her. She knew it wasn’t done maliciously, but she wondered-- why couldn’t people just trust the science? She understood having different political ideologies, but why couldn’t they see the evidence in front of their own eyes? Only humans could make a deadly virus political, she thought. “I should get back,” Yaz stated, her gaze heading back toward the crowd. “There are a lot of angry people in the neighborhood who shouldn’t be around when the paramedics take this family to the hospital.”

The Doctor nodded her head in agreement. She started to head back inside the home when she stopped herself. “Wait, why?” she asked Yaz.

Yaz was already halfway to the crowd when she answered. “Apparently they weren’t big on quarantining. Their kids have been all over this neighborhood. People are getting scared.”

“The kids?” the Doctor wondered out loud. “Yaz, wait!” she shouted, running up to her friend in haste.

Yaz had reached the neighbors before the Doctor could catch up. Approaching the crowd, the Doctor took out her sonic screwdriver and started scanning. The crowd looked at Yaz curiously. “Do you know how hard it is to keep children away from each other?” the Doctor asked Yaz. “Quite impossible, actually. If the children who live here have been roaming this neighborhood, chances are…” And then a sound. It was quiet and soft, but it was definitely there.

Yaz froze. “Doctor... “ she asked cautiously. “Did you ever take off the alarm from when you gave me the sonic?” The Doctor shook her head. Yaz swallowed hard. “Then does that mean what I think it does?” she asked. 

The Doctor grabbed Yaz by the arm and led her away from the other humans. “I can’t just leave the scene,” Yaz stated as the Doctor began to scan her friend. “I’M the police. I’m the one sent to stop this…” Then she heard it again-- the small, quiet alarm. Her breathing stopped. She could tell the Doctor’s did as well. The Doctor’s arm froze in the position it was when she scanned Yaz. A new look of fear appeared on her face. Yaz and the Doctor just stood there for a moment, staring at each other. Yaz noticed it-- the look of desperation she just saw on the crowd-- but this time on the Doctor.

“Yaz, go back to the car,” the Doctor admonished.

“But…” Yaz struggled as she tried to come up with the words to reply.

“NOW, Yaz!” the Doctor commanded.

“I…” she glanced up at the angry crowd. Extreme terror fell upon her. It was as if she were viewing herself from the outside. Did she really have the virus?! Could the sonic be wrong? No, it was never wrong, she reminded herself. And yet she still had a job to do, didn’t she? She was the police...

“You can’t be around other people. You could pass it to them!” the Doctor chided. “I’ll handle this. Go back to the car, Yaz-- NOW!”

Yaz felt disoriented; not out of sickness yet, but out of disbelief. But Charles was right-- belief didn’t change reality, and however surreal this felt, the reality was the sonic said she had been exposed to the virus. It was now inside of her. Yaz willed her feet to move back toward her squad car. The Doctor watched her leave with concern. She waited until Yaz was actually inside the car before turning toward the crowd herself. Yaz couldn’t hear what she was telling the crowd. She wasn’t sure what she was telling the paramedics or the first response workers. Her hands gripped the steering wheel as so many thoughts popped into her head. Could she even drop off the squad car now? Didn’t she just contaminate it? She couldn’t go home, could she? She felt sick at the thought of bringing the virus home to her sister and parents. Would she get sick? Like, SICK sick? Would the vaccine prevent the virus from taking hold in her system? It felt like hours before the Doctor came back to the vehicle. Yaz saw the paramedics and fire department drive away. She wondered how everything was resolved.

The Doctor opened the passenger side door and looked in at her friend. She studied Yaz for a moment, trying to gage her feelings. “Do you need me to drive?” she asked. Yaz shook her head no-- or at least she tried to-- but the Doctor didn’t look convinced. “Best switch places, then,” she said. 

Yaz didn’t argue-- perhaps she wasn’t in the best mindset to drive after all. She got out of the car and walked to the passenger side. She stepped in and put her seat belt on. The Doctor started the car. Yaz wondered if the Doctor knew how to drive. She was brilliant with spaceships, but Yaz had never seen her maneuver a regular automobile. “Where are we going?” she asked.

“To the TARDIS,” the Doctor answered. “Time to put you into quarantine.”


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20: The End

The flat hadn’t felt the same since Grace died. At times, it was hard for Ryan and Graham to return from the TARDIS to a home with only memories, but all that changed when the Doctor moved in. Although she had only been a part of their Earth lives for a couple of months, the flat felt empty without her. She brought a liveliness to the home that was sorely missed when she was out on patrol with Yaz. The boys were running out of things to keep themselves occupied while she was away. 

“I still don’t get it,” Ryan admitted as he sat on the couch next to Graham. “Even if I live to be as old as the Doctor, I will NEVER get it.”

Graham shook his head solemnly. “That’s because you haven’t given it a fair shot yet,” he argued. “You’ve got to let go of your preconceived notions and keep an open mind.” 

“I don’t know if I can do that,” Ryan confessed. “We’ve been through a lot, Graham-- but this?! Some things are too difficult…” He pointed to the television. “What could you possibly see in this series?!”

“You can’t take everything at face value. You’ve got to find the MEANING behind what they do,” Graham lectured enthusiastically. “It’s kind of a metaphor for life, if you think about it!” 

“How is this a metaphor for anything?” Ryan asked. “Put in a line, pull out a fish. And there’s what, 11 seasons of this show?!”

“That proves it, don’t it?!” Graham countered. “No network is going to keep a show going for 11 seasons if there’s no merit! You young people-- never giving anything a fair chance if there’s not enough action. Well, the Doctor loves action, and she likes this show! Said as much, didn’t she?!”

“The Doctor lies,” Ryan jokingly reminded him. 

As if on cue, they heard the front door opening and the Doctor walked in. 

“You don’t think she heard me, do you?” Ryan whispered, nervous that he would have offended his friend if she did.

“Hey Doc!” Graham welcomed. “You’re home early! But also, just in time! Could you tell Ryan what makes this series so amazing...” He turned to his grandson. “It’s in the nuances-- you’ll see.” 

The Doctor walked into the living room solemnly. The smiles on the boys’ faces disappeared as they saw her disposition. “No questions,” the Doctor directed. Yaz was standing outside the doorway and the Doctor was nervous to leave her there for too long. “I need you both to go upstairs right now.”

“You okay, Doc?” Graham asked. 

“She said no questions,” Ryan reminded him.

“I’ll explain later,’ she stated more softly. “Soon, even. But please, this one time do what I say-- and do NOT come downstairs until you hear from me.”

Graham and Ryan nodded their heads in understanding. They had loads of questions-- how could they not?-- but they knew the Doctor, and they knew when to listen. They headed upstairs, glancing back down at their friend worriedly as they did so.

The Doctor waited until she could no longer see them before she headed back to the front door. “It’s safe now,” she told Yaz. 

Yaz didn’t move. “Are you sure? I won’t give them the virus just walking to the TARDIS, will I?” she asked.

The Doctor shook her head, trying to put Yaz’s mind at ease. “I’ll sanitize everything before they come back down. Best be quick, though.” Yaz walked through the door and straight toward the TARDIS, being careful not to touch anything. The Doctor closed the front door and headed into the TARDIS as well. She took a deep breath to gather herself before turning to her friend. “Why don’t you head to the medbay? I want to get a proper look at you. I’ll meet you there in a moment-- just going to pop upstairs real quick and give the boys an explanation.” She headed back towards the door. “Need me to phone your parents while I’m out?” the Doctor asked. 

“We have a medbay?” Yaz considered out loud. 

‘We’, the Doctor thought-- how she loved hearing those words! Not ‘YOU’ have a medbay, but ‘WE’-- meaning her companions felt like this was their home as much as she did. “Of course we have a medbay!” she bantered lively, trying to keep the mood light for Yaz’s sake. “You think the TARDIS-- the most advanced machine in all of time and space-- wouldn’t have a place to treat the sick?!”

“We just… we’ve never used it,” Yaz noted, not feeling very lighthearted still. “We’ve had loads of sick people travel with us, but you always treat them in the console room.”

“Well that’s because I have to fly the ship!” the Doctor disclosed enthusiastically. “I can’t be in the medbay AND the console room at the same time. Well, I CAN, technically-- but not without creating a powerful paradox that would destroy the TARDIS. In which case we’d all be dead, and it would defeat the purpose in having a room to treat the sick...” She glanced at Yaz, who looked down at her feet. The Doctor’s enthusiasm waned. Probably shouldn’t joke about death right now, she thought. “Not helping with your anxiety, am I?” she asked. “Sorry.”

“I’ll call them,” Yaz stated, answering the Doctor’s other question. She knew the Doctor was trying to keep her spirits up, and the gesture was appreciated. “Just not sure what to say. My mum will be worried. She’ll want to come, I imagine-- make sure I’m taken care of. To be honest, I kind of want her here, too. It’ll be hard telling her no.”

The Doctor studied Yaz for a moment. Yaz was one of the bravest humans she had ever met, but anyone would be shaken at the thought of facing their own mortality-- especially during a literal pandemic. “How about we take a look at you now?” she asked. 

“But Ryan and Graham…” Yaz started.

The Doctor shook her head. “The boys can wait,” she interrupted. There was not much else the Doctor could do for Yaz that hadn’t already been done, except be more educated about what was happening with her body now. Yaz needed answers. She needed her mind to be kept busy, or her anxiety would skyrocket. The Doctor took Yaz by the hand and led her to the medbay.

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Yaz looked around the medbay and noticed how similar it looked to a typical doctor’s office on Earth. She wondered if the TARDIS changed the look of the room depending on whichever species needed it. Her bedroom on the TARDIS was the same way-- so familiar to what she was used to, albeit more comfortable and cozy than the one she had in her family’s flat. Somehow the TARDIS made the room just for her. Was the TARDIS trying to put her mind at ease? If so, it was a kind gesture. Maybe the TARDIS was alive after all, she thought.

“I need to do a blood analysis,” the Doctor stated as she pulled out a needle from the corner cabinet. 

“I thought you said you didn’t need needles in the future,” Yaz remembered. 

“Not unless you need to know something quick,” the Doctor explained. “Which I do. Sorry…” She winced as she said it, feeling empathy for her friend.

Yaz pulled up her sleeve to reveal her veins. The Doctor poked her with the needle, finding a vein on her first try. Yaz wondered how the Doctor knew so much about medicine. She had seen the Doctor treat so many different species-- how could she keep track of what each one was, and what they needed biologically? The Doctor was truly amazing. 

The Doctor walked toward a machine against the far wall and injected the syringe of blood into it. A beam of light enveloped Yaz so suddenly it made her jump. The Doctor turned to see what the commotion was. “Sorry-- another diagnostic. Just checking out the rest of your systems. Didn’t mean to scare you,” she apologized. She turned back toward the machine, awaiting it to finish the analysis. “Don’t worry, though!” the Doctor said, trying to sound convincing. “You’re young. Your immune system is strong. That, combined with the vaccination I gave you, means you're safe! Probably...” The Doctor was glad her back was to Yaz. She closed her eyes in stress, knowing she didn’t sound as hopeful as she wanted to.

“You can say it,” Yaz stated. 

The Doctor turned around and shook her head, assuming ‘it’ meant ‘bad news’. “It’s still calculating. I don’t know the results for sure…”

“No,” Yaz looked down. “Not that….You can say IT.” The Doctor looked at her in confusion. ‘You can say ‘I told you so.’ You have a right to say it, even. I know you want to; at least, I would…”

The Doctor shook her head sadly. “I never care who is right, Yaz. Only who is safe.” She turned around to face the machine once again. 

“I hope to be like that, someday. To be like you. I don’t just want to just have good intentions-- I want to be good for something. You have good intentions AND the ability to make a difference.I would give anything to be like that.”

The Doctor shook her head, feeling unworthy of the praise. “This is MY fault, Yaz,” the Doctor admitted. 

“What is?”

“This,” the Doctor gestured to the room. “I should have scanned that crowd before I walked into the home-- before I let you near them, even.”

“And I should have kept my distance,” Yaz acknowledged. “It’s not your fault, Doctor.”

“It just takes ONE moment of carelessness on my part to lose…” The Doctor let her sentence trail. She turned back toward the machine. She didn’t remember it taking this long to analyze. Maybe Time Lords really didn’t have any patience, she thought.

“You think your actions caused this? Because here’s how I view them-- If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have been vaccinated. I wouldn’t have known that I was exposed, and I would have brought this back to my family. You saved me, Doctor. And you saved them. Thank you.” She glanced at her lap, nervous to say what she needed to next. “You don’t like talking about your past, but I know you have lost others. I can’t say for certain that you won’t lose me as well-- especially now-- but if you ever did, I need you to know that it wouldn’t be your fault.”

“That’s what the others said as well,” the Doctor said softly, but loud enough for Yaz to hear.

The machine beeped, notifying the Doctor of the finished results. She punched a couple of buttons and read the report.

“What does it say?” Yaz asked cautiously.

“It says the virus is still in your system, but you’re already starting to show some antibodies, which is a good sign. Means your body has recognized what it is and is trying to fight off the infection. Probably means the vaccination is working. Won’t know for another day or two, though, whether or not your immune system will kill it without it taking hold or...” she let her sentence hang again, not wanting to finish it.

“So, we wait?” Yaz asked, changing the subject for the Doctor’s sake.

The Doctor nodded. “We wait. And we make sure you’re hydrated, that you get enough sleep-- anything to help your body stay strong.”

“And we have hope?” Yaz asked again, reminding the Doctor of everything she had taught her.

The Doctor stopped, a slow smile returning to her face. “We remain educated, we remain cautious-- but above all things, yes-- we remain hopeful.” Yaz smiled back, glad to relieve some of the tension in the room. “You should phone your parents, though, while we’re waiting,” the Doctor reminded her. “Might be best to leave out the part where you were actually infected. Tell them you were exposed to the virus and the department’s quarantining you for two weeks to be on the safe side-- less questions to answer that way.” 

Yaz didn’t like the idea of lying to her parents, but she couldn’t exactly admit that her time-traveling friend from outer space used alien technology to pinpoint the exact moment COVID-19 attached itself to her body. 

“Which reminds me!” the Doctor exclaimed. “I’ll need to tell your captain! Perhaps I’ll write a really nice letter and put it on letterhead! Can you imagine-- me-- with my own letterhead?! And then I’ll stamp it--make it all official looking!” she enthused, as if she had finally found her hobby.

Yaz chuckled to herself. “Knock yourself out,” she stated. “Are we done with the exam, then?” she asked. The Doctor nodded her head. “Do you know what humans do when they’re recovering?” The Doctor looked at her inquisitively. “Do you have some time?” 

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The Doctor and Yaz sat on a reclining couch in a room that, once again, felt similar to a living room Yaz would be used to on Earth. Yaz grabbed some blankets as the Doctor went to the nearest TARDIS kitchen for some popcorn and drinks. Getting settled, they turned their attention to the television in front of them. 

“I’m so glad the TARDIS has Netflix,” Yaz announced. 

“So this is called ‘binge watching?” the Doctor asked.

Yaz nodded her head. “It’s when you sit down and watch a whole season of a show in a day or two.”

“So it’s similar to the puzzle challenge, only with television?” she asked. 

Yaz looked at her in confusion. “It’s like a marathon on a network, only you get to choose the show and when you watch it.”

“Graham and I did this one day!” the Doctor disclosed. “A network was showing a marathon of his favorite show.”

“Go Fish-ing?!” Yaz asked in disbelief. “You actually watched that with him?! I tried once and fell asleep-- how could you stand it?!”

“I think the quarantine got to me…” the Doctor admitted.

Yaz pushed some buttons on the remote control. “This is called ‘Gilmore Girls’-- it’s one of my favorites. It’s also long enough to last, since I’ll be here for a couple of weeks. Even if the vaccination worked, I can’t tell anyone about it, so it looks like I’ll be stuck here for a while.”

“Is that so bad?” the Doctor asked, hoping for a certain answer.

“On the TARDIS with my best mate?!” she asked incredulously. “Been through worse,” she bantered. “Not sure you have, though,” she stated. “Because this means you really can’t leave Graham’s flat. No work, no reason to leave.”

The Doctor realized that was true. “That’s all right,” she answered. “Rather be here with the three of you any day.” And for once, she noticed, she wasn’t lying..

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Television at night always made Yaz tired. She started nodding off in the middle of the third episode, but willed herself to stay awake. This was as close to a human ‘girls night’ the Doctor had ever experienced, and she could tell the Doctor was enjoying it. Although she was exhausted, she didn’t want to take that away from her friend. 

The Doctor saw Yaz’s struggle. She put her hand to Yaz’s temple, pushing her mind toward sleep. Yaz’s body immediately gave in, and the Doctor wrapped a blanket around her friend to keep her warm. 

“Sorry, Yaz-- I know I cheated,” the Doctor told her. “And I know you won’t be happy about that. But sleep well. Fight this virus, and come back ready to take on the world in a way only Yasmin Khan can.” She put her arm around her friend and continued watching Netflix. 

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** A few hours earlier:**

Graham followed Ryan into his room and sat next to him on the bed. 

“What do you think that was about?” Ryan asked his grandfather. “And why do you think she came back home so early?” Graham shrugged, nervous for the answers himself. Just then, they were interrupted by Ryan’s ringtone. He glanced down at his phone. “It’s the Doctor!” he exclaimed.

“Well, answer it then!” Graham commanded.

Ryan picked up the phone nervously and hit “answer”. “Hello?” he asked cautiously. 

“Ryan? This is the Doctor, calling from the future.”

Ryan shifted his body in confusion. “But… the TARDIS is still downstairs...”

“Time travel-- keep up!” she bantered. “Also, could you put me on speaker? I’d rather only have to say this once.” Ryan pressed a button on the phone so Graham could hear the Doctor also.

“Is everything okay, Doc?” Graham asked.

“Yes. Well, no. Not YET, anyway. It is right now, but then again, I’m calling from your future. So yes for me, no for you. And when I say ‘no’, I mean ‘kind of’, that is…”

“You’re not making any sense…” Graham admitted.

“Yaz came in contact with the virus today. Your today, not mine,” the Doctor started to explain.

Ryan and Graham looked at each other in fear. “Is she all right?!” Ryan asked, concerned.

“She is. Or, for you, she WILL be. Oi, that is rather confusing, isn’t it?!” the Doctor asked enthusiastically.

“What happened, Doc?” Graham asked, trying to get her focused.

“A couple of families we came across on a call were infected. They’ve all been isolated now. Or WERE isolated, I suppose…”

“Doc…”

“I’ll just pretend we’re in the same time period-- makes verb tenses easier. Crash course into how vaccinations work: typically when your body encounters a pathogen, it takes a few days for your immune system to realize it’s been attacked and make the defenses it needs to kill off the infection. Part of that defense system is called T-lymphocytes, which is a sort of white blood cell that holds memory.”

“I’m not going to remember this…” Graham admitted. 

“Maybe you don’t have enough T-lympho- what-nots to…” Ryan joked.

“T-lymphoCYTES,” the Doctor corrected. “I can hear you. Anyway, if your body encounters the same pathogen again, the T-lymphocytes remember them. They deploy B-lymphocyte cells to attack and kill the disease.

“Okay…” Graham answered, waiting to see where she was going with this explanation.

“Vaccinations work by simulating the infection in some way. So your body produces the anit-biodies without getting sick. Or at least, as sick as you would have gotten had you not been inoculated. Then the T-lymphocytes remember how to attack the disease.”

“What does this have to do with Yaz?” Ryan asked, not quite understanding himself.

“It doesn’t mean the disease isn’t in your system-- the virus still tries to attack, but is killed before it can take hold. Yaz has the virus, but her body is fighting it off. She’ll be fine. But I needed the two of you upstairs so you wouldn’t catch it from her.” 

“But she’ll be okay, Doc?” Graham asked. “You’re sure?”

“‘Course I’m sure! Certainty is a benefit of being in the future,” she stated. 

“So she’s with you on the TARDIS right now?” Graham asked. “Past you, that is? Or, present you, for us?”

“Wait…” Ryan interrupted. “I just realized-- why are we stuck in the flat doing nothing when there’s loads to do on the TARDIS?” he asked. 

“We agreed to stay put,” Graham reminded him.

“Yeah-- not to leave this time period-- but the TARDIS still has basketball courts, a jacuzzi-- an entire rainforest even. We could have been having fun this whole time!”

“I thought that was the point,” the Doctor answered him. “Didn’t you choose to live this experience like everyone else? So when your mates told stories of their survival, you could relate? Thought that’s what you wanted…”

“No one actually asked me what I wanted to do, if you recall...” Ryan countered.

“Oi! I would have liked nothing more than to seclude the three of you in the TARDIS, if YOU recall. The three of you still don’t pay much attention when I say things....” Ryan and Graham could hear themselves talking in the background. It was quiet enough that they couldn’t hear what they were saying, but loud enough they could make out their voices. “Well I’m calling you now, aren’t I?!” the Doctor answered future Ryan and Graham.

“Was that just us?!” Ryan asked, surprised. 

“Yeah. You’re a bit upset with me, I’m afraid. Hadn’t gotten around to explaining everything to you until now. The two of you had to remind me-- sort of forgot. Not my fault, though-- I got distracted! Loads happened and I ran out of time! But again, that’s the benefit of time travel-- I knew I could call you in the future, and it would only be moments after you went upstairs. Stay there, Ryan.”

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m upstairs, just like you said,” Ryan said in defense of himself.

“Sorry, I was talking to my Ryan. The future you…” she explained.

Ryan could hear chirps and tweets in the background. “Was that a bird?” he asked. 

“Yes,” the Doctor admitted. “Had to drop by the pet store for a friend.”

“You’re in a pet store in the future?” Graham asked.

“Technically, I’m in a pet store in the past. My past. And I guess yours as well,” she said, referencing when she met Mary-- the first time she attempted to go grocery shopping at the market. “Long story…” 

“My head’s beginning to hurt...” Graham stated, massaging his temples.

“Anyway, I should let you two go-- loads to do! See you soon! Or, you know-- a past version of me will, that is…” 

“I imagine you have months of travels to catch up on,” Ryan remarked. “How many months exactly?”

“Good try, Ryan,” the Doctor critiqued. “You know I can’t tell you that. Spoilers and all...”

“Come on, Doctor-- I’m over this virus!” he begged. “I just want to know when my life will begin again.”

“Oh Ryan…” the Doctor’s voice softened with compassion. “I know life hasn’t been easy recently. The normality, as you know it, is gone. You’ve been out of work. Financially, you’re exhausted; emotionally, you’re bored; and you’re worried about those you love-- like Yaz-- who have been exposed to this virus. But I don’t want you to feel that your life is on hold-- like you’re just wasting time waiting for the next chapter to begin. You will get back to a sort of normal one day-- and when you do, you may feel cheated out of the months it took to get it all back.”

“And how many months was that again?” Ryan asked. Though he couldn’t see it, he could feel the Doctor’s eyes rolling at him.

“But this is your life, too. This moment, you are still living. It’s a part of your story. I want you to remember that, because it matters. In fact, that’s the single most important thing. Every moment that you are on this earth is part of an incredible story-- an incredible human life. This chapter might have seemed meaningless or boring to you, but I am SO grateful for each of those mundane moments. It’s because of them that the three of you are here with me now.” Ryan could hear himself in the background again. “Close the TARDIS door-- the virus is still out here, Ryan-- it’s March!” Her attention came back to present-day Ryan. “Made the mistake of landing INSIDE the store. Scared some ferrets-- they’re really skittish! Did you know they sold ferrets?!”

“Doctor…” Ryan tried to get her refocused.

“I know-- I already have a pet… wouldn’t want Bill to get jealous…” 

“Yes. THAT is what I was thinking…” Ryan stated sarcastically. 

“Better go… now a gerbil is starting at me, and I don’t like the look of malicious intent in his eyes…” 

“Stay safe, Doctor,” Ryan implored.

“You as well,” she said. And then hung up the phone.

THE END 

Author’s note:

I just wanted to take a moment and thank anyone who actually read to the end of this fanfiction. I started writing to pass the time, but your words of kindness and support have meant a lot to me :-). 

I tried to touch on all of the aspects of a pandemic that I could think of-- the fear that comes with the unknown; loneliness; people refusing to take this disease seriously; financial insecurity; the family who gets on your nerves because you’ve all been quarantined together for too long haha-- and how you think to yourself, “I’m done with everyone and everything and I just want to get back to normal!” And also the better aspects-- not that there’s a GOOD thing about a disease infecting the world, but there are aspects of our lives right now that we’re never going to be able to do again. Working from home in my 3rd trimester has been challenging in many ways. I miss my coworkers. I miss my routine. I miss seeing my mom, sisters, and friends. I never imagined I’d have to go through what is probably my only pregnancy without my support system. But it’s also been nice to have to slow down the last couple of months before my baby is born. It’s taken away some of the pressure. It’s not a fair trade off-- I miss my family, and I’d rather people not die lol, but it did get me thinking, “what am I doing with this time that I’ll never get back?” Besides complain :-). Enjoying the moment isn’t the right phrase-- but enjoying the MOMENTS might be, if that makes sense.

I wanted to finish this fic before I had my baby, knowing that once she comes I’ll have no time ever again haha. I get induced on Friday! So soon! But anyway-- I just wanted to say thank you. Again, I started writing to get my mind off of things, but YOU are the ones who got me through :-). I sincerely, truly appreciate it!


End file.
